Don't miss a single hillarious issue of Bruno the Bandit,
Freefall or The Melonpool
Chronicles! Check back
every day for laughs from Aphelion's featured cartoonists!
Hello and welcome!
Well, there isn't anything in current events
that has set me off on a rant for this month, so maybe its about time
for something lighter to grace my editorial again. Quite possibly
everyone has seen a short little piece on CNN about the wit desplayed
on the signs carried by the current crop of anti-war protestors. Even
if you don't agree with the protesters, you'll have to admit that they
have some talented minds among them. Luckily for me, the nice people
over on the Larry Niven mailing list collected a listing of these
slogans. I'd like to quote them for your entertainment. Please join me
in thanking the Niven List folks for their work in making this listing.
And thank the protesters themselves for being so inventive.
War Is SO 20th
Don't Mess With
Draft The Bush Twins
War Is A Dick
Thing, Peace Is A Heart Thing
Bush does for
Christianity what Bin Laden does for Islam
When Bush Comes To
Brains Not Bombs
Goddess Bless the
Whole Wide World
Weapon Of Mass Distraction
Beat The Bushes For
Weapons Of Mass
Destruction: Look Under The Bushes
Drop Bush, Not Bombs
Evolve! Work For A
If War Is The
Answer, We're Asking The Wrong Question
People Is The Problem, Not The Solution
Save America, Spare
Iraq, Make Texas Take Him Back
Real Patriots Drive
Drop Names, Not
Who Would Jesus
Stop Mad Cowboy
Couldn't Run A Laundromat
Bush Is A Servant
Of Sauron. We Hates Him!
There Is No Path To
Peace - Peace IS The Path
Justice Or Just Us?
Tame The Tyrant In
The Mirror, Then The One In Iraq
Rumsfeld: Axis Of Weasel
Go Solar, Not
A Village In Texas
Has Lost Its Idiot
How Many Lives Per
Energy Not War
How Did Our Oil Get
Under Their Soil?
Begins At Home
More MPGs, Less MIAs
Rich Man's War Poor
Our Grief Is Not A
Cry For War
Smart Bombs Don't
Justify Dumb Leaders
We Have Guided
Missiles And Misguided Men
Who's The Unelected
Tyrant With The Bomb?
Not Daddy's Retribution
All Humanity Is
If You Are Not
Outraged You Are Not Paying Attention
Ariel Sauron -
Needs $12 Billion more for the armies of Mordor
There were many more signs on the list, but
these that I quoted are some of the best and most inventive ones.
Feelings run high on both sides of the question of war. No matter how
you personally feel, please make your feelings known to your
governmental representatives. You have a right to express your
opinions, but you should express them where it will do the most good.
Its a big world out there, but we are all connected in some way. Let's
try to think of a way to make it a better world, too.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
Thanks for your time,
I'd like to thank those of you who have sent e-mails or signed
into the Lettercol for your feedback. Keep those messages coming,
folks! Without those messages we will never know what we need to
improve upon. Hope you like the improvements so far!
Senior Editor, Publisher
Short Story Editor
Assistant Short Story Editor
Production Editor/Serials Editor
Assistant Serials Editor
Serialized Stories & Novellettes
Questors Part Five
By Frederick Rustam Kevin and Marylou learn why information on the
wants to be reliable and why it wants to be free.
-- Part One
By James McCormick
Jonathon Blake, a divorced ex cop and washed up private eye who hates
his job, is shaken from his inertia when his son goes missing in
strange circumstances. Having few clues to go on, Blake must first
his way through the world of crime and street gangs before he can begin
to learn what is going on. With the help of a mysterious Egyptian
academic and his strange servant Omar, he pushes forward towards a
confrontation for which no one, it turns out, could posssibly be
Slopes of Shangri-la
By Christopher Bradley "He was twenty-two years old when he went into the
mountains with his
books. Twenty-two! He moved with the hubris and arrogance of
youth. He simply did not know. If he had been older, wiser, more
experienced he would have never locked himself amongst the snowy peaks,
the ancient stands of trees, the vast plateaus of the Shotoragal
Mountains with those obscene, alien books..."
By Christian R. Bonawandt
Stendhal Macross is a bad-ass mercenary who hasn't let his poor
peripheral vision get in the way of his work. However, when he
believes he's been betrayed is the moment he fails to see what's right
of his face.
By Jeff Williams Kyle Halcyon, only scion of Ulysses and Lydia
Starry Night at the Port of Stars, the
last place on the
continent before land gave way to ocean. What awaited him was beyond
even his powers of imagination...
By Mark Stanley, and Steve Troop Did he say daily? Yep, Aphelion is proud to feature two
of the funniest comic strips on the Internet, Mark Stanley's
"Freefall" and Steve Troop's "The Melonpool Chronicles". Bookmark
this page, you don't want to miss a single installment!
by Jim Parnell The collected wisdom of Bubba WARNING: Contains Language.
Aphelion proudly presents the installments of Double Wide all on
one page of links. We wanted to make sure that the wit and wisdom
of Bubba wasn't lost for new readers, so we made a mini-archive
list of just the Double Wide features.
You, Grandfather by Heather Munn Heather Munn reflects on the spirit which brought us
and which will take us to new horizons tomorrow.
by Rob Wynne Rob Wynne bangs his head against Phoenix's "Into the
A Challenge to
Writers... --8\8\2000-- Not a contest, but a series of ideas to spark off a
Challenge 1 is the paintings of Daniel Hannaquand, Challenge 2 is a
collection of narrative hooks composed by Dan Hollifield.
Click here to see the Links Page. Our fellow E-zines, Astronomy,
research material, entertainment, and much, much more!
Aphelion IRC Chat --2\16\2001-- Information about a new feature for Aphelion. IRC
Chat is a fun
way to talk to our readers, writers, staff members, and other
netizens. This link takes you to a basic intro and provides further
links to the IRC software that you can download for free. Look for
new updates as we refine this feature.
Hollifield reviews: "The Merlin Conspiracy"
The new novel by Diana Wynne Jones Welcome to the adventures of Roddy, Nick, and
And banner artwork for links. If you want to link to Aphelion and want more than a
then this page is for you. Some of these banners are finished, but
most of them lack only my adding text to make them complete.
Unfinished banners can be completed and e-mailed to you within 8
days. The banner HTML code-- and image --can be e-mailed on
request, or can be more simply copied from the "View /
Source" option in your web browser. Finished images can be copied
from the banner artwork page itself. An exchange of links or banner
links is always welcome. Link Swap E-mail should be sent to: Dan Hollifield
If you would like to receive notices from Aphelion when
page is updated, please join our new, revised, automatic mailing
list. To subscribe:
Send a message to email@example.com
following in the body of the message:
subscribe aphelion <email address>
As always, this mailing list will only be used to notify you
new issues and will never be given out to anyone else... 'cause I
hate spam as much as you do!
Instead of the back issues the banner below now takes you to
the Archives-where all our past stories are available for you to
I've decided to ditch the back issues in favor of the
The Archives are easier to use and can be indexed by author or
story title. Hopefully this will ease the task of finding a
favorite story. We may start a page of our past cover art, if there
is a call for it. Thanks for your readership for without you,
nothing we do has any meaning.