by Jim Parnell

The Vinyl Frontier
To boldly go
Where no man
Ever cared to before.

Every now and then Bubba surprises me.  Last week he sent me some old screenplays, dusty, moth-eaten, but still legible between the beer stains and seed burns.  Claims he wrote 'em back in the sixties after getting all inspired by that famous television series.   But with the likes of Harlan Ellison and L. Ron Hubbard popping out the trailblazing scripts, I s'pose old Gene had enough quality verbiage to tide him over.

They're also extremely short, and tinged with that Bubbaness that might have sent the Rod-man screaming for Security, if his first readers had passed these noodlings on up the line.

Lucky for us we have no such restrictions, quality-wise, so here are a few of the best -- of the worst -- of the continuing saga and cultural phenomenon known as Star Trek.

 Where No Man Has Gone Before...
Just When You Thought it was Safe
Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not a Rabbi

Oh I almost forgot.  Here's a timely bit of verse the Bubbster forgot to destroy.  Hey, who says he doesn't have a sensitive side?
Valentine's Day Massacre

Double-Wide, Copyright © 1998 by Jim Parnell

Jim Parnell squashes bugs for a living -- like the ones that infest your computer. For fun he writes stuff like what you just read, as well as other stuff. See Ma, that's what happens when you don't send your kids to Harvard. You can e-mail Jim Parnell at

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