Aphelion Issue 245, Volume 23
November 2019
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Three Wishes

by Ray Prew

I write this message dear reader, to warn you of the dangers of being cursed with three wishes. Let me tell you my story.

My name is Doctor Evert von Scott and I was a science teacher at Denton high school. Usually during the summer, I teach refresher courses to graduates looking to enroll in college. One particular summer I decided to try something different and spent the summer with an archeology team in the Middle East. It turned out to be a bad decision.

As chance would have it, I found an ancient oil lamp buried in the sand near a satellite dig a few miles from the main site. It was so beautiful I decided to not report it and take it home for myself. That was my first mistake.

When I got home, I decided to polish my new treasure, to both beautify it and more easily read and study the inscription. This turned out to be my second mistake. As I started to rub the brass polish on it, it started to glow and vibrate. A moment later, an entity appeared before me. The entity thanked me for freeing it from being imprisoned in the lamp, and in gratitude promised to serve me for three wishes, which I eagerly accepted. This was my third and largest mistake.

My first wish was an obvious one I wished for a million dollars. The entity said, "Granted," and disappeared. In the spot where it stood, there was a big pile of cash. I was overjoyed until I tried to spend it. I eagerly filled my pockets with money and headed for the mall. Unfortunately, each bill, regardless of denomination, has an individual registered serial number, since this money was magically created, it had no serial numbers.

When I got to the mall, I filled a shopping cart with clothes and electronic devices. When I got to the checkout line, the clerk at the register noticed the missing serial numbers and called my money counterfeit. The manager gave me a dirty look and called the police. Fortunately, I got away before they arrived. The cash was useless; I wouldn't be able to spend it anywhere.

I decided to try something different for my second wish. I summoned the entity and told it I wanted to have any woman I wanted to fall madly in love with me. The entity said "Granted," and disappeared. I didn't feel any different. I decided to try out my new ability.

I went for a walk in the park. During my walk, I encountered a woman walking her dog that I often passed during my walks. We had never spoken, simply smiled acknowledgement at each other. This time I struck up a conversation with her. Within a few minutes, her eyes seemed to glaze over and she invited me to her home. It was the best sex I ever had. As I was leaving she insisted on my phone number, foolishly I gave it to her without thinking.

The next day I went to the beach and met two girls at an ice cream stand. I started talking to them and again within minutes, their eyes glazed over and I was invited back to their home. The sex was fantastic. They also insisted on my phone number. This wish was working out well or so I thought.

I spent the next two weeks trying out every woman I met; nightclubs had a whole new life for me. This only really lasted for those two weeks, because it was then that I started to feel a burning sensation when I peed. On my way to the doctors, I passed a newspaper box with a picture of me, and a headline about my passing counterfeit money.

Fortunately, I was operating from a hotel room. I didn't want these women to know where I lived. I wasn't interested in relationships, just sex. The story went on to say how I had tried to pass counterfeit money at the mall. They got my picture off the store security cameras. They raided my house and found the rest of the magic money. There was now a warrant for my arrest.

When I got to the doctors, I was informed I had three different sexually transmitted diseases, requiring expensive antibiotics. By now I had been with over fifty women, I couldn't remember all their names for the health reports. The ones that had my number wouldn't stop calling and asking for my time. At least fifteen women had sworn out complaints against me for giving them the clap. I was now wanted for passing counterfeit money and spreading sexually transmitted diseases. Jail looked like a real possibility. I couldn't return to my home or job as both were under surveillance.

I summoned the entity and told it for my third wish I wanted all the people complaining about me, and all the cops looking for me, to just go away. The entity said, "Granted," and disappeared. A few days later, there was a news report on television, that in addition to the charges about counterfeiting and spreading diseases, I was now wanted for questioning in over eighteen missing persons including missing cops.

In the space of just a few weeks, I went from being a respected high school science teacher, respected by students, facility, and neighbors, to being a wanted felon.

The entity no longer appeared, its promise of three wishes had been fulfilled. I was wanted by the authorities, I was diseased. My life was in ruins and my name was reviled, and all because of that dammed lamp and its entity.

I've been a fugitive for a few years now. I was able to flee to Buenos Aires so I can't be extradited. The burning, warts, and itching still plague me. Sometimes at night when I lay down to sleep, somewhere in my head I can hear the entity laughing at me.

As you read my story, take heed and remember. Getting magic wishes isn't all it's cracked up to be.


2012 Ray Prew.  This story was previously published in Death Head Grin magazine.

Bio: Ray Prew was originally from Rhode Island, but now lives in Florida.  He is a graduate of the New England Institute of Technology.  He has been a blue-collar worker all his life, and started writing as a hobby.  He spent nine enjoyable years as a phone psychic.  His work has been published in Spinetinglers magazine 6 times and one of the stories was used in a trivia quiz.  Another was used on a You Tube page: it is called "Some Monsters Are Real." Yet another was made into a short video on You Tube called "Let me Out by Ray Prew."  He has been published in The Cynic Online (3 times), Aphelion magazine (6 times) and several others.  He has an anthology book of published and unpublished stories available on Amazon called Delightful Nightmares.

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