Don't You Want To Be Immortal?

By Minoti Baro


I wasn't really eager to go to my high school reunion. My memories of that time period mainly involved being bullied and harassed. I had my fun, ofcourse. Saira, my best friend then, and I had had our moments mischief. She was the reason I was attending the reunion. No one seemed to know where she was, not even her mom. I thought that perhaps I would find Saira there.

The reunion was, at most, an expensive affair. The alumini had spent a lot of money on this one, with quality champagne, sushi, and a moderately famous rock band. I recognised a few of the faces. Most belong to those who either bullied and harassed me, or never gave a damn. There was no sign of Saira. I did, however, see Cortland Thomas. I used to have a secret crush on him back in the day and he was one of those people who never gave a damn. I never managed to classify him in high school. He was a jock, but he was also academically brilliant. And all the girls wanted him. He looked the same as he did the last time I saw him, tall, brown hair and a pair of sharp blue eyes, icy cold.

I waited inside the hall for Saira, sitting in the corner and fending off anyone who wanted to socialise by avoiding eye contact and looking at my feet. Then I decided to stand closer to the stage so that the band could entertain me. A few people, mainly teachers, managed to get a conversation out of me, though a very basic one. I kept giving Saira another half an hour until almost two hours had passed.

"Okay, I'm leaving," I told myself, losing patience. It was unlikely Saira was going to show up afterall. She had had a harder time than I did as a teenager.

I turned to leave, only to bump into Cortland.

"Pixie?" he said.

"What?" I asked. My face was burning.

"You're Pixie..." He was smiling. His cold eyes warmed a little.

"Oh..." Pixie was the nickname Saira and my other "geek" friends had given me. "Yes."

"I'm Cortland."

"Yes..."

"The band sucks... would you like to come outside with me?"

I followed him out, my face still burning.

"How's it going?" he asked.

"Okay."

"You seem to find corners highly entertaining."

"I'm just being unsocial," I said. "I'm not as friendly and likeable as you are."

He laughed. "Oh gosh, it's been ages since I've been here. I remember these lawns." He took a deep breath. "So do I." I had my arms folded, protectively I suppose. He had no reason to be talking to me, especially after ignoring me throughout highschool.

"Those were the days-"

"No they weren't." I wondered what I was doing, standing in the lawn with the likes of him. "Your jerk friends made my life miserable."

"Ow."

"Sorry." I bit my lip.

"Oh... that's fine. If it makes you feel any better, I stopped hanging out with them as soon as I graduated."

I was about to make a remark about popular people and shallow friendships, but I managed to keep my mouth shut. I didn't want to sound like I was bitter. "So what do you do now?" I asked instead.

"I work at the Belmont Research facility. I'm a full time nerd now." He smiled. "What about you?"

"Belmont?" I lived in Belmont. "I work in a herbal store, in downtown Belmont."

"Really? I've never seen you around..."

"I'm one of 3 million people in Belmont, you know."

"Smartass."

The night ended up being a lot better than I thought it would be. Cortland and I got along suprisingly well. He even stole us a couple of champagne bottles.

"So, where are you staying for the weekend?" I asked him staring at the stars, with my back on the grass. It was a warm mid july night, and for the first time in my life, I was at peace on school grounds, not to mention drunk.

"I think I have a reservation somewhere." He chuckled. "I've forgotten?"

"You could stay with us for the weekend. Would you like to come home and meet my mom?"

"Already?"

"Bastard." I hit him.

I did take him to my mother's home that night, and made him sleep on the couch. I also forgot about Saira.

My mom woke up up early. "There was a strange man sleeping on my couch," she told me. She had a smile on her face. "I made him fresh orange juice."

"Mom..." My head was hurting. "You make a stranger fresh juice and won't even get your hangovered daughter a glass of water...?"

"He's cute."

"Yes mom."

"You should keep him."

"No mom."

Cort and I spent the weekened together, mostly driving around town, seeing the sights and doing the things we used to when we were kids. I pointed at an old abandonned building. "They still haven't torn that thing down."

"Yeah, this town is rotting."

"Let's go in there- second floor..."

"It's condemned-"

"Pussy-"

"Okay!"

Everything was still there. The empty bottles of pop, pictures on the wall, air mattress, now deflated, even the stereo.

"Hmm."

"What?" Cortland asked.

"Someone was here recently... look, there's no dust. Maybe... hmm."

Cort looked at me. "What?"

"Nothing." Perhaps Saira still came here. She had always been afraid of change. She was mentally unstable, as well. I tried to be the best friend I could, even after graduation, but I had to move on with my life. I had to leave her.

I looked around some more. Everything was as I remembered, just more rotten. And there was a strange indescribable smell. I scribbled quickly on a piece of paper. "Saira, I came looking for you. I'm still your friend, and will always be. I'll come back tomorrow morning before I leave for Belmont. Please be here. Love, Pixie."

Cort was quiet for the rest of the day. I didn't know him well enough to ask him why.

"I wonder why we never hooked up when we were in school," he said over a dinner vegetarian pizza.

"I don't know." I had avoided him like the plague because I lusted after him, and would probably have been terrorised by his buddies had they known.

"I was going to ask you to the prom, but your mom had told me you left town for the week-"

"What?!" I almost choked on pizza. "You're fucking kidding!"

"It's true. Ask your mom. I thought you were the coolest thing ever after that stunt you pulled on Jake's car." He laughed.

I blushed. "It was Saira's idea." We had painted his convertable pink, with yellow flowers, because he thought he was oh so macho, tough and cool.

"Of course I tried to talk to you before that too. But you're a snoot."

"You're lying. I don't ever recall you trying to talk to me."

"Gee, now you're saying I had absolutely no impact on your memory." He pouted. "Remember that time when you and that guy with thick glasses-"

"Tim?"

"Maybe... I guess so... well anyway, when you two won the creative science award, I came to congratulate you and you walked right past."

It came back to me. He was right. I had been so nervous I just ignored him.

"Well, I don't think I remember that... but I do have a bad memory. My belated appologies."

"I'm suprised you didn't ignore me at the reunion, snoot."

"You're having dinner with me here and now, jock face."

He leaned on the table and kissed my forehead. "I like you."

"It's been an amazing couple of days..." I said.

"Even for you?" he asked.

"Especially for me."

I joined him on the couch that night. Our plan was to get up at the break of dawn, to catch a hold of Saira or however was staying at the building and then we were going to drive back to Belmont, together. I woke up from a dream. In it Saira was dead, and she was talking to me. Cort kissed my shoulder. He had been awake before I was and was already dressed when I opened my eyes.

"I went out for a walk," he said with a smile. "It's a gorgeous morning, and you're beautiful."

"Liar," I said, rubbing my eyes.

"Hey, if I wanted to be in your pants, I could have done that a couple of days ago, while you were drunk and more agreeable." He winked.

"Jerk."

I got ready. I had packed a few things for Saira, food that she liked- fresh strawberries, candy, and also a few shiny items from the dollar store. We had been dollar store freaks, not because we were poor, but because they were fun with shiny things, especially plastic jewelry.

I didn't talk much as Cort drove to the building. I kept having flashes of Saira, talking to me though I couldn't hear a word she was saying because she was dead.

"I hope you don't mind waiting here..." I told Cort once we were outside the building.

"Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded. "I'm feeling kind of protective of you already."

"Bah. I'll be back." I stuck out my tongue at him.

The place was a mess. Our things were strewn all over. The stereo had been smashed. The package I had brought for her fell from my arms. "Saira?" I looked for any signs of her, my heart pounding. "Saira? Are you here, baby? Saira!" There was no one in the building. Cort came after me when I was gone for more than 15 minutes, with a gun. He found me, on the mattress, crying.

"I had a dream about her... I dreamt that she was dead. She was talking to me but I couldn't hear anything... and I was scared of her because she was dead."

"Shh..." Cort had me in his arms. "You don't even know if she was here... it could have been anyone... some other bum. Think of it."

"Where could she be? I should have come earlier when she said she wanted to kill herself. But I told her to come to Belmont because I was too fucking busy!" I burst into tears again. "I'm a lousy friend! She probably hates me."

"No..." He wiped my tears on his sleeves. "Listen to me... she was a manic depressive, right? She wasn't right in the head. She didn't hate you. Now let's go... this place is creepy."

I nodded. He pulled me up from the mattress and held my hand as he led me out. I stopped to look at what looked like a pool of water. I stepped on it, it was thicker than water. "I wonder what that is?" "I'd rather not know... come on."

I was in the SUV, listening to Moonlight Shadow by Mike Oldfield when it occured to me that Cort had refered to Saira in past tense. I looked at him, debating on whether to inquire about it. I decided to let it drop, seeing that he had slept very little and was trying hard to concentrate on the road. I was in no state to drive, with my hands shaking, and images of Saira dead and trying to talk to me. Then I totally forgot about it.

I spent every night of the following two weeks with Cort. We were very comfortable with each other, except when it came to his job. He didn't want to talk about it. He insisted on keeping it out of his personal life. All I knew about his work was that it involved cyrogenics. I don't think I wanted to know more. On the other hand, he came to my work place almost every single day, occasionally bringing me dinner.

Then one night he couldn't make it. I didn't mind, though being with Cort was bliss. I liked walking home, being that my apartment was just a couple of blocks from work.

It was a pleasant walk, with my walkman blaring in my ears and gentle summer night breeze in my hair. And then I felt as if I was being watched. I was just a few minutes from my apartment. Run, I thought.

And then I smelled something.

"Saira!" I said out loud. It was the same smell from the building. I looked behind me. There was nothing. There were some trees by the apartment building. That was where the smell was coming from. "Sai-"

A hand clamped over my mouth. I couldn't scream. Then I saw the face that belonged to the hand. I fainted.

Saira didn't blink. She didn't say a word. Her skin was a blue tone. She had two bullet wounds, one on the right side of her head, and the other on her shoulder. Both shots had gone right through to the other side. I was too scared to move. I wanted to wake up from this bad dream, but no matter how hard I tried, no matter how many times I tightly shut my eyes and reopened them, Saira was still sitting in front of me, looking right at me. We were still by the apartment, hidden from sight by the trees. Saira opened her mouth. She seemed to be trying hard to do that. A low groan came out of her mouth.

"Saira..?" I said, shaking.

She groaned again.

"Hhh..hhhe..." a thick clear fluid oozed out of her mouth. I managed to stop myself from screaming.

"P..P.. ph...liss...hhelp...m..m..me." "Oh god wha-"

There were three deafening shots. Saira fell on her side. Her head was blown off. I fainted again.

When I came to, I was in a bed, in some sort of a lab. Cort's lab.

"Water?" he said, handing me a glass.

My hand shook to the point of spilling. Cort held it firm for me. He was calm. The icy cold look in his eyes had returned.

My pulled my hand away from him. "You know what's going on."

"Relax I'm not going to hurt you."

My muscles started relaxing. There had been something in the water. "Tell me..."

"I guess I should... being that..." he paused, but I knew he was going to say "being that I just blew off your beast friend's head." He shook his head. "Damn! It's best that I don't tell you anything."

"Fuck you! You blew off my best friend's head, dammit!" I tried to get up, and instead fell off the bed. He approached to help me. "No!" I screamed. "Don't touch me!" I clawed at him.

"She was already dead!" He gripped my shirt and shook me. "She killed herself, here in Belmont, right at the research centre. We were looking for people who wanted to kill themselves, to get their bodies and minds intact. She came here. She had a painless death." He let go of me. "I didn't know. I swear I didn't." He looked at me, imploring. "I didn't know until I saw them bring the body into my lab. I would have tried to stop her. I knew she was your friend."

The sedatives were kicking in.

"I was just doing my job. Here, this is her..." he held up a chip. "She was scanned before she died... she's all in there. She managed to get out of the facility... she just didn't know she was dead. I knew you would lead me to her... but still, if none of this had happened... you and I, we could have been so happy... together..." My vision was fading.

"I really like you..." he continued... "I'm even beginning to love you... don't you want to be immortal?"

I'm beginning to realise I'm dead.

The End

Copyright © 2001 by Minoti Baro

Bio: Minoti Baro is 24 years old and comes from northeast India. She majored in English literature in Delhi and is now studying metalsmithing at Wayne State University in Michigan. This is her fifth story to appear in Aphelion.

E-mail: minoti@hotmail.com

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