I’m sure you will understand and agree your honor sir, once you hear all the facts of this case, why I should be cleared of all charges.
Well yes sir, you’re quite right, I did admit to doing it and I will not waste your important time by denying it now. As for being dragged, kicking and screaming, back to the ship well, I was somewhat distraught. After all I had just killed my captain. Anyone would be upset after having done that.
The first officer your honor?
Yes I killed him too.
And the Chief medical officer.
I was really sorry when I pushed him off that cliff. I got along rather well with him.
But as you’ll see your honor sir, as much as I hated doing what I did, I had to do it.
Oh yes, I also admit to having dropped that boulder on ensign Kohburg. It was him or me your honor sir. I’m sure he was just slower then me. He had a plan to do the same thing I did.
Did he tell me this himself?
Well, uh, no but he would have to have had a plan. It’s the only sane thing to have done in those circumstances your honor sir.
I graduated in the top ten percent of all my classes. I was going to go far in the ranks.
I had my career planned to the finest detail. I was set for glory!
When I was posted to this ship I new I was on the right path.
Until I started doing some research into her background.
I couldn’t stay on this ship. Nor could I ask for a transfer to another ship. By everything that I had read in my research that would have been worse.
I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible during my shifts. I even transferred to a department where I thought I would not be noticed. I know chief dishwasher is below me but it’s the only post I could think of.
Things looked good for a while, and when the Thalorian virus swept through the ship I was sure we would head for home. Once dirtside I could ask for a transfer off this cursed ship. It would be a setback in my career but I could get it back on track quickly enough.
We did indeed head for home. By the quickest route the navigators could determine
I was ecstatic. I could see myself becoming a ship’s captain in no time. I could taste it!
As you may know your honor sir she is an exploration vessel. So our course outbound was rather round about. Going first one way then another. Stopping here and there to expand our knowledge. But, as I said, our course back was the quickest possible.
Straight line.
A to B.
Right through a patch of space largely unexplored.
Shit!
Sorry your honor sir. It won’t happen again.
Ten hours after we were under way the first officer detected an anomaly to port. It was a black hole. The captain said to log it for future study. Black holes are rare in that area but not unknown. We could come back.
Fifteen minutes later a planet was detected orbiting the black hole. It had an atmosphere and biological life. This should have all been impossible so of course there was nothing for it but that we check it out. "Just an hour or two out of our way" the captain said. "After all Thalorian flu isn’t fatal".
We established orbit and the captain chose a landing party. Since the virus incapacitated everyone in science the captain scanned the personnel files for a suitable candidate.
As I said before your honor sir I was at the top of my class. So guess who’s name popped up at the top of the list.
When the captain called and requested that I join him on the landing party my mind went into overdrive. I had to come up with a plan to get me back home and back on my career track.
Once on planet I did what had to be done and now here I am before you…
You still don’t see why I had to kill them your honor sir??
Didn’t you read all the old log entries that I entered into evidence??
All my research into this ship showed only one thing. It’s stated right there in the logs. There is no other possible conclusion.
THE NEW GUY ON THE LANDING PARTY ALWAYS DIES. EVERY TIME!
I could not let that happen to me. It would ruin my plans for my career so if someone had to die it had to be everybody else. Not me.
So there you have it your honor sir. The facts speak for themselves. If you’ll just tell these MPs to remove the cuffs I’ll trouble you no further and be on my way to my illustrious career path.
Penal colony on Drexal 4?? No I don’t believe I’ve heard of it your honor sir.
What do you mean they’ll appreciate a NEW GUY on that planet????
The End
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E-mail: dfb@p2net.ca
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