Aphelion Issue 293, Volume 28
September 2023
 
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My Confession

Or
Walking Out On Love 1984

by Richard Tornello


This will be my confession to the Elders before I am to be terminated for interfering with the life forms on a planet called Earth. I was only there to observe not to become involved. We are The Watchers and Recorders of planetary history throughout the galaxy. I was placed in my position and specific location due in part that as a writer, worse yet a poet in my world was deemed not one that should not cause too much damage as a Watcher, as opposed to a physist or a politician.

We are forbidden to establish any meaningful relationships with these beings. These beings, humans they call themselves, are a strange race. Once you get to know them you either despise them for their cruelty or love them for everything else. I fell in love with one of them specifically for the indefinable everything else. Had I run and hid I can only speculate. That is not to be. I made that choice and was discovered. I am not sorry.

MY CONFESSION:

I was installed as the poet laureate for a small university in the Midwest. My credentials were forged. As we are a superior race we have the technical wherewithal. It is my job and my love to write poems for official and semi-official occasions and events pertaining to the University and University life, or death as it happens. My position allows me to live if not a wealthy life, a rich one in terms of work. And, I do-did love my work.

However, once as in many of our lives there was a turning point that made a difference. Some take that path of lesser travel and discover new things. Others trod the well-worn road to everyday existence and follow the rules. Yet there are other turning points that offer as much potential, and one such is discovering true love. Love comes and love goes. But sometimes one lets The Love go only to discover it was gold and riches beyond any fame and comfort or rules. And that love is naught recoverable.

To that experience and as a poet I wrote this poem. I wrote it to myself as a memory of something dear and gone. Her smile and her laugh, etched and the feeling, burned, no seared is a better word, seared in my mind

My story-poem below may come across as light. It is the memory of one dear night, and many years later, still burns as bright. For the light, I rejected that was given to me and my behavior following, I gave myself away.

HER

Once upon an evening early
While I pondered wondered really
Would I score and be so lucky
With my lady lawyer Missy?

Dinner came and dinner went
Off for a drive we two spent.
When down a darkened street I drove,
into my arms, she headfirst dove.

A 2 seat Mazda were we in.
A comfort factor? It was grim.
Arms and legs/ car-tore-shin
Car was rockin, and not a grin.

Cramps in legs and arms galore
Another venue suggested fore.
So to her vehicle we did find,
love most passionate, we did climb.

All too soon it was time to go
A meeting somewhere I was to show.

Another round for her and me.
Another time promised another place.
And we parted in slow loves' haste.

The antidote for this pain laid.
the Rx her bed made.
Greeted at her door, amore.
Hat, heels man tailored shirt, not much more.
With a "how do you do
I'm all for you"
We spent the night would I could restore.

That's my story
Past, it's true
I only wish it could happen to you
Just don't let it slip-a-way
A lifetime's loss, now I pay.

I write this as a lament to myself and as a warning to others. Think with all you have before you let love go. Sometimes the fear, the initial pain and strife, severing the current existence, may cause you to hesitate. Love, something we as watchers never know, trust me on this, it is worth the pain of a new life. Take the leap.

****

This I know. And as per our law and code of conduct goes, I will terminate myself for such a grievous transgression since I am of no use to our Watcher's goals as a disinterested party.


© 2022 Richard Tornello

He began writing short stories and poems about 15 years ago after his exile from the Train Wreck Cluster 811 million parsecs from Earth for blaspheming the local political gods.

To assuage his home sickness, he has self-published 4 children's books including one self-illustrated book of poems.

Rick was the art editor of Quantum Muse and has been published in Aphelion-webzine.com, Orion's Arm.com, ShortHumour.org.uk, Poetry Hall a Chinese & English Bilingual Journal and has few stories in the anthologies: "A Flash of Aphelion," "Fantastical Savannahs And Jungles", "XENOBIOLOGY", "BLEAKEST TOWERS" and soon to be released anthology "OF POETS, SPIES, AND THE UNEARTHLINESS IN THE TIME OF SHAKESPERE AND MARLOW" coming out in January 2023 where he has a poem written in an early/mid English style. He's assisted with the translation of some poetry for a Chinese poet.

He studied at The Art Students League in NYC and later picked up a degree in History with an advanced certification in Asian Studies from Rutgers University. Postgraduate studies concentrated in Chinese maritime history.

He, with his two partners, started and owned one of the first nationally based resume database companies specializing in high tech, computer security and various advanced systems of specialized and classified nature.

Hoping to return home, he continues to have a strong interest in propulsion physics and XXXXXXXXXX CLASSIFIED Alien XXXXXXX CLASSIFIED systems and is working with the Allied Space Commands.

He claims he is not insane and not responsible.

Find more by Richard Tornello in the Author Index.

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