Aphelion Issue 279, Volume 26
December 2022/January 2023
Long Fiction and Serials
Short Stories
Flash Fiction
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Industrial Action

by Stuart Sharp

My evil horde has gone on strike
Refused to ravage, hack and slay.
The goblins have hung up their pikes
In search of breaks and better pay!

How am I meant to conquer all
When my zombies work to rule?
They should be my shambling thralls,
Instead they stand (the mindless fools)!

My witches won’t make sacrifice
To things Beyond with fire and knives.
Being evil was so much more nice
Before they all went unionised.

I’m meant to be a dark warlord,
I should be making bloody war.
Instead, I find myself being bored
By details of employment law.

© 2008 Stuart Sharp

Stuart Sharp is a writer and postgraduate history student currently living in East Yorkshire.

Find more by Stuart Sharp in the Author Index.

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