Aphelion Issue 279, Volume 26
December 2022/January 2023
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Flash Fiction
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Naughty or Nice?

by Iain Muir

So he’s made this list? He’s checked it twice?
He knows if we’ve been naughty or nice?
But what of those full-steeped in Vice?
Those not content to live as mice?

To all of those with conquest planned?
Beings who would rule the land?
All those planning Good’s last stand?
Surely he would understand?

Surely he won’t pass us by?
Couldn’t he give us a try?
So I’ve only got one eye,
I’m really quite a lovely guy!

We really are such lovely guys,
You really can’t believe those lies!
World conquest? Only three tries!
Can’t I have a holiday surprise?

There’s eggnog sitting by the fire,
If he can overlook his ire.
I only hope that he will tire,
And somehow miss that trip-wire!

© 2002 Iain Muir

Iain Muir was born in London, and has since then dived in Mauritius, raced cars on dirt roads through African cane fields, been robbed in German pubs, and now resides in North Sydney. He drinks too much red wine, and spends too much on reading material. He plans on getting rich the old-fashioned way: by winning the lottery.

Find more by Iain Muir in the Author Index.

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