Aphelion Issue 294, Volume 28
May 2024
 
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Employment Opportunities!

by Rico Salvatore


Crash Test Dummy Trainers Wanted for an Automotive Safety Foundation

Great medical benefits, and life insurance.

Requirements:

Do you text message while driving? Write notes and such on your steering wheel while driving? Stare in the rear view mirror applying make-up? Hold the phone to your mouth as if you are eating a slice of pizza, or look down at your lap hiding the fact that in truth you are texting and driving, hoping of course that your auto-braking and lane maintain SW is functioning?

We really want red light runners. They tend to create the best test scenarios and we pay a good rate for the follow on data.

Any one or more of these desired skills are needed for our new operation here in the local area. You will be driving your normal routes in your hometown and paid by the testing you conduct. Any and all Police citations are considered proof of test.

We hire and train if you need. It's not difficult. But total disregard is an important quality.

It's a heart stopping exciting, socially rewarding full time or part time position.

Email your resume and driving history to:

CRASH TEST DUMMY TEST GROUP@ntb.gov

Or mail:

Department of Redundancy Department
DOT
16 Pennsylvania Ave.
Washington DC, 00000


© 2024 Rico Salvatore

Rico Salvatore (BA, CAS, DOM) is a man of mystery… He began writing short stories and poems about 18 years ago after his exile from the Train Wreck Cluster 811 million parsecs from Earth for blaspheming the local political gods.

To assuage his home sickness, he has self-published 4 children’s books including one self-illustrated book of poems.

Rico was the art editor of Quantum Muse and has been published in Aphelion-webzine.com, Orion’s Arm.com, ShortHumour.org.uk, Poetry Hall a Chinese & English Bilingual Journal and has few stories in the anthologies: “A Flash of Aphelion,” “Fantastical Savannahs And Jungles”, “Xenobiology”, “Bleakest Towers” and “Of Poets, Spies, And The Unearthliness in the Time of Shakespeare and Marlow” where he has a poem written in an early/mid English style. He’s assisted with the translation of some poetry for a Chinese poet.

While on the planet he studied at The Art Students League in NYC and later picked up a degree in History with an advanced certification in Asian Studies from Rutgers University. Postgraduate studies concentrated in Chinese maritime history.

He and his two partners started and owned one of the first nationally based resume database companies specializing in high tech, computer security and various advanced systems of specialized and classified nature.

Rico may be contacted at mailto:ricoglg1033@gmail.com

Find more by Rico Salvatore in the Author Index.

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