Aphelion Issue 301, Volume 28
December 2024 / January 2025
 
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Aliens Making Plans

by Brooks C. Mendell


Gargle looked at the flight plan for the planetary attack, checking to make sure they'd be back in time to watch "Aliens at Home," the hit reality show about an alien family.

"Slurk, who is your favorite?" asked Gargle.

"Oh, I like the younger female, Katina, and the way it avoids work," said Slurk, scratching the crossword puzzle hidden inside an operating manual.

"Yes, it is serpentine," said Gargle. "The parents have no idea that the youngers track their locations."

"The father might know," said Slurk, sipping a caffeine juice spiked with fermented renal fluid. "It's an engineer and intuits the dangers of handhelds."

"True," said Gargle. "But it could not know those devices came from us."

"Another successful seeding of torkeling technology!" said Slurk, holding up an appendage for a high seventeen. Gargle responded and they thwapped wetly.

Gargle twisted and retwisted to check and recheck the instrument readings. "Not to question your heritage, but this flight path crosses a lunar satellite."

Slurk, distracted by torkeling porn on a personal monitor, said, "Yes, the flight plan is excellent. I spent much time on it. Thank you for noticing."

Gargle rolled an optical and tried again. "Forgive me your bossness, I think the flight plan sucks and puts us in danger."

"What are you saying?" said Slurk, now aware of the tension.

"This is the wrong planet," said Gargle. "In fact, it's the incorrect planetary system."

Slurk closed the crossword and extended to examine the instrument panel. "Holy shucker mother, we're set to Blue Marble!"

"Yeah, not good," said Gargle, extending to join Slurk, who started to excrete. "What's wrong?"

Slurk, appendages scurrying across the control panel, twisted to Gargle. "Nothing is responding. We no longer control the ship!"

"Where are we headed?"

"We're set to crash on the dark side of their moon."

# # #

"Nice job," said Mom, after Daniel finished reading his story to the family. "Not sure about the renal fluid, but hope you win the contest!"

"Yeah," I said. "Also appreciated the Pink Floyd reference at the end."

"Well, I tried to have something in there for everyone," said Daniel.

"Serpentine?" said Katina. "You basically called me a snake in your story."

"Don't overthink it, Sis," said Daniel. "It's a biblical reference."

"Should I overthink the part about the kids tracking the parents?" I asked.

"C'mon, Dad," said Daniel, glancing at Katina. "It's just science fiction."


© 2023 Brooks C. Mendell

Brooks C. Mendell writes and works in forestry. He lives near Athens, Georgia. www.brooksmendell.com

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