Aphelion Issue 221, Volume 21
September 2017
 
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No Dogs Allowed

by Victor Henry




In the most exclusive restaurant in the entire universe, a snobby, white-faced, no-holds-barred maitre d' plays god. It tells an ambibifacial sea creature from another galaxy that the restaurant's rules state quite simply: No Dogs Allowed. The ambibifacial asks in Doish, Did you say no gods allowed? The dog, the sea creature's companion, raises his right paw to shake hands in a gesture of goodwill. But the patronizing maitre d', above reproach, telepathically informs him: No Dogs Allowed. The sea creature explains she spoke to this very same maitre d' on her Visual-T from three galaxies away while at warp speed to book a reservation and was told Doishes were welcome anytime. With one of her two faces she politely whispers to the obstinate maitre d' that it is a pathetic genderless conglobate. A Universian overhearing the conversation says, Doishes are galactic guests wherever they go. The dog, purposely silent until now, says, In my galaxy when a maitre d' acts like this, we offer it up to our patrons as a delicacy, the first mouthful of each dish, the glory of garbage.

THE END


2014 Victor Henry

Bio:Victor Henry's work has appeared in various small press magazines and e-zines. He is a reference librarian, a Vietnam veteran, and a member of Veterans for Peace. He will have forthcoming work appearing in Misfit Magazine.

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