Thoughts on Writing
#10: Validate Yourself As Well As Your Parking
by Seanan McGuire
The topic of validation is a very touchy one, and we're going to be
returning to it several times as this essay series goes on. Since this
is our first time, we're basically going to validate the idea of
validation -- that is, we're going to look at when it's not only okay
to seek validation, it's practically required. So our thought for the
day is:
When a book or an idea is new, it's okay to want
validation. You're standing at the mouth of a tunnel that's probably
thousands of pages long, once you calculate for discarded text and
revisions, and that's scary. Ask people 'do you like my idea?'. Tell
people you need to hear good things about what you're doing. It's okay
to say 'it's my first time, be gentle.'
As a writer, you're
going to hear a lot of things about validation. Some of those things
will be good. Some of those things will be bad. None of those things
will change the fact that, as human creatures, we will occasionally
require positive feedback to encourage and motivate us, and to keep us
moving forward. So when is it okay to go fishing for approval? What
makes validation a good thing, and not a handicap?
Let's begin.
What Is Validation?
I'm
pretty sure anyone who's reading this knows what validation is, but
just to be sure, we're going to start by agreeing on a definition.
Validation is, essentially, approval of what you're doing. It's the
statement of 'good job,' it's the gold star, it's the person going
'wow, that sounds really neat.' According to Dictionary.com, validation
is:
1. the act of validating; finding or testing the truth of something.
2. the cognitive process of establishing a valid proof.
Okay. So what does it mean to validate something? Again, Dictionary.com
is here to help. It says...
1. to make valid; substantiate; confirm.
2. to give legal force to; legalize.
3.
to give official sanction, confirmation, or approval to, as elected
officials, election procedures, documents, etc.: to validate a
passport.
So for our purposes, validation is that stage where
we seek to confirm that our writing is good, that we are good writers,
that our ideas are worth continuing to pursue. Validation is us
standing up and saying "Why do I do this?" If you want a good example
of validation in action, take a look at any large online fanfiction
community. You'll almost certainly see stories where the author has
said 'if I don't get more validation, I'm going to stop writing' -- in
a world where your writing is a free commodity, validation may be the
only pay that you receive.
Validation is a powerful thing. When
someone says you look nice in what you're wearing, they've just
validated your taste in clothes. When they say you made a lovely
dinner, they've just validated your cooking. We can all practice
self-validation, but for most people, it's the external 'you did good'
that really seems to make a difference. No matter how much time we
spend working on crafting the perfect turn of phrase, the most elegant
idea, the best poetic line, it's the person who goes 'wow, that's cool'
who makes it all worthwhile.
All writers crave validation. It's
true! When I write something that people like, I sit at my keyboard
with this giddy little grin, going 'wow, I done good.' When someone
tells me one of my essays really worked for them, I clap my hands and
beam. I am not unique. We all share ourselves when we write things down
and put them out in front of the world, and nobody wants to hear that
their thoughts, dreams, and ideas are boring, or badly constructed, or
trite. We want validation.
Here's the first thing I want to make very clear: there is nothing
wrong
with wanting to be validated. It's a natural, reasonable, human desire.
The best authors I know still want to hear that their work has value.
Every time I send a book to my editor, I hope she'll like it...and I
have the exact same hope every time I hand a book to someone for
proofreading and revisions. I want to hear that it kept you up past
your bedtime. I want to hear that it moved you. Because I am human, and
humans want that sort of thing. You are entirely allowed to want to be
validated. If you've ever questioned that right, well, don't. I give
you full and blanket permission.
But.
Why Is There Always A 'But'?
Because
I'm mean. Look: I crave validation. It's true. I also crave candy corn.
If I allowed my cravings to dictate my diet, I would live entirely on
candy corn (at least during the fall), and probably be very sick to my
stomach, in addition to developing severe dental problems. This
comparison isn't as off-the-wall as it may seem, because validation is
very much like candy corn. It's sweet and it's sugary and it's good,
and you may think that you want to eat a whole pound of it at once, but
you probably don't.
(If you don't like candy corn, substitute the sweet treat of your
choice.)
Want validation. Want validation constantly. Just remember to be
careful.
I Thought We Were Talking About Validation Being Okay.
We are. I just wanted to get some foundations out there in the open. So
now, let me spin you a scenario:
Bob
and Mary are both writers. More importantly, they're both writers with
a big new idea for a story -- something they're really excited about
writing. Both Bob and Mary tell their best friends their ideas. Bob's
best friend says 'I'm not so sure I like that, I think I read something
like that already, are you really sure you're up for that?' Mary's best
friend says 'oh, wow, how interesting, I can't wait to see what you do
with it.'
Now you tell me: which author is actually going to
maintain enthusiasm for their story long enough to write it? Maybe
both. It's happened. But it's far more likely that Mary's story will be
written, while Bob's story is left to sit idly on a shelf, wasting away
into nothing.
When a thing is new, it needs to be nurtured. You
don't tell a person who's just baked their first cake that it's
horrific; you tell them it was a good try. (Mind you, there's a
difference between nurturing and false praise, but that's a topic for
another day.) As a writer, you need to remember to tell people when a
thing is new, and more importantly, tell them what you want. My first
response when presented with an idea is to look at it critically. Not
to look for the flaws, necessarily, but to figure it out. If you hand
me something and don't tell me it's still in its infancy, I may say
things you're not ready to hear. You'll need to hear them someday...but
that comes later, once you're secure.
It is entirely okay
to say that you've just started working on something, and that you're
looking for validation and constructive critique. I often tell people
that I need them to be gentle with the first chapter or two of a book,
because I'm still testing the waters. If those waters turn out to be
absolutely full of sharks, well, I may not go swimming.
Don't
feel bad about asking for what you need when a project is still young.
And if someone asks you, don't feel bad about giving it to them.
Remember, nurturing something small today gives you something big that
you're allowed to hit with a mallet tomorrow. I give you permission to
fish for compliments! The permission is yours, and cannot be taken
back...but it applies only to new things, not to old ones.
We'll
talk more about validation later. For now, consider what it means and
what your limits are. Knowing them enables you to ask people to respect
them, and that's going to make your life, and your writing, much more
pleasant.
© 2009 Seanan McGuire
Seanan McGuire is an author, poet, and musician who lives in the San Francisco Bay area with two cats and a small army of plush dinosaurs. She has recorded two albums, Stars Fall Home and Red Roses and Dead Things, and her fantasy novel Rosmary and Rue will be published by DAW in September of 2009.
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