In the Company of Dwarves

by Ralph Benedetto, Jr.

The thief moved through the dimly lit cavern like a shadow - not the sort of shadow that glides effortlessly and silently through the darkness undetected, but more like the sort of shadow thrown by an autumn tree in a high wind - long, spindly and dancing jerkily from side to side.

She was, in fact, long and spindly, nearly reaching six feet in height despite the evidence, visible in her face and bone structure, of an elvish ancestor, and she was so thin as to almost be gaunt. Her whole body hummed with nervousness as she climbed down the wall into the cavern. She could look up and see the moon shining down through the opening she had slipped through, and some of that moonlight filtered in behind her, giving the cavern a ghostly, shimmering look.

Llewellyn swallowed hard and drove that thought out of her mind and looked around. It was dark, but that was not much of an impediment. Some overly generous human ancestor had given her height, but her night vision came from the elves.

She swallowed hard again and moved along the cavern wall looking for any sign that she wasn't alone. It was so quiet in the cavern that the slightest scrape of cloth against stone seemed almost painfully loud. Her head was trying to move rapidly in all directions at once, and she caught her breath at every sound that she made, but she couldn't detect any indications of another presence.

Very well. Time to step away from the wall.

She did. The roof didn't collapse. No screaming hordes of attackers leaped out at her. No hideous monsters appeared from nowhere to dismember her and rip the no, no, stop that line of thought and take another step.

She did. This was actually kind of easy. It was still silent, and she was still alone. That was exactly the way she liked it, and that was made it all the more startling when the scream shredded the silence. It was a piercing scream that drilled its way into the skull and bounced off the walls of the cavern, setting up brittle and painful echoes. Llewellyn would have been appalled by the volume of the scream if she hadn't been too busy falling to realize that she was the one screaming.

The floor had suddenly opened up beneath her feet. Frantic grabs at the edges of the newly formed pit had been futile, and she had plunged, screaming, into the darkness, to land suddenly on some soft but knobby object, the scream silenced by the impact.

"It is to get off!" a voice rumbled. It was a loud voice. Painfully loud. It was a very deep voice, as if it welled up from beneath the mountains. As if it welled up, in fact, from the chest of a dwarf. Llewellyn leaped up and backed away. Contamination was always possible.

She looked. It was a dwarf, all right.

She was stuck in a pit with a dwarf.

Worse.

Much worse.

She was stuck in a pit with three dwarves.

Even worse than that. One of them...

"Ho!" bellowed the one who had broken her fall. "Short-elf!"

One of them was Kalan.

Llewellyn gritted her teeth and looked down at the stocky, bearded figure. "How many times do I have to tell you..." she said dangerously, "that I AM NOT SHORT?!!!!"

Kalan nodded heavily and turned to his companions. "Kevek Metalshaper," he said. He was speaking at normal dwarven conversational volume, but it sounded to Llewellyn like a bellow. "Kori Deepdelver." He turned back to Llewellyn. "Short elf." The introductions now complete, he smiled.

Llewellyn ground her teeth together. "Half-elf," she said grimly. "Half, bone brain, not short."

Kalan shook his head. "Short elf should respect self more. Not is half bone brain. Not can help having elf blood."

"I didn't mean--" Llewellyn started to rage and then gave it up. She'd had that particular argument with Kalan enough times to know that she wasn't going to win. It was impossible to force a thought into that stubborn dwarven head of his. "Never mind," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"How does Kalan know elf?" Kevek asked suddenly.

"Not is elf," Kalan replied. "Is short elf."

"Not is much difference," Kevek offered.

"Hey!" Llewellyn snapped. "Quit talking about me like I'm not here."

"What for is here?" Kori asked.

Llewellyn narrowed her eyes at him. "I believe I asked you that question first," she snapped.

"Not did," Kori told her.

"I did, too!" Llewllyn cried, outraged. Her voice welled up out of the pit and set up more echoes in the cavern above, not that it mattered now. What with her scream and the witty conversation of three dwarves, all hope of surprising anyone was long since gone.

"Not did," Kori said again.

"I did, too!" Llewellyn replied. The discussing was not ascending to lofty heights.

"No," Kori disagreed. "Did ask Kalan. Not did ask Kori."

"I asked all of you!" Llewellyn yelled. "What are you doing here?"

"Resting," Kalan told her.

"Fell into pit trap," Kori explained.

Llewellyn snorted. "I thought dwarves were supposed to know all about that sort of thing," she said sneeringly. "Why didn't you realize it was a pit?"

"Did," Kevek told her.

"What?"

"Did realize it was pit."

She nodded. "Uh-huh. That's why you're all down here. Because you realized it was a pit."

"Wanted to know what was at bottom of pit," Kalan told her.

"Is rock," Kori added.

"Oh, thank you very much for that informative piece of...of...information," Llewellyn said. "I can see that it's rock. How long have you been down here?"

Kalan shrugged and looked at the others. "Two days?" he asked.

They nodded.

"Is good rock," Kori said.

Llewellyn snorted again and then reached into her pack for a grappling hook and rope. "Well, I'm not staying down here," she said. "Maybe if you're nice to me I'll let you use the rope to climb out."

"Dwarfs not need rope to climb rock," Kevek said dismissively.

"Oh, right," Llewellyn said. "That's why you're still down here after two days!" She swung the grappling hook around in a circle, swinging it high so that she didn't accidentally bury it in a dwarf head. After all, she didn't want to damage the hook.

After a moment, she let the hook fly. The rope snaked upward out of the pit, and the hook hit the stone floor of the cavern with a clang and then scraped its way along the rock before sliding back into the pit, causing Llewellyn to jump aside with a shriek.

Kori caught the hook just before it hit the ground and held it out to the half-elf. She snatched it from him with a glare.

"What will short elf do now?" the dwarf asked politely.

"Get away from you," she said, beginning her wind-up again.

"Not can," Kori assured her.

The hook fell to the ground as the rope went limp. "What?" she asked.

"Not can use hook to get out of pit."

"Why not?"

"Cavern above is dwarf made," he explained. "Floor is smooth. Not is place for hook to catch."

"Dwarf made," Llewellyn said. "I should have known. Well, if yyou don't mind, I'd rather tr again than not do anything."

Kori shrugged amiably, and Llewellyn, after another wind-up, tossed the hook. There was the same clang followed by the same sliding screech, but this time the hook didn't come tumbling back down into the pit like a missile of death. Llewellyn gave a tentative tug on the rope. It held. She pulled harder. It continued to hold. She gave Kori a smug smile of triumph and started to climb. The mouth of the pit was at least twenty feet above her, but the walls gave her feet enough purchase that she could climb rapidly.

Finally, her head appeared above the rim of the pit, and she found herself looking into the face of Kalan, who was standing two feet away and holding onto the grappling hook. Llewellyn was so surprised that she let go of the rope and started to tumble gracefully backwards. Fortunately, Kevek was standing near Kalan and was close enough to reach out and grab her. Unfortunately, he grabbed her by the hair.

A moment later, Llewellyn was standing at the edge of the pit, her eyes filled with tears, screaming.

"Did you have to grab me like that?"

"No," Kevek assured her. "Could have let short elf fall."

Even Llewellyn didn't have a response to that one.

"How did you get up here?" she asked in a subdued voice, turning to Kalan.

"Climbed walls of pit," he said. She turned to look back at the pit just in time to see Kori hauling himself up through the opening. Except that she couldn't see the opening. It actually appeared as if the dwarf's head was rising up out of the solid stone. Which seemed pretty appropriate, really.

"Nice," she said appreciatively. "Illusory floor. Not bad." She bent down to examine it carefully. It wasn't perfect, but illusions seldom were, and this was better than most. She hadn't been paying enough attention to catch it and had fallen through it, as had the dwarves. "Wait a minute," she snapped, rounding on Kalan again. "Do you mean that you could have climbed up that wall anytime you wanted?"

Kalan looked surprised. "Are dwarfs," he said.

"Fang Mountain dwarfs," Kori added.

"Could climb almost before could walk," Kevek put in.

"They why did you tell me you had been down there for two days?!"

"Because had been," Kalan said, as if it were the most obvious fact in the world.

"Why?!"

"Good stone," Kori said, repeating his earlier statement.

There was long moment of silence while Llewellyn waited for an actual explanation, and the dwarves, having delivered the explanation, simply waited.

"That's it?" Llewellyn yelped. "Good stone?"

"Worth looking at," Kalan told her. Having spent more time around elves in general and this one in particular than the others had, he knew that sometimes they had to have even the simplest things explained to them with great clarity.

Llewellyn stared at him, blinking rapidly. "Do you mean to tell me that you spent two days in the bottom of that pit on purpose to look at rock?"

Kalan nodded, looking at her in much the same way one might a favorite pet who had pulled off a difficult trick in front of company.

Kori and even Kevek nodded as well, the former making a small noise of appreciation.

"Never mind," Llewellyn said. "Just never mind."

She turned away from the three dwarves and looked around the cavern. It was large and filled with nothing but air. The moonlight filtering down through the opening was inadequate to let even her eyes see the far wall, and she knew that she was going to need some sort of light before she could proceed any deeper into the darkness. If the rumors were right, though, this would all be worthwhile.

Keeping one eye on her surroundings, she knelt and rummaged in her pack. A moment later she pulled out flint and tinder and, a moment after that, had set light to a lantern. She closed the shutter most of the way so that it gave it out far too little light for human eyes but enough for hers, then she resealed her pack, stood up and began to walk along the near wall, preferring the sense of shelter that it gave her.

The footsteps startled her. She whirled. The three dwarves were walking behind her, watching her expectantly.

"What are you doing?" she said in an agonized whisper.

Kori cocked his head at her. Kalan said, "What mean?"

"I mean what are you doing?!" Llewellyn was trying to yell without raising her voice above a whisper.

"Are walking," Kevek told her levelly.

"Well, walk somewhere else!"

"If walk somewhere else," Kalan told her patiently, "Not will end up where want to end up."

"I know where I'd like you to end up..." Llewellyn muttered.

The dwarves continued to stare patiently at her. It reminded her of the look she'd once seen on the face of a very large dog who had decided to follow her, and whom she had not been able to dissuade in any manner whatsoever. She'd had to put up with it until the dog had finally gotten bored and wandered off on its own. The thought disquieted her.

"Look, I'm going to go my way and you go your way, all right?" she asked in her most reasonable and patient voice.

"Hokay," Kalan agreed.

"Good." She turned away and started to walk forward. The dwarves followed. She whirled on them again.

"What are you doing?"

"Are going own way," Kalan told her.

"This is my way," she snapped. "Go some other way! Go any other way you like!"

"Short elf not own world," Kevek told her tartly.

"If I did," she retorted, "there wouldn't be any dwarves in it."

"Dwarfs," Kori corrected her helpfully.

"Shut up," she told him. She glared at all three of them. "Look, what I'm doing here is difficult enough--"

"What is short elf doing here?" Kevek asked.

"Shut up!" she replied. "What I'm doing here is difficult enough--"

"Then dwarfs could help short elf," Kalan offered.

"Why would dwarfs want to help short elf?" Kevek asked.

"Shut up!!" Llewellyn screeched. "What I'm doing here...no, never mind. Just go away, all right? Go away!" She turned and stalked away from them. An instant later, the footsteps followed her. She spun on her heels, looked at the dwarves, started to shriek in frustration and suddenly clapped a hand over her mouth, stopping herself in midwail, her eyes wide. Then her head darted from side to side, and she spun rapidly in a circle trying to look in every direction at once.

The dwarves looked up and around, listening to the dying strains of the scream which had filled the cavern, rebounding from and amplified by the walls, floor and ceiling.

"Good echoes," Kalan said. The other two dwarves nodded in appreciation and agreement. Llewellyn stared at them, her eyes growing even wider and her face red, then she took her hand carefully away from her mouth, and, keeping her lips clamped together, turned, and walked toward the far wall, ignoring the sound of dwarven footsteps dogging her heels.

As the far wall drew ever closer, Llewellyn could see an opening carved into the stone. For some reason, the light from her lantern didn't penetrate the darkness beyond the opening. She approached it carefully, her lantern held high and her body never in a direct line with the opening.

She came to a halt ten or fifteen feet away and stared. Behind her, she heard the sound of a throat being cleared followed by a grunt. She ignored it and continued to stare at the opening. It was merely an arch-shaped hole filled by velvety blackness that, for some reason, seemed to swallow the light from her lantern while stubbornly refusing to be illuminated.

The throat clearing noise was repeated, followed by an "Uh," followed by, "No, short elf said not did want help of dwarfs."

Llewellyn sighed deeply and, filled with the feeling that she was going to regret her action, turned to face the dwarves.

"What?" she said. They were staring at her, bright eyed and chipper, looking like a line of students who all want to be called on by the teacher because they are certain they know the answer. "What is it?"

"Not want to interfere with short elf," Kevek said primly.

"Fine," Llewellyn said, starting to turn back toward the opening.

"Uh..." Kori said.

Llewellyn turned back toward him. "Yes?"

He pointed at the door way. Kalan and Kevek were reaching around behind them for the battle-axes strapped to their backs.

Llewellyn's eyes got very wide and, as she turned back toward the opening, she also leaped. It was quite impressive, as she cleared all three dwarves and, by the time she was facing the opening, was standing behind them, crouched down so that her entire body was shielded.

The opening was unchanged.

All three dwarves turned to look at her, only now, because she was squatting down, she found herself face to face with them.

Kalan held out one hand in front of him, palm up. Kori and Kevek each put a coin in it and Kalan made the money disappear.

"What was that for?" Llewellyn asked suspiciously.

"Good jump," Kori said admiringly.

"Kalan said short elf could jump well if motivated," Kevek admitted grudgingly. "Was right."

Llewellyn slowly rose up to her full height and then seemed to expand, somehow, her face growing red and her whole body seeming to swell. She opened her mouth, but her emotions were running so high that nothing came out. After a long moment, she stalked past the dwarves and walked to the archway which she proceeded to study carefully.

The dwarves ranged themselves around her in a semi-circle, watching.

Light still failed to penetrate the archway. She could see the darkness beyond, she could guess that there was really a passageway of some sort cut into the stone, but that was all. She couldn't even begin to guess what might lay beyond the opening.

She started to reach out a hand toward the opening, then she stopped and pulled it back. She thought a moment and then pulled a long metal tool out of a belt pouch, started to reach out with that and then stopped again. With a slight smile, she turned and looked at the dwarves, who were still staring at her with polite attention. She was beginning to feel like a zoo exhibit.

"Say," she said winningly. "Do you happen to know anything about this door here?" She gestured negligently at the opening.

All three dwarves shook their heads.

"Not do," Kori volunteered.

"You know, I have a little idea..." Llewellyn beamed on her companions, then she pointed at Kori. She had an idea that he was a little younger than the other two, which probably meant that he was a little more gullible. "Would you like to help me out?"

Kori shrugged. "Hokay," he said. "What want?"

"Nothing much," she told him, waving one hand in random patterns. "Just uh...head right on through there, would you?"

Kori shrugged, walked to the archway, looked at it for a second and then walked through.

The darkness seemed so solid that Llewellyn had half expected the dwarf to bounce off of it, but he didn't. He passed through, each part of him disappearing as it was swallowed by the darkness.

Llewellyn, Kalan and Kevek all stared at the archway for a long moment while absolutely nothing happened, then the two remaining dwarves looked at each other and walked through after

Kori.

Llewellyn stood there for several moments longer, listening for screams, the sound of dwarves being dismemjbered or any other noise that might indicated unpleasantness on the other side of the great divide, and then she sighed heavily, closed her eyes and stepped forward. After all, if she was going to get what she had come for, she had no choice but to press on.

On the other side of the archway was another cavern. What a surprise. Unfortunately, all three dwarves were also there, staring at her.

"What?" she said irritably.

Kori pointed behind her. She glanced over her shoulder. There was no archway. The wall behind her was solid stone. Her eyes widened - they were doing that a lot lately - and her mouth was just starting to do the same when the whisper echoed through the darkness, a frightening susurration. Llewellyn spun back to face the dwarves again. The bulk of the cavern was in

darkness, pitch black. Llewellyn's head darted wildly from side to side.

"Where did that come from?" she asked, confused by the echoes.

All three dwarves instantly pointed in the same direction.

Then the voice spoke.

"I'm so glad you finally made it," it said.

It was a quiet voice, seeming to Llewellyn to come from everywhere and nowhere. It echoed through the cavern, the reverberations somehow making it sound more menacing.

"I'm busy preparing things for you," the voice continued, "So I can't be there to greet you in person. That's why I have left you this little message. I know you're coming. Be ready."

A chill wind blew through the cavern and the flame in Llewellyn's lantern died. She yelped and then, suddenly, her feet were swept out from underneath her. She fell forward, the lantern flying from her hand to break against the stone floor. She could smell the oil which spilled from the remains. She managed to get her hands in front of her so that they took the brunt of the impact instead of her face, and she started to push herself back to her feet when a weight fell across her shoulders and head and her nose met the floor after all. She started to kick her legs, and another weight fell across them. An instant later a third weight fell across her midsection, and she was pinned, unable even to flail her arms uselessly.

As all of this was happening, she heard a strange sound, a quick wind followed by a number of sharp pings.

"Get off of me!" she yelled, the number of weights having finally connected with the number of dwarves in her mind.

The dwarves climbed off of her.

Llewellyn dug in one of her belt pouches and pulled out a small sack. When she opened this, light flowed out of it. She reached in and took out a small stone. It provided a soft and gentle glow that, while not the best thing for illuminating one's surroundings, was at least better than nothing.

Sitting on the floor, in the gentle light of the glowing stone, she glared at the three dwarves.

"What did you think you were doing?!" she yelped.

"Saving life," Kevek told her grimly. "Kevek not sure why." Kalan nodded and Kori pointed behind her again.

Llewellyn turned and peered back over her shoulder. Several small, irregularly shaped pieces of metal were sticking out of the stone wall behind her, as if the had been propelled there by a great force. They sketched a line across the wall, and, had she been standing, that line would have bisected her body quite nicely. She turned back to look at the dwarves, her face white.

She knew that the dwarven tunnel sense – something akin to vision but not really was the best description she'd ever gotten - was not hindered as her eyes were by absolute darkness. The dwarves had seen what was happening and saved her. That was embarrassing. She mumbled something that might have been 'thank you,' or possibly 'thagoo' or perhaps even 'dadoo,' but it seemed to satisfy the dwarves.

Then the voice swept through the cavern once again.

"Don't worry," it said quietly, amused at its own cleverness. "The toxin coating the flechettes will not kill you, it will merely...take the edge off of what passes for your intellect. I believe in obtaining every advantage."

"Right," Llewellyn said calmly, then she turned to face the wall. "Time to go. Where's the door?" She began to examine the wall, at first with great care and then with increasing speed and jerkiness of movement. "Where's the door? Where'sthedoorwhere'sthedoorwhere'sthedoor...?"

The dwarves watched her curiously.

"What is short elf doing?" Kevek asked. The look on his face seemed to indicate that his worst fears had been confirmed.

"Looking for door back to previous cavern," Kalan told him.

"No is door," Kevek said.

Kalan nodded. "No is," he agreed.

Llewellyn was examining the wall with hands and eyes, her movements growing steadily more frantic while her mouth, apparently running on automatic, continued to repeat "Where'sthedoorwhere'sthedoorwhere'sthedoor...?"

"Elfs not have to breathe?" Kori asked after a moment.

Kalan and Kevek both shrugged.

After several more moments, Kori walked up behind Llewellyn and cleared his throat. She shrieked, jumped, pirouetted in mid-air and came down with her back to the wall, gasping for breath.

"No is door," Kori told her.

"What?!"

"No is door," he repeated, this time speaking slowly and pronouncing each word with exaggerated distinctness.

"I can see that there's no door!" she snapped. "Why isn't there a door?"

Kori shrugged. "Because not is," he offered philosophically.

She pointed into the depths of the cavern. The glowstone did little to dispel the darkness, so she had no idea what that darkness concealed, except, of course, some apparently vengeful lunatic intent on wreaking some hideous punishment on her for some imagined offense of which she was no doubt utterly innocent. She hadn't even been there. And, if she had, it was all probably some laughable misunderstanding, but was, in any case, absolutely and definitely not her fault, and, anyway, he should just get over it. Life brings us these little difficulties to improve us, so, if she had done anything to this guy, whoever he was, which she hadn't - a fact which couldn't be stressed enough - then she had been doing him a favor anyway, so he should be thanking her instead of doing whatever it was that he intended to do, which was something that she didn't want to think about anyway.

Kori would have liked to have waved a hand in front of her face, but he couldn't reach that high, so he settled for clearing his throat again.

"What?" Llewellyn asked.

"No is door," he told her patiently.

She frowned at him. "I can see that," she snapped. "I can see that there's not a door. You don't have to keep telling me that."

"Hokay," Kori said.

"Finally," Kevek said happily. "Can move on."

"Oh, no," Llewellyn said. She pointed into the darkness and said, "I'm not going in there."

"Hokay," Kevek said.

"Okay is right," Llewellyn agreed.

The three dwarves headed into the cavern.

"Hey!" Llewellyn called.

"What want?" Kevek asked.

"Don't you want to...uh...stay here and..."

"No."

The dwarves had continued to walk and were already out of the circle of light cast by the glowstone, though Llewellyn could still hear them, dwarves not being known for being light on their feet.

In the company of dwarves or alone in the dark in a cavern with a lunatic waiting for her. Well, well, it turned out there were worse things than being stuck with dwarves after all. Who would have thought? It only took her a few seconds to catch up with them.

They walked through a large, dark cavern. The echoes unnerved Llewellyn slightly, not that this was hard task at the present moment.

"Do you even know where we're going?" she asked irritably, more to hear a voice than in any hope of obtaining any actual information.

"To tunnels," Kalan said, pointing with his head.

Llewellyn peered into the darkness, but all she saw as more darkness. She had the eerie feeling that creatures were skittering through the shadows, just beyond the limit of her vision, but she couldn't hear anything, so it had to be her imagination. She was going to keep telling herself that, anyway.

It only took them a few more minutes, and then the tunnels were within the patch of illumination cast by Llewellyn's glow stone. There were four of them, the openings neat and regular, all of them leading off into more darkness. This darkness was really beginning to get annoying.

Sitting next to the wall was a wooden box. Llewellyn went over to look at it.

"Ah, here at last," the voice said. Llewellyn jumped and squawked at the sudden sound. "At least you made it this far." The voice laughed. "Now you have to make a choice. There are four tunnels in front of you. All of them lead to torments that are hideous and cruel. One of them leads to a fate slightly less hideous than the other three."

"Lovely," Llewellyn said bitterly.

"Just to help you," the voice continued, "That one slopes upward at an angle of exactly three degrees. All you have to do is identify it." The voice laughed again. Its laugh was really annoying. More annoying than the darkness, even. "So, you have four choices."

"Or I could not choose any of them," Llewellyn uttered.

"Or," the voice continued. "You could not choose any of them."

"Smart a--" Llewellyn began, but the voice continued, cutting her off.

"Of course, in that case you will merely stay where you are until you starve to death, which, while perhaps not a hideous fate, would still be pretty bad." There was a pause. "No, I think we can still call that hideous. That means that all of your choices are still hideous. Hah!"

Llewellyn made a growling sound deep in her throat.

"However," the voice continued, "I am not cruel, so I have included some tools to help you select that tunnel that will lead you to your fate. In that box against the wall you will find a vial of pure water, a vial of salt water, a vial of oil, a coil of rope, some meetal wire and three spheres of varying sizes. With these, and a little intelligence, you should be able to determine which tunnel slopes upward at precisely the right angle. Have a good time!"

Llewellyn made the growling noise again, put her back against the wall and slid down it until she was resting on the floor staring at her feet. After a moment, she looked up at the dwarves.

"You know about tunnels," she said.

The dwarves nodded and made individual noises of assent.

"Can you figure out which tunnel--"

She never finished the sentence. All three dwarves simultaneously pointed to one opening. Llewellyn blinked at them. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Are dwarfs," Kevek told her, outraged.

Llewellyn patted the air gently with her hands. "Fine," she said. "Let's go."

The tunnel proved to be relatively short, and it led to another chamber which had a door in it. It appeared to be a normal wooden door such as you might find in a building, and it was a little startling to Llewellyn to see it set into the stone wall of the cavern. She grinned and moved closer to it, then she stopped and looked at Kalan.

"Is this floor solid?" she asked.

All three dwarves immediately laid down and rested an ear against the stone.

"What are you doing?"

"Shhh!" they said.

Llewellyn waited, impatiently tapping one foot on the floor until Kevek glared at her and then glared at her foot.

"Solid," Kalan said.

A few seconds later, Kevek agreed with him.

A few seconds after that, Kori added his agreement.

"Good," Llewellyn said. She started to walk closer to the door and then stopped again. "Are you sure?"

"Are," Kalan assured her.

"How do you know?"

"Stone said so."

Llewellyn looked at him for a long moment and then shook her head. "The stone said so," she muttered, then shook her head again. Either she was going to accept the pronouncement or she wasn't, and she had to admit that when it came to rocks, dwarves knew what they were talking about. Not that she would admit that out loud, of course.

She knelt in front of the door and looked at it. It was a door. She could see the lock. It looked like a lock. She didn't trust it for a second.

"I wish there was a little more light," she said quietly. The glowstone was useful only when there was nothing better to use. It was not ideal for detail work, and she wanted to study this door in great detail.

She heard noises behind her, but she tuned them out as she examined the door, starting at the lock and working her way up, down and to both sides. Something just didn't feel quite right, and she had learned to trust that instinct. It was often wrong, but she figured that she should trust it anyway. It was all she had.

"Light," a voice said loudly in her ear.

She screamed and jumped, whirling around to find herself staring at Kori.

"What?" she asked.

"Light," he repeated.

He was holding a three foot long piece of rope. He laid it on the floor and drizzled oil from the vial which he had fetched from the box at the mouth of the tunnel on the last foot of it and then used flint and tinder to strike a spark and set it alight. It burned brightly.

Llewellyn nodded at him and held the rope up in front of the door, examining it again. Now she could see clearly what she had not quite seen earlier. There was a square of very fine lines scored into the wood at the side opposite the lock. She touched it gently and then set the rope down and pulled out a long, thin bladed knife. The managed to work the knife into one of the lines and pried gently. A small square panel of wood eventually popped out, revealing another lock hidden behind it. Llewellyn smiled.

"Not bad," she said admiringly. "Not bad at all." She put the knife away and pulled out a long, thin piece of metal. "Not quite good enough, however."

"What is short elf doing?" Kevek asked.

"Unlocking door," Kalan told him.

"Kevek could unlock door faster," Kevek snapped.

"I'd like to see that!" Llewellyn sneered.

"Hokay," Kevek told her, pulling his battle axe off of his back and walking toward the door.

"Don't you dare!" Llewellyn snapped with enough vehemence to stop the dwarf in his tracks. "This is mine. This lunatic is after me, and I'm going to beat him my way. Besides, I will not use brute force to open a door! Any moron could do that!"

She returned her attention to the lock, and Kevek looked at Kalan again.

"Is always this way," Kalan confirmed.

Kevek sighed. "Elfs," he said.

"Thiefs," Kalan amplified.

Llewellyn glared at him. "Get this through your skull and don't forget it, bone brain. I am not a thief! Do you understand? I am not a thief. Thieves do illegal things and can be arrested. Not me. I never do anything illegal, not under any circumstances. All right?"

There was a long moment of silence, and then Kori said, "Not is thief."

That seemed to satisfy Llewellyn who returned her attention to the lock.

Kori was busy watching her. She stood for several moments holding the lock pick but not even touching the lock with it.

"What wait for?" he asked, quietly. Well, quietly for a dwarf.

"Never touch without looking," Llewellyn said. "This guy is bound to have some unpleasant surprise waiting for anyone who does the wrong thing. Like in that lock over there." She tilted her head at the openly displayed lock.

Kori cleared his throat just as Llewellyn was about to insert her lockpick into the second lock.

"What?" she said irritably, the lockpick hovering in midair.

"What if person who made door put tricks on hidden lock instead of on openly displayed lock?"

Kalan and Kevek applauded quietly.

Llewellyn shot Kori a sidelong glance. "Which one of us is the professional here?" she asked.

He cleared his throat. "Neither," he said.

Llewellyn bristled. "What do you mean?" she growled.

"Well," he said. "Short elf not is thief. Kori not is thief."

"Uh...right," Llewellyn said. "But I still have a lot of experience in these matters."

"How did get experience if not is thief?" Kori asked curiously.

Llewellyn opened her mouth and then closed it again. Then she turned back to the lock. "I've already considered the possibility of the hidden lock being trapped and checked it out," she said.

Kalan and Kevek applauded quietly again.

Llewellyn inserted the lockpick into the lock and moved it by feel and by sound. Nothing happened. Time passed, and nothing continued to happen.

"You're good," Llewellyn muttered, still working in the lock. "It's a five point pressure lock."

"Who does short elf talk to?" Kevek whispered to Kalan. Being a dwarven whisper, it carried quite clearly, but Llewellyn gave no sign of having heard him.

"Person who made lock," Kalan said, shrugging. "Kalan has seen this before."

"Person who made lock not is here," Kevek said.

"Kalan knows."

After another moment of nothing happening, Kori cleared this throat again.

"Do you mind?" Llewellyn snapped at him. "I'm trying to concentrate here."

"What if first lock opens door and second lock does nothing?"

Kalan and Kevek applauded again, a little more loudly this time.

Llewellyn continued to work at the lock. "This is a five point pressure lock," she told the dwarf. "It's one of the most expensive and difficult locks made, but the feel of it tells me that it works a latch."

"Short elf does know a lot about locks for person who not is thief," Kori said in an admiring tone.

Llewellyn stopped work and glared at Kalan. "Does this belong to you?" she asked, indicating Kori with her head.

Kalan look puzzled.

"Because if it does, I'd appreciate it if you'd take it away so that I can concentrate!" She glared first at Kalan and then at Kori. Then, apparently deciding to make a clean job of it, glared at Kevek just for good measure. Then she returned to the lock.

It took ninety more seconds and the addition of a second tool before the latch snapped open with an audible click. Llewellyn pulled the picks out of the lock and skipped several feet backward and stared at the door.

"What wait for?" Kevek asked after a moment.

"If I knew that, maybe I wouldn't have to wait," Llewellyn told him tartly.

"Nothing happens!" Kevek protested.

"That's the way I like it," Llewellyn snapped. "In my line of work, something happening is usually bad."

"What is short elf's line of work?" Kevek asked.

"Not is thief," Kori reminded him.

"Shut up," Llewellyn suggested to both of them. She waited a moment longer and then smiled at Kori. It was a dazzling smile, full of charm and personality. Seeing it made Kalan take two steps backward.

"Say," she said. "You're interested in all of this, aren't you?"

Kori nodded. "Am," he agreed.

"How'd you like to get some hands on experience?"

Kori cocked his head at her. "Hokay," he said. "What want Kori to do?"

"Open the door." She said it in a very offhand manner.

Kori, with no hesitation, shrugged, opened the door partway, looked through it, closed it and then looked at Llewellyn, who had been unable to see what the door concealed.

"Well?" she asked irritably.

He shook his head. "Kori not has seen door do that before," he said. He turned to the other dwarves. "It is to look," he suggested.

Kalan walked over, opened the door part way, looked through it, closed it and then looked at Kori. "Kalan not has seen door do that before," he agreed. He glanced at Kevek, who repeated the performance, then the three dwarves stood and looked at each other, blinking.

"Strange door," Kevek said.

The other two dwarves nodded.

Llewellyn was fairly dancing with impatience, but since all three dwarves had looked through the door and nothing had reached out and ripped their heads off or sliced them open or poisoned them or done anything else to make the world a safer place for all right thinking people, she opened the door herself.

It didn't lead anywhere. On the other side of the door was a blank stone wall. She had spent all that time and energy to open a door that led to a blank stone wall. Who puts a five point pressure lock on a door that doesn't go anywhere? A hidden five point pressure lock at that! With a scream of frustration, she slammed the door. The thud echoed through the cavern and was followed almost immediately by a heavy grinding noise, and Llewellyn skipped away from the door, looking in all directions.

The movement was fast. The door had been in a corner, and a slab of the wall at right angles to the door smashed into the floor with a thunderous booming sound. Had Llewellyn been standing in front of the door, it would unquestionably have pulverized her.

She spun rapidly in a circle, checking for more movement and then halted, her breath coming in quick gasps. The three dwarves were standing nearby, looking at the stone slab. Llewellyn's mouth opened slowly, very slowly, and then the words began to flow. She was only really conversant with two languages, but she knew curses in at least a dozen, and she was using them all. Words were gushing out of her in a molten multicultural torrent.

Kori stared at her, his mouth gaping.

Kevek shook his head. Dwarvish, with its many consonants and gutturals, was a very satisfying language to curse in, and Llewellyn was making use of some of the most vitriolic words the tongue possessed, though her accent was barbarous.

She was so worked up that she began to get the languages confused, with words mating and producing unintelligible children, but this didn't even slow her down. Kori continued to gape in appalled astonishment, and Kevek and Kalan watched until Llewellyn began to run down, then Kevek cleared his throat to get her attention. She whirled, her eyes boring into him.

"What?!" she snapped.

"Is short elf finished?" he asked.

"Finished?!" she squawked. "I nearly was! Do you see that stone? He was trying to kill me!"

The voice chose that moment to return.

"You may think," it said, "That I was trying to kill you."

"If you weren't trying, I'd hate to see it when you were!" Llewellyn snapped.

"That is not, however, the case," the voice continued. "I was counting on your skill to preserve your life." The voice paused. "Of course, you may be dead right now, and this message may be playing to no one. Still, if you were killed, it was your own fault. You should have gotten out of the way."

Llewellyn spluttered indignantly, but no words came out, which was probably just as well for Kori's sake.

"I hope that you weren't killed. That would take most of the fun out of it for me." There was another pause. "Well, for you, too, I imagine. And I also hope that you weren't just partially caught under the stone. Ooh. I wish I hadn't thought of that! Oh, yuck! That's disgusting! I wish I hadn't thought of that! Ugh!" There was yet another pause. "You know, I'm not a cruel

man. I hate to think of you lying there all...ugh...so, to do you a favor, I'll send something along to kill you. I'll think of something after I finish this message. Maybe a nice ravenous beast. Or I could fill the room with acid. I don't know, something. Oh. Um...if you're not dead, you might want to find the exit out of that room quickly. Bye, now!"

Llewellyn squawked again and began to turn in a quick circle, her eyes seeking out every corner of the room.

The dwarves were examining the stone slab.

"Well made," Kori said.

Kalan shook his head. "Not is," he said.

"Stone was smooth and fit wall with no visible seam," Kori argued.

"Not did," Kevek disputed. "Seam was visible."

"Was," Kalan agreed.

"And made too much noise before falling," Kevek added. "Short elf had plenty of time to get out of way."

"Wait a minute!" Llewellyn yelped. "What do you mean the seam was visible?! I didn't see any seam in that wall, and I looked."

"With eyes of elf!" Kevek retorted.

"But you saw it?"

"Did."

"Then why didn't you tell me?!" Llewellyn screamed. "I could have been killed!"

"Not did ask!" Kevek argued. "And short elf not did want dwarfs to speak. Told dwarfs to shut up."

Llewellyn started to scream and then said, "No, I don't have time for this!" She examined the wall behind where the slab had been, and it only took her a moment to find the catch. A section of the wall slid open. Llewellyn was about to step through it and then stopped and looked back at the dwarves. Her eyes slid from Kevek to Kalan, and then she said to Kori, "Here. You go first."

Kori, feeling flattered, smiled, nodded and stepped through the opening. Llewellyn looked at the other two dwarves. They followed Kori, and then Llewellyn followed them. The door slipped quietly shut behind them.

They found themselves in a long tunnel shrouded in darkness. The dwarves were unhampered, but Llewellyn had only the faint light of the glowstone. Fortunately, the floor was smooth and level and the walls straight. The only puzzling thing was the noise. It was as if someone was beating on the other side of the lefthand wall at irregular intervals. Llewellyn couldn't make any sense of it, and that made her nervous. More nervous. The voice chose that moment to return.

"Excellent! If you're hearing this message, you must still be alive!" The voice made a sound of disgust. "That was fatuous. I'm going to have to go back and change that. Let me start over." There was a pause. "Excellent! The closing of the door, which is what triggered the delivery of the message, indicates that you survived the last challenge. I'm delighted! I truly am."

"How nice for you," Llewellyn muttered. As they walked farther down the tunnel, the strange noise was getting louder.

"The challenges that you have faced so far have tested your powers of observation, your intelligence and your skill. This next one...well, this next one is just mean. Don't get squashed by the wall behind you, okay?"

At that moment a steady grinding sound started up behind the quartet. Llewellyn moaned softly. "Is that what I think it is?" she asked.

All three dwarves stopped and were looking into the darkness from which they had come.

"Not know," Kalan said. "What does short elf think is?"

Llewellyn's reply was inarticulate but none the less eloquent. She began to hurry down the tunnel. After a moment, the dwarves followed her.

"Short elf not want answer to question?" Kori called after her.

"Shut up!" Llewellyn suggested.

"What for does short elf always tell dwarfs to shut up?" Kevek wanted to know. "Dwarfs have as much right as short elf to speak."

Llewellyn's suggestion for Kevek was anatomically improbable, and he decided that it hadn't been meant seriously.

"What does short elf think noise is?" Kalan asked as the dwarves caught up with her.

Llewellyn's suggestion to Kalan required only two words.

Kalan's eyebrows rose, and he said, "Kalan not like short elf in that way."

"Kevek not like short elf at all," Kevek offered.

Llewellyn halted suddenly, as did the dwarves. They had reached the end of the tunnel. The pounding noise was now very loud, as was the grinding sound which had followed them down the tunnel. The glowstone revealed an opening to the left, and someone was throwing rocks through it. The rocks ranged pea-sized to the size of an adult human's head, and they were thrown with enough force that the larger ones shattered when they hit the wall. They came at irregular intervals and at irregular heights.

Llewellyn moaned. The pounding sound she was hearing was obviously such rocks being sprayed against the entire wall of the room. The room, needless to say, was in pitch darkness. Behind them, the grinding was getting louder. Llewellyn looked back. She couldn't actually see the wall which was pursuing them, but she was imagining that she could, and she didn't like the sight.

Kalan glanced at Kevek and Kori. "It is to see if can find way to stop rocks or find exit. Kalan will keep short elf alive."

"Why?" Kevek asked.

Kalan shrugged. "Kalan and short elf have mutual friends who would be upset by short elf's

death."

Kevek and Kori nodded and darted through the opening and into the room beyond.

"It is to come," Kalan said to Llewellyn.

"But..."

Kalan shook his head and stepped through the opening. With a moan, Llewellyn followed him. A rock grazed her cheek, leaving a bloody scrape behind, and she quickly crouched behind Kalan.

The rocks came streaking out of the darkness to the left, to the right, over their heads and sometimes straight at them. The faint circle of light provided by the glowstone would not have given Llewellyn enough time to see the missiles and dodge them, but the pitch darkness of an underground cavern was home to Kalan.

He used the blade of a hand axe to deflect the smaller stones and ignored those that came to either side or over his head. He shouted for Llewellyn to hit the floor or move left or right as needed when a rock too large to deflect came toward them. They came rapidly, and Kalan took his share of hits, some of them leaving bloody streaks or bruises behind, but he wasn't seriously injured, and neither was Llewellyn.

Behind them, Llewellyn heard the sound of the moving wall finally reaching the end of the tunnel. It hit with an echoing boom that made her jump. The jump almost got her conked in the head by a stone.

"Hokay," Kalan said suddenly.

"What?" Llewellyn, still crouching behind asked.

"Time to go. Kevek and Kori not can stop stones but have found exit."

"How do you know?" Llewellyn asked.

"Said so."

"I didn't hear anything."

"Kalan heard, Kalan felt in stone underfoot. Time to go. It is to follow Kalan, stay low and listen to instructions."

"Right," Llewellyn said, not happily and not confidently, but what choice did she have?

It was a nightmare. She ran as quickly as she could while squatting behind Kalan and trying to stay in his shadow. She didn't entirely make it, as he weaved and dodged oncoming rocks, but she came close, and they made it to the far wall without either of them getting more than grazed.

By that time, her legs were cramping, and she was sweating. There was an opening, and they went through it into a small room which was comfortably furnished.

Llewellyn looked around in disbelief. The walls were hung with tapestries, there was a thick rug on the floor and several comfortable looking chairs scattered around the room. In the far wall was a door. Several lanterns and candles scattered around provided ample light. She walked to one of the chairs and collapsed into it as her legs gave way.

"Ah," said the voice out of thin air. "Well done!" It sounded genuinely pleased. "I wasn't certain that you would make it through the last room without getting either brained or crippled. I realize that one was a little unfair, so I thought I'd give you a reward for surviving it. There are no tricks in this room, it is simply a place for you to rest, catch your breath and tend your injuries. I provide you with no food or drink, for, if you brought none with you, you are a fool and deserve to suffer the pangs of thirst and hunger. When you're ready, just walk through the door in the far wall. Enjoy your rest. Things get difficult beyond this point." This was followed by a laugh that

Llewellyn didn't care for at all. Then, the voice continued, but not as if it were talking to them.

"I don't know, Binky, do you think that message was a waste of time? Perhaps I'm being a little too nice." The voice laughed. "But you like it when daddy-waddy is nice, doesn't oo? Who's a cutey-wutsey puddy pie? You are! That's right, you are!"

"Oh, that's disgusting," Llewellyn said.

The voice continued unabated. "Does-ums want oo treat? Yes oo do. Yes oo do. Come come and daddy will get oo oo's treatsies." This was followed by the sound of footsteps accompanied by some sort of snuffling sound. The noises faded into the distance.

"I'm think I'm going to be sick," Llewellyn groaned.

The dwarves were looking around the room with distaste and shaking their heads.

"What is it?" Llewellyn asked irritably.

"What for cover up nice stone walls?" Kevek asked.

Llewellyn merely grunted in reply and then shook her head. She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them again she screamed and jumped in her seat. Kalan had walked up and was staring at her, his face only inches from her own.

"What are you doing?" she shrieked, one hand on her chest.

"Thinking," he told her.

"Don't hurt yourself!" she snapped. He continued to stare at her, and something in his gaze made her very uncomfortable. "What?"

"Why is short elf here?" he asked.

She looked suddenly nervous. A request for any sort of actual information tended to do that to her, since she operated on the principle that what other people didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Why is short elf in cavern," he explained. "What is doing here?"

She cleared her throat and looked anywhere except at his eyes. "Just...you know...look, would you mind backing up a little?"

Kalan cocked his head at her and stepped back, but he continued to stare at her. After a moment, her eyes finally encountered his again, and again she asked, "What?"

"What is short elf doing here?"

"Resting," she said. "See?" She settled back into the chair, but he shook his head.

"Why is short elf in cavern?"

By this time, the other two dwarves had moved to Kalan's side and were also staring at her.

"Dwarfs have helped short elf," Kevek pointed out. "So far..."

Llewellyn eyed the triumvirate nervously. "I'm just...exploring..." she said. "That's all. Why?"

"What caused short elf to explore?" Kalan persisted.

Llewellyn sighed. She didn't actually <i>need</i> the dwarves, of course - no one really needed dwarves, after all - but she had to admit that they had been handy to have around in the short term. While she could get along perfectly well without them, it might be useful if they continued to accompany her. Given that, it might be prudent to give them a little bit of information.

"I'm just following rumors, that's all."

"What is rumor?"

Llewellyn blinked at Kevek, who had asked the question. "Um...a rumor is...um...something that you hear that might or might not--"

Kevek clicked his tongue impatiently. "Kevek knows what rumor is. Want know what is rumor?"

Llewellyn sighed again. She hated talking with dwarves. It was such a strain to think down to their level. "There has been a rumor floating around Farfell Down about a treasure hidden in this cavern. It was supposed to be hidden behind a series of locks so well made that it was impossible to open them."

"What is treasure?" Kori asked.

Llewellyn looked genuinely surprised. "I don't know," she said.

"Short elf went after treasure without knowing what treasure is?" Kevek asked incredulously.

"I don't really care about the treasure!" Llewellyn told him.

"If not want treasure," he replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "Then what for is short elf in cavern."

"Locks," Kalan said. Circumstances had thrown him into Llewellyn's company many times in the past, and there were certain fundamental aspects of her character that he understood. Well, no, that wasn't right. There were fundamental aspects of her character of which he was aware. To say that he actually understood anything about her would be going too far.

Llewellyn nodded. "Locks," she said. She looked smug. "There's no such think as a lock that can't be picked, and I'm going to prove it."

"Who will know?" Kevek asked.

Llewellyn looked at him in disgust. "What does that have to do with anything?" she asked. "The practice of art for its own sake is the highest development of talent."

"But--" Kevek said.

"No," Kalan told him.

"But--" Kevek said again.

"Is short elf," Kalan told him.

"Still," he said. "Reasons not make sense."

"My reasons don't make sense?" Llewellyn told him. "You're just here to look at rock!"

"Would be good reason," Kevek said, "But not am."

"Then what are you here for?"

"To check map."

There was a very long moment of silence, and then Llewellyn said, very carefully, "You have a map to this place?"

"No," Kevek told her.

Llewellyn ground her teeth together. It wasn't just Kalan. All dwarves really were like that.

"Have seen map," Kori told her helpfully.

"But you didn't bring it with you."

"Dwarf maps are carved into stone," Kalan explained.

"Stone is heavy," Kori explained further.

Llewellyn rolled her eyes upward and then said, "Couldn't you have made a copy on parchment."

"Yes," Kalan said.

There was a long moment of silence, then Llewellyn said, "But you didn't."

"Not did."

Llewellyn sighed audibly. "Why do I bother?" she asked.

"Not know. Why?"

"How did you get hold of a map of this cavern in the first place? If I could have gotten one..."

"Could have," Kevek told her.

"Cavern was made by dwarfs," Kalan reminded her. "Dwarfs left area long time ago, but in Fang Mountain is map of cavern."

"Someone has changed some tunnels and chambers," Kori said.

"Badly," Kalan amplified.

"Probably has elf blood," Kevek said.

"Do you remember any of the map?" Llewellyn asked in desperation.

"Do," the dwarves assured her.

"Do you remember anything useful?"

"Do," the dwarves repeated.

After another long moment, during which it became clear that the dwarves considered that a sufficient answer to her question, Llewellyn yelled, "Like what?!"

They thought for a moment, and then Kori said, "Secret door." The other two patted him on the back.

"What secret door?" Llewellyn asked ominously.

They heard the distant echo of approaching footsteps. Llewellyn jumped and looked warily around. The footsteps were accompanied by a distracted humming which was also growing louder. Suddenly, the humming burst and became something that was supposed to be singing but wasn't even a reasonable facsimile thereof. The singing ended abruptly and was followed by a burst of profanity which was abruptly cut off by a sharp clicking sound.

Llewellyn grinned. "I suppose he finally realized that he hadn't deactivated it," she said.

"Secret door out of room," Kori said.

Llewellyn looked around, but the tapestries covered the walls completely. "Where?" she asked.

Kori led her to one section of wall, pulled down a tapestry and examined a completely featureless section of wall. Then he pressed on four spots simultaneously and an opening appeared as what looked like solid stone slid silently aside. Llewellyn looked at the dark opening and then down at

Kori.

"Good door," Kori told her.

"Dwarf made," Kevek said.

"No visible seam," Kalan added.

"Swell," Llewellyn told them. "You go first." She didn't know where the tunnel led, but maybe the lunatic who had set all this up and then lured her into it didn't know about the tunnel either. That would be good.

The dwarves didn't appear uncertain at all. They set off down the tunnel at a rapid pace, and Llewellyn was hard pressed to keep up. The tunnel finally opened up into a large circular chamber with over a dozen openings to other tunnels. The dwarves looked around them happily, apparently very pleased about something.

Kori looked at Llewellyn and grinned. "Are here!" he said.

"Lovely," she told him. "Wait a minute. This is why you came? To get to this room?"

"Did," Kori told her. "Have to settle important dispute."

"What dispute?" she asked suspiciously.

"About which tunnel leads to main hall fastest," Kalan explained. "Dwarfs disagree after looking at map, so it is to have race."

"That's why you're here?" Llewellyn asked incredulously. "For a race!"

"Not expect elf to understand," Kevek said dismissively. "Elfs not care about important things."

Kori pointed at one tunnel to the left. "Elf tunnel," he told Llewellyn.

"What?"

The three dwarves looked at each other.

"Axehead!" Kalan yelled.

Llewellyn winced at the echoes.

"Boots!" Kevek cried.

Llewellyn put her hands over her ears.

"Kari stone!" Kori bellowed.

Llewellyn scrinched her eyes shut and began to hunch over.

Their bets made, the three dwarves touched clenched fists and then shouted, "Ehk, hal, do, vekt! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Llewellyn doubled over and fell to the floor trying to shove her fists in her ears to block out the torrent of sound that washed over her. She couldn't hear the sound of pounding feet through the yells, but all of the noise gradually faded as the dwarves raced down their chosen tunnels. After a moment of silence, Llewellyn uncurled and looked around. She was alone. She stood up.

Then she shook her head, took a good grip on the glowstone and headed for the tunnel that Kori had pointed out to her.

The tunnel was level and smooth. If only she had known it, it was an insult. It was called an elf tunnel because it had been made for the use of those too clumsy to use the other tunnels. There were no branches, almost no turnings and no side tunnels. It was easy walk from one end of the tunnel to the other, and the far end opened into a small chamber which had only one other exit, and there was a large arrow carved into the stone pointing to the other exit. Above the door were large symbols carved into the stone. Though Llewellyn couldn't read them, the runes, roughly translated, said, "Door here."

Llewellyn stepped through the opening and found herself in a large, furnished chamber. There was, among other things, a very comfortable looking chair, and table holding a large globe of clear crystal, and a completely unfamiliar looking man. The man was looking at her in astonishment.

"Who are you?" he asked.

Llewellyn glared at him. "You've been tormenting me all night, and now you're going to pretend that you don't know who I am?" She was puzzled, because she didn't have the slightest idea who he was, either.

"You're the thief?" he asked, surprised.

"I am not a thief!" she snapped.

"Oh, very well," the man snapped back. "Some of you people are so temperamental! You're the person who's been taking my little tests?"

"Little tests!" Llewellyn raged. "I might have been killed!"

"But you weren't," the man pointed out. "And you've cheated. I don't know how you got here, but you clearly didn't go through the entire maze. Now I'll have to start all over."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry your little plan of revenge didn't work out." She frowned. "But...why were you out to get me?"

The man waved a hand tiredly. "I wasn't."

"What? But...the rumors...they weren't planted just to draw me in?"

The man sighed. Apparently he was going to have to provide tedious explanations whether he wanted to or not. "Yes, they were," he said. "But I didn't want you."

Llewellyn shook her head. First dwarves, now this. "Look," she said. "Just pretend you're sane for a minute and try to make sense."

The man sighed again. "It's really very simple," he said. "I created this maze to torment someone. He is very capable, and I felt that, before I tried it out on him, I should try it out on someone else, and I picked you. After all, you are the third best thief in the kingdom."

Llewellyn's eyes widened. "I am not a thief!" she yelped, advanced on the man with her hands outstretched. "And what do you mean third best?!"

"Ah-ah," he said. "That's close enough. You are going to tell me how you survived all of the tests virtually unscathed, how you got through them so quickly and how you circumvented the remainder of the maze. Then I'll kill you."

Llewellyn stopped in her tracks. "What?"

"You heard me."

She looked quickly around. They were alone. She drew her sword and continued to advance toward the man.

He shook his head in resignation and called, "Binky!"

There was a heavy slithering sound, and a lizard came around the corner. It's head alone was equal in weight to Llewellyn's entire body, and it could quite clearly have eaten her whole. She gaped at the creature, her sword falling from suddenly nerveless fingers.

"Now," the man said, gesturing toward a chair. "You can have a seat and let me tie you down, or I can have Binky escort you to your chair. Of course, he'll probably snap off a limb on the way. He never can keep to his diet." He smiled at the huge lizard. "Can oo snookums?" he asked.

Llewellyn made a retching noise. It was followed by the sound of a throat being cleared. Kori was standing next to the huge reptile. The man's eyes widened. So did Binky's. Then the lizard turned to the dwarf and opened it's mouth, displaying row upon row of needle sharp teeth. Kori jammed the blade of an axe against a spot on the huge lizard's chest and scraped the blade up and down. The lizard made a gurgling sound and collapsed to the ground.

"You've killed him!" the man cried.

Kori continued to scrape the axe blade up and down. The lizard kicked its feet happily, it's tongue lolling out of its mouth while it made a series of quiet "oof oof" noises.

"Kori not hurt stone lizard," the dwarf said. "Have one as pet back home."

"Binky!" the man yelled. The lizard ignored him. With a growl of frustration, the man pulled a rope that was hanging near him. There was a deep grinding sound, and then nothing happened. The man tugged on the rope harder. More nothing happened.

"Where's the rock!" he yelled. He glared at Llewellyn as if it were her fault. "A big rock is supposed to come rolling down and crush you! Where is it?"

Llewellyn looked nervously around. All that she saw was Kori still petting the lizard, the raging lunatic man in front of her and Kevek standing near the far wall...oh.

"Someone put big rock in Kevek's tunnel," he complained.

"What did you do with my rock?!" the man yelled.

"Moved rock out of Kevek's way," the dwarf told him. "What think?"

The man grabbed a handful of his own hair and pulled. "You weren't supposed to bring help!" he raged at Llewellyn.

"I didn't bring them," she told him. "You don't think I run around with dwarves on a regular basis, do you?"

With an inarticulate growl of rage, the man snatched up a spear and turned to Llewellyn. "I hate having to get myself dirty like this. Bloodstains are so hard to get out of fine cloth. But you leave me no choice!"

He launched himself at the half elf and then tripped as a section of the floor rose up suddenly in front of him. Kalan climbed out of the opening, looking around.

The man, still lying on the floor, screamed, "How many of those things did you bring with you?! You've completely upset the parameters of the test!"

"This tunnel not is supposed to come up out of floor," Kalan complained.

"Was rock in Kevek's tunnel!" came another complaint.

"Found female stone lizard," Kori said happily. "Can take lizard back to Fang Mountain to mate with male."

"Get out of here!" the man on the floor raged. "Get out of here! You've ruined everything! I'm going to have to redesign the whole thing now!"

"How do we get out of here?" Llewellyn asked.

"I'm not telling you anything!"

"Is short cut this way," Kalan said, pointing.

"You aren't supposed to know about that!" the man yelled. "How many other things do you know?!"

"Dwarfs know many things," Kalan told him.

"Except how to talk properly," Llewellyn said.

"Will you people just get out of here?!" the man yelled.

"Why?" Kevek asked. "Are dwarf tunnels, not human tunnels. Human should leave."

"What?!" the man yelped what are you babbling on about?"

"Tunnels were made by dwarfs," Kori explained.

"Tunnels belong to dwarfs," Kevek added. "And human has altered tunnels without permission of dwarfs."

"But..." the man stammered, "But no one has lived here for years."

"So?" Kevek asked. "If human leaves house for little while, does human lose ownership of house?"

The man cast an evil glared at Llewellyn, who was beginning to chuckle in the background.

"Human must pay rent," Kevek said.

"And must pay to have damaged and altered tunnels repaired," Kalan added.

The man opened his mouth to retort, but then he looked at the three hard faces staring impassively back at him. He also couldn't help but notice the rather ominous way that Kevek was fingering the blade of his axe. His shoulders slumped, and he sighed. "How much do you want?"

Kevek frowned. "Why want to pay Kevek?" he asked.

"But..." the man stammered, "Isn't that what we're talking about?"

"Kevek not own tunnels. Should pay owners."

Llewellyn began to laugh louder.

"And they are...?"

"At Fang Mountain," Kalan said.

Llewellyn's laugh began to get positively annoying.

"Journey only takes few months," Kori told him encouragingly.

"You want me to go to Fang Mountain and..." the man trailed off, and all the others looked at him.

"I might be able to help you out, if you'll answer some questions," Llewellyn told him.

"Kevek not have questions," Kevek said.

"Like what?" the man asked, trying to smile ingratiatingly and not doing a very good job of it.

"Like who you think the first and second best thieves in the Kingdom are."

"Why does short elf care?" Kevek asked.

"Not is thief," Kori reminded him.

"Shut up," Llewellyn suggested.

"Short elf still is telling dwarfs to shut up," Kevek complained.

"And yet, you keep talking," Llewellyn retorted.

"Well," the man said, "the second best thief is Galt."

"Head of the Union of Thieves?" Llewellyn said, her eyes widening.

"Short elf knows lot for not being thief," Kevek mused out loud. Llewellyn ignored him.

"Galt," she complained, "Has been behind a desk for so long that she probably couldn't open a two point pressure lock with an instruction manual! Who, in your mistaken opinion is the first best?"

The man squirmed. "Well," he hesitated, "It's..."

"Shymar?" Llewellyn asked. The man shook his head. "Gelthoriel?" The man shook his head. Llewellyn frowned. "Cymonis?" The man shook his head. "Well, who is it?" Llewellyn shouted.

"Tomis," the man said quickly.

Llewellyn choked. "Tomis?" she said. "You think that Tomis the Clutz is better

than...than...some people? Why would you..."

"He robbed the Valerian Museum!" the man wailed. "I set up the security, and he is the only person to ever break in and steal a painting!"

Llewellyn blinked at the man several times, and then she asked, "You set up the security at the Valerian Museum?"

The man nodded miserably and then said, "I lost my job because Tomis broke my security!"

Llewellyn snorted. The snort gave birth to a chuckle, and the chuckle exploded into a laugh.

"I don't see what's so funny!" the man wailed.

"It is not to worry," Kevek told him. "Short elf is demented."

"The Cheese House," Llewellyn said, when she could finally talk again.

"What?"

"You set up the security at the Cheese House. I can't believe it."

"No, the Valerian Museum," the man said.

"The Cheese House," Llewellyn told him. "It's called that because of all the holes in the security. The Union of Thieves uses that place as a training ground." She continued to laugh. "They had copies made of every painting in the place, and they've swapped them around so many times they probably have no idea which ones are real and which ones are the forgeries!"

"What?!" the man yelped. "You're lying!"

"Go check," she told him, wiping her eyes. "The Cheese House. That's probably the only place in all of Farfell Down that Tomis could break into and get back out of alive."

The man whirled to look at the dwarves. "You have to let me go to the museum," he said.

"Can," Kalan assured him. "Right after return from Fang Mountain."

"But," the man said. He looked at Llewellyn. "But...you said you'd help me..."

"I will," she told him. "Here's some good advice. Plug your ears. I bet it's really loud under the mountain with a bunch of dwarves."

The man closed his eyes and whimpered, then his shoulders sagged, and he said, "All right." H looked at Llewellyn. "But you won't...tell anyone about this while I'm gone, will you?"

Llewellyn's eyes widened. "I'm shocked," she told him. "Would I do something like that? And after you've treated me so well?"

The man's shoulders sagged further.

Kori looked up at Llewellyn. "Short elf is different than Kori expected," he said.

That was enough to make Llewellyn's eyes narrow again. "What do you mean?" she

asked.

"Nicer," Kori said.

Kevek grunted. Llewellyn chose to ignore the sound.

"That's just the way I am," Llewellyn said virtuously. "I always try to touch the lives of everyone I meet and make them better." She also chose to ignore the sudden coughing fit that seemed to overtake Kalan. "We'd better be on our way, don't you think?"

Kalan wiped his eyes, nodded and led the way to the exit.

"Never know what will find in strange tunnels," Kevek said.

Kalan nodded in agreement.

"Was good trip," Kori put in.

Kalan nodded again. "Was," he agreed. "Where want go next year?"

"Are tunnels west of Wolfshead peak," Kevek suggested. "Probably not are elfs there."

Llewellyn snorted audibly. A short time later, she, the three dwarves, an unhappy man, and a stone lizard emerged into the early morning sunlight.

Llewellyn smiled at the sun. Things hadn't gone as she had hoped, but, really, it hadn't turned out to be anywhere near as bad as it might of been, and, when dwarves were involved, that was about the best she was willing to hope for.

THE END

© 2002 by Ralph Benedetto, Jr. Ralph Benedetto teaches college biology and chemistry and plays keyboards for a band specializing in Mexican music. I'm not quite sure what to make of that combination, either. He is the assistant serials editor for Aphelion and likes dogs better than cats. Those two things probably aren't related. His favorite author is P.G. Wodehouse, and now you know all there is to know.