Mission to Mars! by Dave Weaver


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Post February 17, 2012, 12:23:49 AM

Mission to Mars! by Dave Weaver

This thing had me continually wondering, "What the hell -- ?!" -- right up until the last little chunk, maybe half a page worth -- and then, I got really disappointed, and immediately thought of this:

http://www.strangehorizons.com/guidelin ... mmon.shtml

Sorry, Dave, but you lose points for that trick. On the positive side, you did a bang-up job of turning Mars into a comic book.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
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Post February 17, 2012, 01:30:25 AM

Re: Mission to Mars! by Dave Weaver

Lester Curtis wrote:This thing had me continually wondering, "What the hell -- ?!" -- right up until the last little chunk, maybe half a page worth -- and then, I got really disappointed, and immediately thought of this:

http://www.strangehorizons.com/guidelin ... mmon.shtml

Sorry, Dave, but you lose points for that trick. On the positive side, you did a bang-up job of turning Mars into a comic book.


The stuff with Zac and Janey rubbing their rubber space suits against each other was amusingly chaste and kinky at the same time -- appropriate for a 50s-style comic book scenario as inhabited by a pre- or actually-pubescent boy.
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

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Post February 23, 2012, 02:41:30 PM

Re: Mission to Mars! by Dave Weaver

vates wrote:Now, Bottomdweller, Lester Curtis, I'd like to ask something of you. Do you remember the line ' "Poor Frank, he never stood a chance" ' from the martian tale? With that in mind, please reread the last two paragraphs of the whole piece. What do you see?

Hiding in plain sight . . . there's the obvious story-within-a-story, but then another element; kid with no dad, finding a way to adjust to his loss.

Yes, all the pieces fit together quite nicely, but it's still a worn out plot; still too Twilight-Zone-ish. And that detracts and distracts from the kid's story. Keeps it from being too schmaltzy, but tends to bury it at the same time.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
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Post February 27, 2012, 03:58:57 PM

Re: Mission to Mars! by Dave Weaver

Jaimie wrote:...Some of it was just plain sloppy:
Zac turned to Janey long enough to brush a stray hair away from her face.


Weren’t they wearing space suits? How did he brush her hair through the helmet?...


Given the breathable atmosphere, I just assumed that they weren't wearing their Classic 1950s Fishbowl Helmets. So why were they wearing their "rubber spacesuits"? Maybe it was too chilly or damp for shipboard uniforms (or they were practicing Safe Snuggling by wearing their Tea Party-Approved Santorum Brand Full-Body Condoms).
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)

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