Casa Grande Domes by Verona Jones


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Post September 03, 2018, 08:25:07 PM

Casa Grande Domes by Verona Jones

Great read; I liked the way she turned the tables on the bad guy.

But what about poor old Gary, who committed suicide? That's a very big deal, too big a deal to just throw into the narrative and forget about it. You left me wondering why Gary committed suicide and why she could not communicate with his spirit like she did with the dead girls.

Perhaps the trauma of her near death experience would open the psychic window to communicate with the late Gary. Even if the question is left unanswered, a scene with Gary's shade would give the reader some closure. There has to be a lesson here.

And then there is Karl. Upon reaching the other side, did he feel any remorse for his behavior in life? Did his suffering end with the dog bites, or does he experience some mental anguish in the great beyond? I think he deserves to come back, even if only briefly, for a final kick in the ass.

This must be a fragment of a longer work. When does the book come out?
Cary Semar

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Joined: August 30, 2018, 11:39:33 AM

Post September 03, 2018, 10:25:15 PM

Re: Casa Grande Domes by Verona Jones

Cary,

Thank you so much for your comments. I'm working on a Master's in Creative Writing and this short story was my home work assignment. I hadn't thought further ahead on what to do with it, which is why I submitted it to Aphelion.

Turning it into a book is a great idea, and one I will have to start brainstorming on.

Thank You,

Verona

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