R.E.D. By Alan Delaney


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Post June 12, 2008, 08:24:56 AM

R.E.D. By Alan Delaney

An excellent story. The idea of a created object turning against its masters is nothing new (I believe "Frankenstein" was one of the first); but although cliched, the plot in this story is handled extremely well; the R.E.D. works exactly as it was built until it is damaged and then is forced to move outside its programmed parameters. (I can only imagine it going back to base, heading straight for the device that sends orders up to the satellite, ordering the satellite to self-desctruct and then blowing up the groundside communication device. And then some of the other R.E.D.s might decide to come and help... but will it be able to trust them? There is a lot of sequel potential in this story...)

The descriptions are nice, although I think an opportunity was missed here; with all these extra senses to use to describe surroundings, you stuck to the normal human ones.

A very good story.

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Post June 17, 2008, 01:52:18 PM

Re: R.E.D. By Alan Delaney

The opening did not a great job of setitng the story's atmosphere and tone. I also like the stylistic techniques used in the pargraph that begins "The mountains were dark ..." when aserie sof sentecnes begins with "Were they..."; it nicely shows he transition that is occurring at that point in the story.
Rob Bignell
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Post June 25, 2008, 12:36:25 AM

Re: R.E.D. By Alan Delaney

A robot that becomes a free willed machine-- at least to the point of not wanting to be ordered around.

I must say that I really liked this story. The descriptions very good, word choices, sentence lengths and clarity superb!  It is nice to read a story as if it were being played out on a stage, and this story had that quality: easy to follow, easy to read, and easy to visualize Jim and its surroundings.

The science good and the author must have some training in computer programming, since he used terms like hashing and algorithm in a real working sense. He also hinted at complex data-structures and their functions! Nice.

Jim the robot had a arsenal in him, and some reader might think it too much. But I would have liked to know what powered Jim? Jim needed a good source of energy to live and fight and especially move like he did.

We have a story about a robot that is self-aware, and that self-awareness coupled with damage to his circuits, and the search for data internally, produced an independent think machine that will not take orders from anyone. I’m not sure how the searches make him more independent, but they did.

I can't think of anything to add that will make the story better. Most of the suggestings I have will make the story different, but not better.

It's alway easy to say more showing and less tell, and more sensory inputs, but this story seems to have a good balance with just the right amount of showing, and telling and sensory input.

Very nice job!!

;)
 
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