Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]


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Post May 01, 2018, 10:14:55 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

It worked! I got Mozambique out of my... shit. Well, it was out of my mind until I said it wasn't. Cool sounding word anyway.

"Mozambique. Mozambique. If shithead moved there then it would be him that the people eat!"

Nice one parasite, now go count mud balls.

"Okay, see ya in Mozambique."
***

Got to thinking about freedom of writing in history and in nations currently bearing various names of countries. Imagine what would happen if you wrote a public piece of writing about royalty in Saudi Arabia having sex with dogs... Bet the writer would not be having a hand available to write anything, that is, if they didn't get their head chopped off also.

So many countries impose restrictions on writers I'd be willing to bet they outnumber the countries that do allow freedom.

As a reader I peruse the various news outlets just to make sure humanity is still an ignorant, weird, crazy, species, and I've yet to be disappointed. 'Mother put baby in micro wave,' or 'Trump had sex with a dog.' And while the news usually sucks big time, at least people writing such stories have the right to do so. It is this I truly respect and like.

And then I got to thinking about how history shows the various moments where large amounts of knowledge were lost. The Roman Empire, Ottoman Empire, A lot of Empires... Just imagine what was lost when Alexanders library was destroyed.

And then I thought, what is knowledge? Knowledge is a fickle thing. What is held as absolute one day becomes fantasy the next. This of course depends upon facts and who is writing. Take abortion. One day it is murder, the next it is a joy to get (freedom and such).

So, mixing in the freedom to write, or the draconian arm of literary control. And then put in the availability of computer assisted research (subject to the whims of whomever writes the shit on internet) and wow, what a great breeding ground for something.

It will be interesting to see where the worlds freedom to write will end up just as how far stupid people can be lead to believe the world is actually round (it is flat and I have proof!) or that the earth goes around the sun...Ha! Everyone knows the goes around the earth...
*

Knowledge of Freedom

Aware of direction when first learning to crawl
Fall off a chair
Hit head on a table
Find candy in a jar

Aware of direction when first learning to walk
Skin the knee when tripping
Learn how to zip up trousers
See an elevated world now higher up

Aware of direction when learning how to run
Feel the pulse of a beating heart
Sweat and perspire
Making the world smaller

Aware of direction when learning how to read and write
Asking and answering questions
Entertainment
Education and such

Aware of direction as the body and mind age
Memories
Recollections
Experience

Aware of something though now starting to forget
Laying old, immobile, silent,
in a bed made the last time for death,
where in the awareness of direction did mankind become lost...

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Post May 03, 2018, 09:49:08 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Sex and writing.
Mmm... it's as old as writing itself.

"Hot dog get your hot dog," the vendor at the baseball game shouted.

"I'll take one here...No, make that two," a burly man with a dirty cap signaled. He and his girlfriend were spending the day at the Saturday game.

"That'll be $29."

The food was passed down the line, held by many hands along the way and the money passed back the other way. A trade for services.

"Mmm... these dogs are great!" The beautiful woman said as she wolfed in the foot-long. It was hot, juicy, and firm. Some of the mustard dribbled down her chin.

"Yeah, nothing beats a good hot dog." The man smiled, as he patted her on the leg.
***

And there you have it. If I wrote the story WITHOUT first making the statement of sex and writing, the reader would have made no connections. BUT, since I did, the readers mind has been pumped and primed, rock hard with opinion of the orgasmic opinion WHILE reading.

This is a truly fucked up world but fun indeed, for writers.

"How about writing about a rabbit butt fucking a mouse? Would that be good or what."

No, parasite, that would... wait a minute. Would the rabbit be wearing a thong? And the mouse, is it a common field mouse or city rat?

"It can be whatever a writers imagination wants it to be!"

Right on parasite, right on.

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Post May 06, 2018, 12:25:02 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Science fiction. Fantasy. Horror. But what better source than reality that sounds like all three?

Environmentalist Lawyer Arrested For Raping His Dog

May 5, 2018| by Brian Anderson


This is a headline designed by a writer, Brian Anderson, that ensures it ensnares anyone wanting to read more. Of course, I just had to see what it was all about as it is what sets humans apart from snails and cockroaches... they are nuts.

Funny though, as I was getting inspired to write after reading such a crappy news article I could not help but engage my mind with thoughts of my corgi dogs and the headline.
***

"Here Radar. Come on boy. Tinkerbelle. Come! Ah, good dogs. Here is a treat."

"Thanks," Tinkerbelle, the female corgi said.

"About time, " Radar, the male corgi said.

"So, who is up for some good doggy style sex!:'

(silence)

"What happened to Robin?" A concerned neighbor asked after not seeing him for a few weeks and noticing a pungent, foul odor drifting in the wind.

The sheriff came and after entering the home, he screamed. Two very fat corgi's were finishing off the remains of Robin. He swore he heard the smaller one say, "That fat idiot sure was tasty!" While the other replied, "What do you think he meant by doggy style sex? We got fixed as puppies and all we do is eat."

****
Yes, a sick short story but being inspired by sick short headlines will do that to a person.

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Post May 06, 2018, 11:29:36 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Tiny chips of carbide
spinning soldiers facing the same way steadfast
biting force deep

channel straight the plunge
along a line drawn
precise

separating the board in two
as if in battle there could be change
and while the blade is but a tool of linear ambition
never again will the wood it meets
be the same.
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Post May 06, 2018, 12:40:52 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Best laugh of the day (so far):
"That'll be $29."


Like the poem about the sawblade, too.
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Post May 06, 2018, 11:40:25 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

I know, right? $29 It probably is now more like $50 for two dogs and two beers at a game now. Or, in the NFL you can have a choice... two hotdogs and two beers or a season pass for the football season. The way the NFL tickets are going down in price, they'll soon be free.

Learned that when stopping at a store to buy some chemical diet soda, it's better to buy a case of twelve on sale for $4.95 than to buy one can/bottle for $1.89 (plus tax)

Laughter is good indeed, that's why I look in a mirror everyday!
***

Laughter

The best medicine in life they say,
Laughter makes the day

To chortle, and giggle
stomp and wheeze
with snot flinging freely, and getting weak kneed,
when hearing something funny

Comedians do their best
Politicians are
Children are natural
Work... too easy
Everyone has a say

Laughter is indeed the best medicine in life...
though...
Pizza
Chips
Chemical soda's...
they too, are great.
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Post May 07, 2018, 12:03:12 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

"... chemical diet soda ..."
I hope you're not drinking that ...
:shock:
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Post May 07, 2018, 10:19:36 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Oh hell YEAH!

I get so tired of having society tell us, "Don't smoke, don't eat butter, don't eat eggs, don't breath the air, don't play with sharp knives (ouch) don't, don't, don't, don't...

I'm a firm believer that the body knows what is best. If the body craves chocolate donuts, eat chocolate donuts. If the body craves meat, eat meat. Lard? eat lard. Dirt? eat dirt. Sharp knives? Ouch. Don't play with sharp knives...

Moderation is the key of course.

Now, as for that shitty, crappy, stuff they call diet soda... They have nothing good in it other than chemicals designed to kill weeds or remove paint...but... I love the shit!

Diet Mt. Dew, followed by diet Coke. It's all good.

And, it works because at my last VA physical, I was in perfect health. And, I told the doc about all the chips, dip, diet sodas, etc... and she said, "Keep doing what you do because it is working."

Maybe one day I'll crave eating crayons and to write poetry about the love life of stuff growing in a septic tank. It's all good.

Thanks for the inspiration.
***

Good for You

It's good for you, they said
It's bad for you, they said

I said no
They said no
the body said
yes.

A little cream on top of that for you?
Sugar in your tea?
How do you like your red meat?
Two dozen jelly donuts?
Pizza?


"If you eat tofu and spinach you'll live to be a hundred," said by one younger who died from eating alfalfa sprouts the next day.

"Don't eat that. Don't drink that. Drive this. Do that. Dress, bathe, exercise, sleep..."

What is good for some or all
is not good
for me. (burp)
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Post May 08, 2018, 12:29:37 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

HA! Good on you!

I tried yogurt recently because it was supposed to be good for you--including good for your brain (Thanks, Kathleen McAuliffe, author of "This is Your Brain on Parasites").

GACK! Everything about yogurt seems weird and slightly wrong to me, and that's the stuff with the fruit and sugar, yet. I can't help thinking I should be facing some space alien who just handed it to me and pantomimed eating--he (or she, or it) is smiling nervously at me like this is some kind of experiment and no one knows what the results will be. I don't need the brain enhancement that badly. I think I've gotten a shitload more benefit from bicycling, brain included.
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Post May 08, 2018, 10:37:19 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Ha! Almost blew soup out of my nose while reading your post.

GACK! Now that is a word not often heard.

Yogurt. Now while I'm a glutton, to me yogurt is a mix between jello left on the kitchen table too long and snot that erupts during the cold season. But us gluttons... we eat anything (except liver and coffee... unless, the liver is liver pate on crackers with pickles...((yes, I'm a hypocrite))) Liver in slab form sizzling on a stove is just plain nasty.

Your writing had me instantly picture ET, (the one on the original movies saying, "ET, phone home...") sticking its finger in yogurt and after phoning home orders the total destruction of earth for possessing such a substance.

Thanks for the laugh Lester, after the shit I went through today, much appreciated. And thanks for the inspiration.

***

Alien Food

Language so profound as to almost be
undecipherable

Scientists poked, prodded, and placed the item
where all could play with it

So old it was, yet so alive,
Odor spilling everywhere, even with climate control lab

"What do you make of it?" A woman in white with degree's climbing up her wall asked
"A strange substance indeed...: He replied, holding a sample with tongs

"Where did they find it," so many others asked
as one who fainted from the smell, was carried outside

"It was found in a local store, Walmart I think..."
"Oh, what a disgusting substance..."
"Please, destroy it before it breeds..."

When it finally was over, the language was solved
Ingredients known
S-P-A-M
Ingredients: Pig parts, salt, road tar, wax, dead children, turkey lips, embalming fluid, metal shavings, ebola...

And to think, the Samoan's love it
And they serve spam in Hawaii
And I love it,
especially
fried!

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Post May 09, 2018, 09:50:40 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

subtle how the family gathers in evil trance
whispering words from so long ago past
before the fires melting Truth

Asagi so to tu tomil...
breath of Satan's laugh

Set trap upon trap to entice and deceive
with ambitions startling, clear,
full of worm ridden mud and shit

heart torn open, this basket of venom hiss
Strike!
Strike down the trident bliss

She, just a child wearing white and flowers upon her head
He, just a fragment of dust splitting the wind
They, just a blur of nothing with wisdom to match

f]ro[m the skee do tok, the sky's opened wide to drown the noise
with powur tai tae lu
Somrun, go this trail tried

Feel now the Dragon's power, its tail smashing open molten core
Below such,
below the melting fire of Truth

Tonight world, the World exists
setting right,
the path

For when the Wind(s) calm after eating the Stars
Wormwood wise
this knowledge of Cor ut tu mi...
(so much, so much, so much... lost)
the Sun will once again Rise
on Truth
as the embers turn cold, the people heal,
and...
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Post May 10, 2018, 11:48:40 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Don't know if you're any kind of musician, but I think you'd get a kick out of this:

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/o ... _5_10_2018)&mc_cid=75264b44af&mc_eid=95d91afc7a
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Post May 10, 2018, 08:42:52 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Yep, I whistle while taking a shower and banging on... a rock, yeah, a rock.

Seriously (THUD! the parasite always faints when Robin takes something seriously.

Seriously though (said while stepping over unconscious parasite) I like to play any instrument just to see what kind of sound can be squeezed out and I like to whistle while banging on... a rock, yeah, a rock!

*

Anyway, cool article. In school my favorite sound was using the side of my thumbs to beat on a desk top.

Thanks for the inspiration.

**

Rocks Song

***************
***************
***************

Did you hear it?

Vibrations from a place you cannot not go

yet

all around, and around, and around
us
there is the song of stone felt.

To hear
To feel

yet

only when the eyes can actually hear
and the ears to feel
will anyone come a bit closer
in this
it is
to understand.

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Post May 11, 2018, 02:30:11 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

standing atop a ball of no color
neither black or white filled yet
with so much colorful emotion

all around while round, while wounded, winded, whining with
words
so much now, the comfort
of silence

standing atop a ball of no color
surrounded by wet sky, wet land, wet forests
filled yet
with so much colorful emotion

dripping, saturation as if the world cries for joy
and sadness
seemingly endless
so to see a forest burn
was not expected from the world of delusions
of logic

so much so no wonder as it is and was and will be
hot
intense
turning the forest to ashes
fleeing life of animal and human
such the things of normal forgotten

standing atop a ball of no color
neither black or white filled yet
with so much colorful emotion

feeling so many things
feeling the hopelessness of man
of death
destruction
ashes

and then...

standing atop a ball of no color
neither black or white filled yet
with so much colorful emotion

a ball becoming a box, immense, small, open, broken
and disappearing,
leaving so much color

to see a new forest filled with young bushes, young trees
so much color
so much joy
so much so so no wonder as it is it was and it will be

to again feel the embrace of wetness
the kiss of wind
the life
the emotions
and the ball of no colors
neither black or white filled yet
with so much colorful emotion

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Post May 12, 2018, 10:19:51 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

cosine tangent to the hypotenuse
square root to the angle
where two lines
meet

addition to subtract the equal
and then
divide

zero sum equation
multiplied

infinity of pi
sighs
mathematics of mind

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Post May 14, 2018, 12:22:56 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Inspiration is inspiring is reason to write.

Today, grateful for receiving some kind words. Also, while excavating a new road I came across a wonderful cedar tree about 24" tall that was to be destroyed by progress. I dug it out and placed it in a bucket and then tonight after getting home, planted it. Will it survive? Maybe. Maybe not. But for sure it survived getting buried and destroyed. Cedar is a beautiful tree indeed.

Also, at work today, a man named, Mark was tasked with raking topsoil I was scooping into some flower beds. I laughed as a hen (chicken) would not leave him alone. I watched as the hen rushed in and tried to find worms while Mark raked. Of course, I made lots of jokes about it to him.

Today was a good day. And so, what better way to end it then to write.
***

Beneath the stature of majesty
Towering high stood a cedar

So thick the boughs to hide
nests
webs
sky

Creek rushing clear over flat stones placed
Gushing force to test the ears
and so peaceful to listen and dream

A man labored with a rake, cigarette dangling, acne popping, and few teeth
yet an old chicken joined him; again, such peace

Ground soft from so much water called rain
Pollen and petals from plums reached out for notice
while the teeth of the machine dug deep

Today, a good day, and now a good night
to sleep.
***

And though the day is over, a 'Happy Mothers Day' to those mothers who try their hardest raising children in a world so harsh and strange.
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Post May 14, 2018, 01:15:44 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Good of you to save that little tree. I hope it thrives and brings pleasure to you and others.

I walked out back today to sniff the cherry blossoms before they're gone. A lot of years lately I've missed that, not getting down there before the bloom ended. It perfumes the whole back yard.
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Post May 15, 2018, 09:33:56 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Sometimes it is that saved which saves us. Symbiosis entwine to share a common pulse. Tree's are indeed, uplifting.

Inspiring morning as the sun gets to work.
***

Petals waft and wander, if even only for a drop of seconds
Dripping so after so long of waiting

Winter tested limbs succeed to bud
Spring releases the ambitions

A back yard world where body seeks shelter, carried feet too
with tired yet true ambitions

There in a world where man and tree meet
to share in pool of seconds to forget an eternity of struggle for a moment.

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Post May 16, 2018, 09:47:10 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Binged upon the picture unfolding
a screen of fog set within a cloud
lit by the sky

No doubt there rests a palm of path
covered in mud from a sliding fall
and laughter

Wrestle and wrangle an unspun track
perspiring and struggle
and then, the hands washed

Rain then,
joined in
sitting there together, getting clean
and all a part of the big picture.

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Post May 17, 2018, 09:13:53 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

in the world of man, there exists the two worlds. one of the dreams and one of those awake. two separate but different worlds where the two rarely meet as one-in-the same... sometimes though, it happens.

soft memories explored until the hardness of reality set in
firm belief held so true and with such passions
eternal it seems as so it is and must be

some say a fantasy of what cannot be yet is
is but a dream far from reality
some say reality of what cannot be yet is
is but a fantasy of a dream

how can this be?

(silence)

in a dream there are no boundaries, no please or thanks as those only arrive in reality
in reality there is nothing but boundaries, filled with please and thanks

how do i know it is real?
it is real when hearing,
"i'm sorry," when indeed it is me that should say
I'm sorry
as the dream, always
the dream... this is my
reality.

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Post May 19, 2018, 12:06:52 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

So Al has the water under contract. A rich man from California wants to purchase the springs and build a 150 RV park plus pool. He wants to spend millions. Of course, the 'regulars' bitch and moan, wanting it all to remain the same. Nothing remains the same and if those who bitch and moan want it to remain the same, why don't they buy it and run it? I say, good business to you Al. You deserve it.

Now as for inspiration, the waters were wonderful today. Much needed and soaked to the very deepness of what makes up me. Of course, philosophy discussed where one man took particular interest, his mind trying to hide what cannot be hidden while in the waters. It was, and is, good.
***
Learning

With face to show what the was reaction\
such as a smile, frown, and even
concentration.

To ask a question framed
as if a picture already painted
as surprise shows the hidden numbers guide.

People clinging to the old and new
forming opinion and ideas
while leaving so little
to imagination.

Religion
Politics
Technology

Who is right with who is to blame

Conspiracy
Facts
Fiction
Rejection
Acceptance...

Denial
Surprise
Angry
Sad
Acceptance...

This word, acceptance
so easy for some, impossible for most
a basic human equation.

Education where a little knowledge is a very dangerous thing
Knowledge where it can save or kill
while the circle turns full circle

This world tries, it truly does
but cannot understand what really is so simple
...
Maybe? Maybe one day? Of course it will happen,
but that is why there is also the word,
tomorrow.

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Post May 19, 2018, 12:30:59 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Hey parasite, ya gonna help me sawmill today?

"...and, what do you think my answer is?"

I think you're gonna say yes as there is a new bag of chips coming that Matt showed me; Poppin Jalepeno Dorito's...

(silence)

"Bastard. You truly are a dick Robin... So, when do we start milling and what do you want me to do?"

Easy peesy parasite. All ya gotta do is test the blade for sharpness before it enters the log. Don't worry, I'll guide you through it.
Oh, and you might want to bring a box of bandages with you, maybe a spare appendage.
***

Sawmilling

Rip snorting actions where sawdust shoots like small angry hornets
Metal bands dripping soapy water to cut the sap
as the teeth teach the wood manners of linear proportions

Diesel smell and grease
while beneath a bored corgi sleeps
as the pile of lumber grows higher

and when the day is over
there comes rest and chips
letting the sawmill cool its engine in preparation for another test.
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Post May 20, 2018, 12:28:45 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Soapy water? Never thought of that, but then I've never seen any kind of lumber milling operation. I'm going to guess at the kind of wood that needs that: pitch pine (or whatever its proper name is). I've used small quantities of siding boards made of the stuff; there are big patches of the wood that are so much pure resin that light shines through them. Coats saw-blades and drill bits with tar that won't come off. Stops nails from being driven through. Splits ... if a split starts, it will just run the whole length of the piece. Lousy junk. It sure does burn, though. Maybe that's what the water is for, huh?

I have some of those trees in my front yard; my dad had me help him plant some of them. I think they were the cheapest saplings he could buy. They're dying now, but even when one falls apart, you can't touch a piece of it without getting tacky stuff all over you, and it won't wash off with any ordinary soap. Demands repeated applications of Goo-Gone or the like, and then the bottle of gunk-remover is all tacky on the outside. Faucet handles. It's like the stuff is malignant.

Lunchtime. It's hot-dog day.
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Post May 20, 2018, 11:15:06 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

The mill runs a bandsaw blade which rolls over two large metal wheels. One wheel is the power and the other, just a carrier. I think the pressure of the band on the wheels in upwards of many thousands of pounds. (when a band breaks, you do NOT want to be on the receiving end of the flying pieces_

Anyway, I use a plastic tank with gravity drip of water. Sometimes just the water is enough to keep the blade from gumming up but if milling a pitchy old dead pine... then with dish soap added to the water it all works like a charm.

I've had people tell me they use diesel fuel and other liquids but since pressure/friction of the blade against the drive wheel is what gives it power, don't want to risk the band slipping or even slide off the wheel. I know that in the winter, until the metal heats up, I have to be careful with the water as sometimes it instantly freezes on the wheel and the band slides off and I curse like you wouldn't believe...

"Oh, I believe it. You're a foul mouthed, dirty rotten bastard, and I hope a bird shits on your head."

That's why I have you parasite. You're a perfect target for bird shit.

Thanks for the inspiration Lester.
***

Hot Dogs

Dog tired feet
All of it going to the dogs
Doggone it
Hot diggity dog
and
pigs snouts and curly tails processed into a delicacy
that makes one howl like a dog
when biting into the hot mustard mixed with hot peppers
and then drinking water out of the dogs water bowl
while being viewed with amusement by a cat with a smile.
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Post May 21, 2018, 12:19:54 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Cute poem, haha.

I do know band saws, along with various other industrial machinery; just haven't seen a lumber-mill-sized one. I *hated* mounting blades on those, even the small-shop sized models--mostly getting the blade out of the box and unfolded without it whacking you somewhere. If I had to do it again I think I'd take the blade out of the box, remove the twist-tie, and just fling it away from me, haha. In fact that may be how I used to do it; I don't recall.

Then you have to worry about the pulley alignment and make sure the blade isn't going to walk itself off on one side or the other--or maybe it's only belt-sanders that do that ...?

Some people don't do themselves any favors; I've seen a video of someone cutting wood on a bandsaw and they had the blade guide FULLY RETRACTED--damn fool had maybe three inches of blade twisting around unsupported above the workpiece. Setting a bad example for the whole world on Youtube. They clearly didn't read the operator's manual. If they're lucky it'll only cost them ruined blades and wasted workpieces.

Time to put the tools down and get lunch.
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Post May 21, 2018, 09:49:51 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Some of the bandmill's used to mill lumber have a special wheel that has a groove in it so the band cannot travel off the wheels. One such mill is made by, Woodmizer. I had an LT40, made by them, one of the first they made and it was crap! Good for cutting you in half and that's about it.

Mill alignment is very important and it is easy to see if you succeed or not as by just turning the wheels by hand, the band will quickly track off the front or back, if not properly aligned.

This mill is my fourth mill. I've had a Foley Belsaw, LT40 Woodmizer, Mobile Dimension ( my favorite. a circular saw powered by a VW engine with oversize bearings) and now, a Baker industrial-get-anything-in-front-of-the-blade, and it will cut it. Hydraulic everything. I can mill up to 31' and cut a 4' log.

Interesting you mention about how bands act when 'unfolding' them. Sorta like a jack-in-the box, only without the music and usually a scream of pain as the band goes "SPROING!" and some of the teeth tear out chunks of flesh. Of course, after losing lots of blood and skin, I developed a trick to those bastards.

As for Youtube, you sure got that right. Did some work for a man building his own home. He showed me a video of a bench made out of dirt and mud. Embedded inside was a stove pipe connected to a small fire box. The chimney was a bare 6" chunk of stove pipe going up through the ceiling. He wanted to build one to heat the house.

After laughing for about twenty minutes, I recovered and asked, why?

He said just a few pieces of wood would heat the whole house. As the Youtube video said it would... Damn, it made me laugh.

After using logic and pointing out all the many and multiple errors of the video he saw the light and bought a wood cook stove.
***

Saw It On the Internet

Alien babies taking over local Chinese buffet
Woman gives birth to a fully grown ape
Dog bites own nose

How to change a brain?
How to rob Fort Knox?
How to explain cannibalism to a chicken?

See a tank swim underwater?
Listen to a two-day old girl sing the National Anthem?

For these and all things...
Youtube.com
(it's free and since it's on the internet, it must be real. after all, look at me! I made this body out of recycled soda bottles, some spare lumber, a chunk of meteorite, and some cheese! all after researching Youtube, Webmd, and Fox news)

Now, as for Facebook? Same fucking thing.
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Post May 22, 2018, 04:14:01 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Oh, yeah, the idiots posting their "knowledge" on the net ... when I found out I needed my chimney relined, I started looking for information on it. Found a long video of some guys who bought a DIY kit. It got ugly when they opened the very large box containing the coiled insulated double-walled stainless flue pipe. There was bloodshed, and these guys then giving warnings to wear thick leather gloves when handling the stuff. Worse, they had to cut it to length, and then one of them standing on the roof and shoving the stuff down the chimney. I immediately started shopping for a good contractor, and yeah, it cost me about $7000, but I'm glad I can usually figure out when a job is beyond my ability/skill level/expertise ... which is most of the time.

Also on the net during that search I DID find quite a few warnings about doing this kind of job yourself ... many who do wind up having to call a professional anyway to fix what they fucked up, so they still pay full price (or more) *plus* suffer the embarrassment. And possible injuries.

I did do a freestanding fireplace/chimney installation in a tiny house I lived in once. The roof had a gentle slope and the parts all went together easily; double-wall stainless sections that screwed together. It wouldn't keep the whole house warm, but it did pretty good for the living room/kitchen with open ceiling and a ceiling fan. The whole house was insulated. Cute little place; I liked it. Glad I didn't listen to my wife, though; she wanted me to build a brick fireplace *on top of the framed floor.* And my only attempt at bricklaying ... well, let's just say I'm glad it was only a little back-porch step.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

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Post May 23, 2018, 12:30:21 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Two fun projects; chimney's and bricks. They do go together and the good news is that the new chimney inserts are much easier than the old clay liners. Now, if I were there I'd of saved you about $6500 and along with the $500 you would have paid you'd have to also feed me for the day and that would probably run about $6500... so, a wash.

Ever been in a teepee? Pretty good engineering for a group of people who never attended a college prof lecture or grade school.
The teepee can withstand extreme winds, keep warm in the winter, cool in the summer, and the control of smoke is astounding. Maybe NASA could take some pointers from indigenous folks? For sure, modern society could learn a great deal.

Thanks for the inspiration'
***

Smoke Signals

Far off in a distance near the stars yet far from home
a fire stores the smoke
released towards a destination high
while beneath warms a beat

Singing songs from far
and near the life brings tone
mixing sparks and voice and drum
ayee ayee ayo

Coyote glare and owl voice
howls to world silent
lost in speed and war
ayee ayee ayo

Man and woman born together
Wood and flame too
in creation
rising
rising
rising
A signal:
Life has meaning
and every life is worth hearing
Ayee Ayee Ayee Awoo.
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Post May 23, 2018, 04:22:24 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Never been in a teepee, but I've heard about them. Double-wall construction, right? And the smoke flap is on its own control stick, so they can regulate the draw and maybe even adjust a little bit for wind direction (not sure about that). Flue damper. Not bad if you don't mind the lack of windows.

Yurts work similarly, and the dome shape might be even more energy-efficient. I don't think they have to worry as much about overheating in Mongolia.

Both good solutions for nomadic folks with horses.

Go look up the movie "Nanook of the North." They filmed this little family traveling around in the Arctic Circle, and you get to see the building of an igloo, which are also pretty decent shelters. Fascinating process; they cut the blocks of snow with a special knife. The blade is made of ivory or bone, and that might be because that material doesn't stick to the snow when it cuts. At bedtime the whole family strips naked and huddles together under a godawful enormous animal pelt--father, wife, adult daughter, a little baby, and I think another kid or two.

The dogs get a separate shelter of their own, but only if the weather is extra nasty or if there are puppies who need it. Otherwise the sled dogs just sleep in the snow. Those dogs are only just barely domesticated, too; they get into vicious fights and the man wades in and wallops 'em until they quit.

One thing that struck me about those people was that they make toys for the kids, too--and their fur coats are elaborately decorated. Very cheerful folks. Maybe most awesome, the man collected polar-bear pelts for trade ... he kills them with a spear. The pelts are about seven feet long. We think we're tough. Maybe that's why they're so cheerful; they're always glad to still be alive from one day to the next.
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Post May 23, 2018, 09:25:56 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Many types and style of teepees. Interesting how the simple engineering of old is still applicable today. And when you mentioned yurts I had to laugh as I've seen pic's of what a bear can do to a yurt when people staying inside store savory food!

Nanook of the North was one of my favorite reads. And I've studied the various book and video of proper snow building. Amazing. Of course, many children raised in a snowy environment soon adapt and learn rudimentary skills while digging holes into a snow bank or actually trying their hand at an igloo using a square snow shovel to cut out the blocks from crusty snow.

Another fun fact about life in the north was that when visitors from afar visited the more remote villages, they were encouraged to breed with the group to provide diversity, sorta like what happens when a guy visits Vegas. Oh, I could write for hours just on cultural curiosities. And if one spends some time researching old film, there are some really good ones...even that one about the ship caught in the ice and the crew had to eat the dogs. The movie name began with an S... Yes, Shakleton's Forget the name but for as harsh as their conditions were, the casualties were very light.

As for polar bears... smart bastards. they know they are protected so they actively hunt humans for food. For example (taking this from actual translations of a couple of polar bears hanging around the Connoco drilling rig in northern Alaska.)

"So, what are we gonna do today? Wanna go fuck with the seals?" One very old and fat bear said to his partner.

"Naw... Did that yesterday..."

"So, are you thinking of..."

"Yeah..."

"Noticed a new batch of workers out by the little round hard things, you know, the ones stinking of oil?"

"Yeah, and I think there was some dark meat in that group. Plus, a female in heat! Yummy!"

"So, what are we waiting for, lets go eat them!"

"Okay... but first let me finish my snack on the arctic fox." (burp)
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