Shirasawa's Promise By Jay Hill


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Post December 20, 2012, 08:14:52 PM

Shirasawa's Promise By Jay Hill

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Post December 27, 2012, 08:57:02 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Promise By Jay Hill

Nice job! It has the feel of an ancient myth to it.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

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Post January 04, 2013, 12:02:07 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Promise By Jay Hill

Thank you for reading the story and especially for the kind words! I was definitely going for something mythic; so I'm glad you liked that aspect.

Offline, I've had a couple of people ask me where the story goes next... Or more specifically, does Shira stay and fight? Or will she go to China to look for Miyabe?

All I can say is I am working on the "next chapter," so to speak, and that I hope you like it as well!

Thanks again for reading the story. I really enjoyed writing this one.
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Post January 22, 2013, 04:59:43 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Promise By Jay Hill

I loved this little story, and I think it deserves your attention if you've got ideas for continuing it. The spirit form mechanic was done so smoothly - truly, I envy the natural way you've used magic in this piece.

Almost without exception, I prefer secondary worlds, entirely fictional ones, over fantasy taking place on Earth. But I can forgive it here. It's sufficiently strange, its laws different enough, to keep things interesting.

I could ding you on a few instances of questionable punctuation or passive voice, but I really don't care to. This is good stuff.

Write more of it.

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Post January 28, 2013, 04:08:31 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Promise By Jay Hill

Jonboy,

Thank you for the kind (and very encouraging) words! And sorry it has taken me a few days to reply.

The plan for the next story is to follow Shirasawa north across the sea to a significantly altered version of underground China. I'm not sure if "darker" is the right term exactly, but her character will be tested. The working title is "Shirasawa's Rage" and hopefully it will continue many of the elements you enjoyed.

Thanks again for the great comments!

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Post January 28, 2013, 04:13:55 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Promise By Jay Hill

Jay_Hill wrote:Jonboy,

Thank you for the kind (and very encouraging) words! And sorry it has taken me a few days to reply.

The plan for the next story is to follow Shirasawa north across the sea to a significantly altered version of underground China. I'm not sure if "darker" is the right term exactly, but her character will be tested. The working title is "Shirasawa's Rage" and hopefully it will continue many of the elements you enjoyed.

Thanks again for the great comments!

Jay,

Welcome to our forum! We would all like for you to visit regular and often, commenting, maybe submit stories to the flash challenges in Fun and Games section (read the rules and join us).

Your personal take on things will be happily received.

Mark

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Post January 29, 2013, 03:17:32 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Promise By Jay Hill

Mark,

It would be an honor! I've really enjoyed the webzine for a while now, and would love to participate in the forums and discussions.

Thanks!

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