http://www.aphelion-webzine.com/shorts/2012/05/DeathValley.htmlVery good job, very gripping story.
One suggestion is to make the setting more vivid. I can only guess where the opening battle took place. The second scene (indicated by ###) erupts into a long conversation that seems to occur nowhere in particular. I waited in vain for snatch of description to snap things into focus. Since I am not always an attentive reader, I thought perhaps I had missed something, so I went back and reread the scene from the beginning, but it was not there.
Make the reader see and feel the place. It is a bit distracting when people are talking in limbo, unless they really are in limbo. One line of description would do a lot to smooth the way for the reader.
The action is very well presented. The flashback to the dorm room scene is excellent.
The ending is not only sad, but it includes a switch from one viewpoint character to another. It might have been better to let Kelso be the viewpoint character from the beginning, since he is the one who survives.