Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout


Tell us what you thought about the April 2011 issue!

Moderator: Editors

User avatar

Critic

Posts: 145

Joined: December 14, 2009, 11:20:06 AM

Location: I don't know?

Post May 09, 2011, 01:17:22 PM

Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

I got a little lost in the story, in regards to the characters. The consequence of the teleportation was funny, but I wonder what actual consequences would occur if this transpired.
“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.”
-Mark Twain

Senior Critic

Posts: 263

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: California

Post May 10, 2011, 11:54:53 AM

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

ONE CONSEQUENCE WOULD BE THE CRITIQUE OF UNIVERSITY BUREAUCRACY IN THE LAST FEW PARAGRAPHS.

MY OWN CRITICISM OF THIS STORY WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST ASK BETH TO SIGN A NEW FORM WHILE EVERYONE WAS WATCHING.

FORGIVE THE CAPS. THESE ANCIENT EYEBALLS HAVE PROBLEMS WITH 12 AND 14 FONT PRINT ANY MORE.

gino
User avatar

Critic

Posts: 145

Joined: December 14, 2009, 11:20:06 AM

Location: I don't know?

Post May 10, 2011, 07:16:18 PM

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

Gino, didn't you write this?
“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.”
-Mark Twain
User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 845

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Knoxville, Tennessee    USA

Post May 11, 2011, 07:39:58 AM

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

Oh. . .Gino wrote it, alright. I can tell.

The mirror-image thing is cool, but the explanation and consequences are a little weird.

. "A genetic on-off switch present in our genome but not in our simian ancestors, probably tripped by the discohesion step."


Activating a gene? What would that have to do with anything? It's not like her body had to re-grow itself from an egg and sperm. . .

And if she writes bacwards and it looks right to her, then how come when she reads words they don't look backwards to her, as well? Seems like she would have noticed that, right away.

Her right thumb print should now be on her left hand, and reversed, so the door should not recognize it. And if she went into the the teleporter with heart monitors and stuff stuck to her skin, they should have been reversed, as well. Were they wireless? Did someone have to go reconnect them?

An enjoyable little exercise, but once again it suffers from over-explanation. Sounds like all she has to do is jump into the machine again, and get re-reversed.

Bill
"I am Susan Ivanova. . . .I am the Right Hand of Vengence. . .I am Death Incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me."
User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 1325

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Kentucky

Post May 11, 2011, 10:14:50 AM

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

Thank you Bill for having that analytical mind of yours. I read this and just didn't get it. It's kind of like Star Trek Classic's - 'Mirror, Mirror'. I think Twilight Zone also had a dealy where the scientists traded universes and laboratories on both sides were trying to trade them back.
This is a whole lotta talk (good dialog as always) for not a whole lotta payout - as far as a truly fresh idea. But Gino can pump out dialog with the best of them, for sure. I'm just looking for that truly new ending - the twist at the end that no one has ever thought of before - that surprise ending at the end of the writing rainbow.
Since the house is on fire - at least let us warm ourselves.

Senior Critic

Posts: 263

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: California

Post May 11, 2011, 12:16:14 PM

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

THANKS, BILL AND BOTTOMDWELLER. I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU GUYS FOR CONCISE AND VALID CRITIQUES. IN RETROSPECT IT DOES HAVE A SORT OF STAR TREK AND TWILIGHT ZONE FEEL TO IT. I THINK THERE WAS A SIMILAR OUTER LIMITS EPISODE AS WELL.

IF ANY OF YOU HAVE EVER WORKED AT A UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL AS I DID, YOU WILL NO DOUBT APPRECIATE MY ZINGER AT U.C.I. MEDICAL CENTER IN THE LAST CHAPTER.

gino

Senior Critic

Posts: 263

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: California

Post May 20, 2011, 07:19:28 PM

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

WHY IS THIS KIND OF GARBAGE ALLOWED TO CONTAMINATE OUR FORUM?

gino

Senior Critic

Posts: 263

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: California

Post May 21, 2011, 12:01:21 PM

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

THE SPAM HAS BEEN DELETED. THANK YOU.

gino

Return to April 2011

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests

cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.