Eat Me: My Dinner With….by Mark Edgemon and Robert Moriyama


Tell us what you thought of the September 2009 issue!

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Post September 23, 2009, 11:50:40 AM

I'm surprised that that 'that' annoyed bottomdweller...

Given that bottomdweller has such a clear idea of how Mark's pompous buffoon of a narrator SHOULD speak, I would have thought that excessive precision (no dropping of grammatically-correct conjunctions, please -- we're anal!) in his speech would have seemed entirely appropriate.

(Upon review, however, I think the "however" could be removed entirely.)

:twisted:
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Jack London (1876-1916)
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Post September 27, 2009, 11:41:01 PM

The opposite problem...

Don't feel bad, Mark. In the early stories in the Al Majius series, Al was something of a hapless buffoon (he and Janine, his wife, were at least somewhat modeled after Al and Peggy Bundy). When the stories took on a more serious tone (I blame Jim Butcher's Harry Dresden novels, and the later Harry Potter books), some people complained that they missed the magical screw-up element that provided some of the humor in the first two or three stories.

So in my case, they wanted more comedy -- in your case, they (or at least one reader) want(s) less!

(It seemed odd to me to say that a story would be more poignant if it had been told "straight", when even the title indicates that it is meant to be a farce, and poignancy wasn't what you were aiming for... but so it goes.)

RM
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Jack London (1876-1916)
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Post September 28, 2009, 02:26:16 PM

"Horrid"???

unforgibbon wrote:...PS - Hey Mark, I've overshot the 5,000-word limit and so I'll be mired in revisions for the next month desperately trying to trim the piece down. Well that and attempting to make the thing even remotely horrid.


Um, don't make it "horrid". I see enough "horrid" writing in the submissions queue. Make it gut-wrenchingly terrifying or horrifying instead. (Did you ever see the movie "The Cell"? They had a scene in that one that was literally gut-wrenching -- or perhaps gut-extracting-and-winding would be more precise...)

RM
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Jack London (1876-1916)
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Post September 29, 2009, 06:58:20 PM

Cut it out, or I'm turning this topic around.

If you kids don't settle down, there'll be no ice cream for ANYBODY tonight.

:evil:
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Jack London (1876-1916)
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Post October 05, 2009, 11:37:13 AM

Okay, that's it. No ice cream for anybody.

Could we PLEASE go comment on some of the other under-served stories instead of sniping here? (I really don't know which one was supposed to be the Christian and which one was supposed to be the atheist, and frankly, I don't care.)

:x
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Jack London (1876-1916)

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Post October 06, 2009, 10:22:23 AM

Reminds me of the time I got lost in West Virginia while looking for an old army buddy from the Viet-Nam war. I was on a Kawasaki 750 --two stroke twin--and just stopped at an old....

Always expect the un-expect! The natives seemed very nice and even friendly towards Sam the whole time they had him. And the big pot? Well spas do have different decor, some natural and others high tech and equipped with masseuses who have special power in their hands!!

The use of a large pot with vegetables adds realism as does the names. Good research. As I read the story, I got the feel that I were there, watching, feeling, and expecting.

The story is good as it stands. I enjoyed it, enjoyed the symbolism, enjoyed the humor very much---I always was a clown at work---and thought the writing effective with a pleasing rhythm.

“A large breasted native woman with an even larger snake draped around her neck came up to me and licked me on the cheek.”

This sentence has me baffled a little. Did the snake symbolize deceit? Or, just added for some realism. It was a very nice technique either way.

The poor natives just wanted a foreign cuisine---after all when you think about it, Sam probably took Geritol or some other vitamin supplement, had his usual medical shots, and even worked out. At least he hiked! Lean with a good muscle or two, and the native saw this!

When I retired, I thought I would have more time to write and visit Aphelion, read stories and critique. I have less time now! Everybody has me doing something like my oldest daughter who thinks I’m a ‘free’ contractor now to put down outside carpets, paint, remodel, or fix the car. I'm no contractor and no mechanic, but try telling my daughter that! I might have to return to work just to get some time off!
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Post October 06, 2009, 11:55:53 PM

I made a blunder about the motocycle. It was a 750 Kawasaki triple two stroker!! Boy could she blow out the oil. And fast? Well, in those days nothing could touch her in the quarter.

I'll be 61 this year and I can see that memory is starting to wan!!
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Post October 07, 2009, 09:51:41 AM

Perhaps it derives from the old joke...

Much though I hate to prolong this not-helping-the-authors thread, the giant pot image is an old one that dovetails neatly with the old (racist) joke:

What is an anthropophagus*'s favorite kind of soup?

Cannibal's Cream of Missionary!

(* literally, man-eater)
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)

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