Darkside


Tell us what you thought of the July 2009 issue!

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Post July 18, 2009, 07:10:35 PM

Darkside

Okay, so my powers of high flown vocabulary have left the coop, so I might as well write a topic starter to Darkside.

First Person Vernacular is a fairly rare diction style, because it has to be done in a believeable setting. Military mission reports work. Check.

Sux though that the last man and the last woman above earth couldn't get a little last fun in 'dem blinkie green lights.

Now everyone comment, because it kinda makes you cry you can't even threaten people with court martial if you're the only fella alive.

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Post July 20, 2009, 10:36:12 AM

The beginning of this piece was a little too flippant, a little too vernacular as Tao put it. But it quickly evened out and drew me in. I liked this story. Although such a narrow focus, even with the author's adroit use of the first person, would eventually tire me in a longer tale, it fit this short story and helped me empathize with the speaker's character.

I really liked how the author allowed the speaker to bluntly tell us that the situation was bleak and then went about showing us through the observed lives of the survivors.

Oh, and the ending was good too. Dark, sad, scary. Just what it should have been.



-- david j.
Check out my blog: http://wp.me/NXsO
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Post July 20, 2009, 12:59:08 PM

Unreliable narrator, again

One of the most interesting things about this story is the way it leads us to think of the narrator as one of the few entirely sane people on the base (if not the ONLY one)-- only to reveal that he has major issues of his own. You almost have to read the story again to see how HIS quirks have colored his assessments of the other personnel and of the situation as a whole...

RM
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

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Post July 20, 2009, 02:30:55 PM

Good one.
Guessed I was dealing with an unreliable narrator, just didn't know what kind...
Pacing kept me reading, not to mention trying to get to an anticipated twist ending. Got the twist, but not the one I expected.

One question, and this is not a problem with the story, I just missed it: can someone explain the significance and/or purpose of the Cpl Wu intercom "thing"?

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Post July 20, 2009, 02:49:41 PM

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe the spy was quoting poetry to the main character, which he ignored,through Wu's intercom or am I mixing up characters?


Oh, one other thing that I consider a minor quibble was that some items were shown to float in the 1/6 gravity of the moon. Maybe that was unintentional and I just read it wrong, but it seemed that way to me.

Still, a great story.


-- david j.
Check out my blog: http://wp.me/NXsO

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