Walking by Anthony Bell


Tell us what you thought about the March 2012 issue!

Moderator: Editors

User avatar

Long Fiction Editor

Posts: 2608

Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM

Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else

Post March 22, 2012, 07:58:02 PM

Walking by Anthony Bell

I found this one pretty good, which surprised me, seeing that there's hardly any dialog in it at all. But the rhythm of the narrative drives it along quite well.

I was somewhat confused about the sequence of events in the story; a good portion of the latter part of it is a flashback, but that isn't completely evident until the end.

Fairly well structured, with a decent plot and an exciting action sequence. Excellent setting description, which does double duty to set the mood. The characters come through quite well, considering the spare dialog and description of them.

Good job, overall.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 550

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Atlanta, GA

Post April 03, 2012, 04:35:36 PM

Re: Walking by Anthony Bell

This is my favorite story this month. Hopefully, people will read it. For some reason, the Serial stories tend to get less attention. However, I will say that it reads quickly. That’s a compliment.

As with Lester, I did get confused a couple times and had to reread the paragraph. I think this might be partially due to the story being written in present tense. I think the tense is fine but it’s not something readers are generally accustomed to. May need to clean up a couple places so they’re not as confusing.

Other than that, I really can’t find fault with this piece. Likable characters, nice description, excellent pacing. I thought the world was complete and believable.

Now that I think about it, I suppose the only other thing I’d question is the robots. Although there aren’t enough resources for machines, apparently there are for robots (which are just automated machines).

Return to March 2012

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.