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Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 22, 2012, 01:26:34 AM
by Lester Curtis
This is an excellent story. Over the years, I've encountered stories involving cats, and their roles in keeping -- things in their place. Funny, how appropriate that seems.

This story is scary, without trying to be, unlike the overt horror fiction that has no effect on me. And yet, the story is subtly comforting, or maybe comfortable, at the same time.

Brilliant piece of work. If it really is "to be continued," as it says, I'll be looking forward to the rest.

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 23, 2012, 11:05:06 AM
by AdariasWrath23
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I submitted this story because it received mixed reviews from my friends and family; they either loved it or hated it. I'm curious to see if this is a universal divide.

As for me, it's one of my favorites.

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 23, 2012, 12:14:49 PM
by Lester Curtis
I find it curious that anyone would hate this story . . . then again, there's a lot about the human species that continues to surprise me.

Is this indeed going to be continued?

And, off-topic, but it's a little spooky what our avatars are doing there, especially since I almost deleted your membership a little while ago, thinking you were another spammer. Good thing I remembered that you aren't.

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 23, 2012, 01:11:49 PM
by AdariasWrath23
Yeah... :oops: I need to be better about posting more frequently in the forum. I read most of the stories but am only inclined to post on occasion. Thanks for the non-delete.

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 23, 2012, 01:14:36 PM
by AdariasWrath23
And yes, I do have plans on continuing the story, though it's a bit back-burner at the moment.

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 23, 2012, 07:16:52 PM
by Robert_Moriyama
AdariasWrath23 wrote:And yes, I do have plans on continuing the story, though it's a bit back-burner at the moment.


So we might learn

How old is that cat? Is he immortal, or does he get replaced by some new kitty when he's no longer up to scaring the hell into whatever is Down There (or scaring it into hell)? Maybe he's like Harry Dresden's 'puppy' (a baby born (I think) of The Wild Huntsman's pack) and he only LOOKS and acts like a regular cat, but is actually something much more impressive. (Okay, a pissed off 'regular' cat IS pretty impressive. But still...)

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 23, 2012, 08:40:36 PM
by AdariasWrath23
I have a good idea of just what Warden is, exactly. I think everyone will be pleasantly surprised.

Here, I'll just tell you now.

He's...

a cat!

Ta da!

Just kidding. I'll be more creative. Promise.

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 23, 2012, 09:28:02 PM
by Lester Curtis
Oh, come on, Robert! You don't think he's called Warden for nothing, now, do ya?

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 24, 2012, 11:40:59 AM
by Robert_Moriyama
Lester Curtis wrote:Oh, come on, Robert! You don't think he's called Warden for nothing, now, do ya?


So he's named after a subway station in Toronto?

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 26, 2012, 04:38:34 PM
by bottomdweller
It has been said that when you write a story, it is best to go back and eliminate 1/3 of the words. Really, I thought some of this narrative was unnecessary. Like this high-schoolish phrase:
“from the whispered touch of the breeze” Really? It’s too much like of a cotton candy phrase.

And this sentence was confusing:
“Mary wondered, as she stepped out of the passenger's side of her aunt's car, if the sterile peace was reserved for the cemetery, and just beyond the iron fence she would feel the warm rays of the sun compounded as they reflected from one colorful building to another.”

Perhaps twisting it around would make it clearer: “As Mary stepped out from the passenger’s side of her aunt’s car, she wondered if the sterile peace was reserved for the cemetery – or if just beyond the iron fence she would feel the warm rays…”

“a melancholy phone call” really? – hey, we got it, don’t hit us over the head with it. She received a phone call would have been just as effective.

“As if sensing her unease, Frank pointed to Warden in explanation. "I take care of the cat."
As if on cue…” too many as ifs too close together, as if it’s okay to do that.

Most of the dialog was believable.

Honestly, it would be possible to turn this into one of those horrid ongoing, tween stories, but I liked the ending exactly where it was. It’s complete enough as it is – everything doesn’t need to be explained. The End

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 26, 2012, 07:01:49 PM
by AdariasWrath23
Excellent feedback. :) Thank you.

I have been experimenting with various genres and styles of writing. I like the descriptive language in this, but I see where you’re coming from. I just put down a Mercedes Lackey novel because it was way too narrative. Advice duly noted.

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 29, 2012, 12:16:15 PM
by Jaimie
Ms. Gillette possesses natural writing ability. It’s apparent in her prose and pacing. I, for one, enjoyed the lyrical cadence (e.g., the alliteration of “cast by clouds that slid stealthily across the sky”) that seemed to suit this particular piece. I know some people prefer a more minimalist approach, but I think that’s more a preference thing. I can be a bit wordy too.

My issue is more with the plot. It seemed a bit thin and incomplete (and that’s without the obvious TO BE CONTINUED at the end). There are a lot of dots that need to be connected. I’m not sure if the writer had an overarching design in mind or if it was just an organic exercise to see where things would go. Personally, I had to wonder why such monstrous portals needed to be watched by such fragile guardians.

I suspect that those that enjoy the story are enraptured with the wonderful prose and the detractors by the events in the story. For me, prose wins out over plot, so I liked it quite a bit.

Re: Dogwood Reveries by H. R. Gillette

PostPosted: March 29, 2012, 01:26:51 PM
by bottomdweller
I just don't want to see it devolve into 'let's find the old guy who is now in a separate dimension inside the Earth with the help from the cat who can turn into a giant fire-breathing tiger" thing. It would be too easy to turn this story into something silly like that.