A Bad Day For Fishing by Rory Steves


Moderator: Editors

User avatar

Long Fiction Editor

Posts: 2626

Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM

Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else

Post February 16, 2012, 11:12:43 PM

A Bad Day For Fishing by Rory Steves

That was weird . . . fun and exciting, too, but -- weird. Everything just comes out of nowhere, with no explanation. Plot weakness: too many conveniences; fabricating large clay pipes is made to seem like such a trouble-free task, not to mention building a jet turbine (which, by the way, you don't just switch on instantly).
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
User avatar

Editor Emeritus

Posts: 2379

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Post February 17, 2012, 01:32:12 AM

Re: A Bad Day For Fishing by Rory Steves

Lester Curtis wrote:That was weird . . . fun and exciting, too, but -- weird. Everything just comes out of nowhere, with no explanation. Plot weakness: too many conveniences; fabricating large clay pipes is made to seem like such a trouble-free task, not to mention building a jet turbine (which, by the way, you don't just switch on instantly).


Well, not a 21st-century human-tech turbine, you don't. But who knows what you can make with cannibalized alien-zoo and alien camping gear?
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)
User avatar

Long Fiction Editor

Posts: 2626

Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM

Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else

Post February 17, 2012, 02:55:59 AM

Re: A Bad Day For Fishing by Rory Steves

Yeah . . . and they don't have to worry about food or shelter, either . . . much too convenient. By all rights, they should be getting lazy.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
User avatar

Editor Emeritus

Posts: 2379

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Post February 17, 2012, 10:43:56 AM

Re: A Bad Day For Fishing by Rory Steves

Lester Curtis wrote:Yeah . . . and they don't have to worry about food or shelter, either . . . much too convenient. By all rights, they should be getting lazy.


There is the potential for a "Riverworld"-type scenario, with the disparate groups trying to find a way to get home (or at least to find those responsible)... also for conflict between different alliances. Odds are that species will show up (or have already, but are offstage) that will view some of the others as dumb animals suitable as a food source. Others may have an instinctive fear / hate for species that resemble natural enemies (humanoids and arachnid-types, felinoids and canoids, coyotes and roadrunners ...)
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)
User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 1312

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Kentucky

Post February 22, 2012, 05:40:28 PM

Re: A Bad Day For Fishing by Rory Steves

Now that was a fun read! I liked that it began with a simple camping trip - I know from experience that a hike in the woods can turn from recreational to terrifying almost instantly. Good call.
It was interestining that communicators just appeared - obviously on a bigger scale an unknown group was playing 'god'. I liked the differing species working together instead of just trying to kill each other - we're all basically the same - why can't we all just get along?
Very well written! Great dialog! Lots of fresh ideas.
I liked the closing paragraph very much - it leaves open the possibility that the situation will be resolved and that good old common sense and using the old noggen will prevale. It's a simple kind of moral but kind of comforting.
I liked it! All of it, beginning to end. Great read!
Since the house is on fire - at least let us warm ourselves.
User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 550

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Atlanta, GA

Post February 23, 2012, 03:29:15 PM

Re: A Bad Day For Fishing by Rory Steves

I agree with Lester. The story seemed very rushed. Part of the problem is that there is so much dialogue and short paragraphs. Granted, I have a large monitor, but none of the paragraphs spanned more than two lines and 90 percent were just one line. I felt I was reading a script. This is "talking heads" writing. It's sort of like telling instead of showing. There was action, but it was overwhelmed by the voices.

Although the term deus ex machina is bandied about too often in these forums, as Lester said, everything was just way too convenient. I also had an issue with the alien species. I understand that the translator could put the hearer's nuances another creature's actions, but besides some physical differences, they did not act alien at all. I think the writer did this on purpose (the alien family across the stream was almost a mirror image), but to me that's just unimaginative.

I also pictured Riverworld in my mind when I read the story. I could see Philip Jose Farmer write this.
"Even the straight arrow needs a crooked bow."
- Samani


jaimie l. elliott

[b:2o4dvkjg]Check out my website:[/b:2o4dvkjg]
http://www.jaimie.org/

Master Critic

Posts: 857

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Johnstown, Pa.

Post February 26, 2012, 03:28:05 PM

Re: A Bad Day For Fishing by Rory Steves

Loved it! It is refreshing to read about different species coming together for the common good. Now this story was entertaining, but it reminded me more of a Daniel Boone or Davy Crocket episode than Sci-Fi. Of course, Daniel Boone and Davy Crocket didn’t have a generator that turned solid matter into energy, but that really isn’t the point. Davy and Daniel like the Dad often thought ‘fast on their feet’ when confronted by enemies, at least the Hollywood versions always were portrayed that way. That’s the similarity I see in this story, and the fact that they were out in the wilderness.

This was a very nice almost humanistic story--even with aliens in it---about a family, the family dog, the kids, and new-found friends of a different species, and, they all work together in a human effort! Very entertaining!
Tesla Lives!!!

Return to February 2012

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.