The Mulligan Box by E. A. Moore


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Post February 16, 2012, 01:27:08 PM

The Mulligan Box by E. A. Moore

This is a very enjoyable story, very well written. The pacing is relaxed, and it just kind of floats along for the most part, though it does pull you up a little at the appropriate places. Nice, fresh phrasing. Very smooth. I liked the ending; I was halfway expecting something disastrous, but was pleasantly surprised.

One of the neat things about this is that the -- magic trick, if you will -- is only used once, and the way the story turns out, it can't be determined certainly that the box actually did anything at all.

Excellent job.
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Post February 18, 2012, 05:20:15 PM

Re: The Mulligan Box by E. A. Moore

A very nice, humanistic story about young people in love. And, we have a magic box that must symbolize ‘hope’ in a tangible sense, in which hope is real, and not just some abstract feeling or concept that bubbles up to the surface of our minds. But then again, maybe the box is just a box and nothing else, only the author knows for sure.

One mistake to point out: The author used ’They’re’ instead of ‘Their’ in the beginning of a paragraph, but in all honesty I can say this author has a very good command of language! Just a little editing need---like myself: Only I’m much worst!

The descriptions very good, and enough sensory input to feel and taste the aroma of breakfast during that one scene. Nice job!

I agree with Jamie’s critique about showing versus telling. More showing in the story---it takes more time to write scenes that show---would have really polished this one off.

Nice job
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Post February 27, 2012, 04:05:45 PM

Re: The Mulligan Box by E. A. Moore

Well, they don't call it a foreign language for nothing . . . of course, I'm sure a native speaker of Latin would say the same about English! :lol:
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Post February 28, 2012, 01:27:00 PM

Re: The Mulligan Box by E. A. Moore

vates wrote:
Lester Curtis wrote:Well, they don't call it a foreign language for nothing . . . of course, I'm sure a native speaker of Latin would say the same about English

Yes, I guess they'd have - using terms like 'lingua barbarorum'.


That's the language spoken by Vinnie Barbarino, among others.
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Post February 29, 2012, 02:49:35 PM

Re: The Mulligan Box by E. A. Moore

vates wrote:
Lester Curtis wrote:Well, they don't call it a foreign language for nothing

It is but a foreign language
So a story you when write
Let that be to your advantage
There's no need to get it right


Did I get your meaning?

v.

Mmm, no . . . if you're going to use a foreign language in a story, you should get it right -- same as whatever science you refer to (or beware the fury of the Wolfe).
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Post March 06, 2012, 07:58:58 PM

Re: romanes eunt domus

Bill_Wolfe wrote:...Though why anyone would write a warning in an anagram, is beyond my comprehension. Kind'a defeats the purpose, don't you think?...
Bill


Heh. Made me think of the mysterious journal with the note attached "DO NOT READ" (from the story of the same name). Of course, in that story, the purpose was to absolutely guarantee that the victim WOULD read the book...

As for the quality of the Latin -- could be worse. Could be Harry Potter or Harry Dresden pseudo-Latin... (I love both series, but I retain just enough from my five years of high school Latin to know it ain't kosher.) In my Al Majius stories, the Rumanian and Hebrew and Arabic words are authentic, but the grammar is poor or downright non-existent (slightly better than the assembly instructions from a cheap (or even an expensive) toy or hunk of furniture, but not much).
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Post March 06, 2012, 09:33:48 PM

Re: The Mulligan Box by E. A. Moore

vates wrote:
Lester Curtis wrote:Well, they don't call it a foreign language for nothing . . . of course, I'm sure a native speaker of Latin would say the same about English

Yes, I guess they'd have - using terms like 'lingua barbarorum'.

Maybe more likely "lingua illigitimi." And I'm pretty sure I've bastardized that.
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