Cult of the Blue Assassins by Jim Alciere


Tell us what you thought about the December 2011 issue.

Moderator: Editors

Master Critic

Posts: 903

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Johnstown, Pa.

Post December 30, 2011, 09:20:15 PM

Cult of the Blue Assassins by Jim Alciere

I liked it! Yet, it was almost all telling with no showing. But I did like the story-book-like feel that unfolded before my eyes. We have Ba’ar from another dimension! who has developed rocket technology that suggests she might be of Chinese origin.

The young men in blue-robes might have symbolized the Ninja, since the Ninja’s were nothing but hired murders. Some authorities cite that the Ninja were only superficially trained in the arts of war, and were no match for a samurai! I don’t really know about this since Hollywood has changed history too often on screen. And many academics are of opposing opinions about history and what was true.

The only suggesting I have to offer is a little more sensory input. Show how the heat from the ‘Chrysanthemum Rockets’ washed over faces and how the enemy felt when the heat radiated out. One thing I learned over the years is to interject the correct amount of sensory input! Too much, takes away, too little gives nothing, but the right mixture can help place the reader into the story!

Just some ideas.

A good one!!!
Tesla Lives!!!
User avatar

Long Fiction Editor

Posts: 2700

Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM

Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else

Post January 02, 2012, 01:44:49 AM

Re: Cult of the Blue Assassins by Jim Alciere

I enjoyed the wry wit running through this story. Statements like:
Drunks didn't live long in primitive cultures.
and the stuff about the barbarians and their mushrooms. Lots of fun.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

Return to December 2011

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.