Ramifications by Nurul Fateha


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Post December 06, 2011, 11:08:42 AM

Ramifications by Nurul Fateha

This story reminded me of a show called "Dead Like Me" (I believe), where certain people become reapers and live amongst us to ferry the dead to the other side. It was amusing and charming, and did not see the revelation in it coming. Very enjoyable.
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Post December 06, 2011, 12:26:47 PM

Re: Ramifications by Nurul Fateha

Iskoday wrote:This story reminded me of a show called "Dead Like Me" (I believe), where certain people become reapers and live amongst us to ferry the dead to the other side. It was amusing and charming, and did not see the revelation in it coming. Very enjoyable.


Nurul wouldn't let me use the word "reaper" in my proposed edited version. She prefers to use the term "death" (although most of us subscribe to the "one Death, many reapers" model of the life-to-afterlife supernatural transition business). George -- a great name for a reluctant reaper (in the TV series)... and any show with Mandy Patinkin must be entertaining.
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Post December 06, 2011, 02:58:33 PM

Re: Ramifications by Nurul Fateha

This is an old story – but it’s cool because the author has some style. He even tells the reader that he realizes it’s an old story.

“I have read this in books, seen this in movies- how you're the last person to be aware that…”

What sets this apart from being hum-drum is that it’s crisp and new and fresh. It gets to the point – the main character is off kilter for a minute, but the story doesn’t drag on FOREVER before the obvious is revealed.

The main character is understandable, knowable.

“I don't answer. I don't have an answer. All I have are excuses. I know I should not text while driving (or speeding). I know I should have pulled over to the shoulder but I did not. I always believe (perhaps I have been delusional all this while) that in fact, I am able to text while driving. In my defense, everyone does it anyway.”

Truly, I’ve done stupid stuff myself, and everyone rationalizes about doing stupid stuff. I believe this guy, I understand him. I like this guy, even though I know he’s an arrogant well-you-know…rather like that Arthur Dent fellow – a bit dense, but mellow enough, and adaptable.

I like the fact that the author talks in terms of kilometers instead of miles (maybe European).

I like the fact that neither of the characters get preachy - although it could definately happen in a story about this subject matter. But really, people, DO NOT text and drive - it IS way to dangerous, for real.

It’s rather like when an American (like myself) has a conversation with someone who is English, and you just wish they’d keep talking because you like their accent, the way they put their words together. Style, that’s what a good story is about, even if the plot is the oldest one on Earth.
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Post December 07, 2011, 07:48:15 AM

Re: Ramifications by Nurul Fateha

It was amusing but I thought Death was a bit of a dick for letting the MC think he might have hurt him.

Also, texting whilst driving; how stupid do you have to be?! Well obviously, quite stupid, but it does happen.

bottomdweller wrote:It’s rather like when an American (like myself) has a conversation with someone who is English, and you just wish they’d keep talking because you like their accent, the way they put their words together. Style, that’s what a good story is about, even if the plot is the oldest one on Earth.


It is something of a curse to have an English accent in America. Conversations tended to follow these lines...

Verse: <says something>
'merkin: Oh Gee, you're English. I love your accent.
Verse: Thank you.
'merkin: My <insert distant relative here> lives in <insert some part of the England>, do you know him?
Verse: Um, no.

Because, England is geographically quite small in comparison to the US, many 'merkins I met seemed to think we all know each other. It was odd and got tiring quite quickly. I'm afraid I started to troll them.

Verse: <says something>
'merkin: Oh Gee, you're English. I love your accent.
Verse: Thank you.
'merkin: My second cousin twice-removed, Franklyn, lives in East Grimstead, do you know him?
Verse: Franklyn... Big fella, slight American accent?
'merkin: Yep!
Verse: Sure, I know Franklyn. Of course, she's called Francine now. You should see her in high-heels. Mind you, her boyfriend is a real freak.
'merkin: <stunned silence>

Was I very bad?
Last edited by Verse on December 07, 2011, 10:18:55 AM, edited 1 time in total.
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Post December 07, 2011, 10:13:15 AM

Re: Ramifications by Nurul Fateha

You're (not your) very bad for calling us Merkins. Merkins. It's okay - say something in English - wait a minute, that's the language I speak!
Really, in 400 years we'll need translators to understand those across the pond.
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Post December 07, 2011, 10:59:49 AM

Re: Ramifications by Nurul Fateha

bottomdweller wrote:You're (not your) very bad for calling us Merkins. Merkins. It's okay - say something in English - wait a minute, that's the language I speak!
Really, in 400 years we'll need translators to understand those across the pond.


As opposed to (say) Cajuns or folks from the deep South versus Bostonians? And let's not even think about really dense Cockney, Yorkshire, Scots, or Irish dialects, which are all mutually unintelligible.

(Canajuns, on the other hand, tend to have 'mid-Atlantic' newscaster accents for the most part... aside from Quebec, New Brunswick (which is officially bilingual), and Newfoundland (where accents seem to be heavily influenced by a strong Irish component). Pay no attention to Cobie Smulders (who really is from Canada) when she does her 'aboot the hoose' faux-Canuck schtick on "How I Met Your Mother"...)

People from different parts of the world have very different styles, even if they are fully fluent in English. Italians (Sergio for one) tend to be florid and colorful; folks from South Asia (India, Pakistan, ...) have a quite distinctive set of idiomatic expressions and sentence structures even when their use of English may be technically better than 'ours' (North Americans). I tend to be rather fussy and often "fix" things like that when they are not necessarily "broken". (Hooray for dull gray uniformity!)
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Post December 07, 2011, 12:10:26 PM

Re: Ramifications by Nurul Fateha

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merkin

BAD dog! Go lay down!

Just kidding -- a marvelous little play on words, and two wicked insults for the price of one!
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Post December 10, 2011, 04:12:31 PM

Re: Ramifications by Nurul Fateha

This story is an old theme but I liked it. The intro grabs your attention and holds it which is fundamental in the opening of a story. But more should be added---the old sensory inputs that can suck the reader into the scene.

After an accident, your heart will be pounding, your head will be spinning, and if you’ve been knocked down, you’ll feel the brush-burns and sore-spots from the fall. And remember the weather of the day: Hot, cold, sunny, rainy, snowy, etc. Little things often go a long way. We don’t have to deluge the reader with sensory inputs, but the right amount will add to the reading experience, significantly!

Having the Grim-Reaper dressed as a regular human showed how the old theme was made more modern, since so many people wear jeans today. And to see the Grim-Reaper in jeans would be an eye-opener!!

Nice little read---I liked it!!!
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