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The Body Surfer by Edward Ahern

PostPosted: October 28, 2011, 12:05:54 AM
by Lester Curtis
I didn't really care for this story . . . it's too -- thick. It reads like stream-of-consciousness narrative (which I suppose most of it is) and a very little of that goes a very long way. I did understand what was going on by the end of it, but that didn't help it much. Too hard slogging through the incomprehensible on the way. I'd suggest changing the viewpoint more, to give the reader a break. That, or make the incomprehensible parts a little less so.

Re: The Body Surfer by Edward Ahern

PostPosted: October 28, 2011, 03:25:01 PM
by bottomdweller
I liked this story because its style is fresh, at least to me. I enjoyed the detail of a personality riding from one mind to the next.
Danton swirls, spinning a sealed cocoon. Khalil will never know he is being ridden. Danton waits. He cannot sleep, but shrivels his thoughts, aware only of the host sensations. Body temperature rises slightly. The gray light of false dawn seeps into the room.
The way the fleas journey is presented makes it almost plausible. Within a few generations it should be possible to download minds into brains - at least digital brains.
The ending summed things up nicely, and was surprisingly reflective. I enjoyed this story, but thought it was a little long and overdone in the middle - agreeing some with Lester. But then again, I don't want to be the one to tell Mozart that his opera has 'too many notes'.