The Body Surfer by Edward Ahern


Tell us what you thought about the October 2011 issue

Moderator: Editors

User avatar

Long Fiction Editor

Posts: 2614

Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM

Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else

Post October 28, 2011, 12:05:54 AM

The Body Surfer by Edward Ahern

I didn't really care for this story . . . it's too -- thick. It reads like stream-of-consciousness narrative (which I suppose most of it is) and a very little of that goes a very long way. I did understand what was going on by the end of it, but that didn't help it much. Too hard slogging through the incomprehensible on the way. I'd suggest changing the viewpoint more, to give the reader a break. That, or make the incomprehensible parts a little less so.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 1305

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Kentucky

Post October 28, 2011, 03:25:01 PM

Re: The Body Surfer by Edward Ahern

I liked this story because its style is fresh, at least to me. I enjoyed the detail of a personality riding from one mind to the next.
Danton swirls, spinning a sealed cocoon. Khalil will never know he is being ridden. Danton waits. He cannot sleep, but shrivels his thoughts, aware only of the host sensations. Body temperature rises slightly. The gray light of false dawn seeps into the room.
The way the fleas journey is presented makes it almost plausible. Within a few generations it should be possible to download minds into brains - at least digital brains.
The ending summed things up nicely, and was surprisingly reflective. I enjoyed this story, but thought it was a little long and overdone in the middle - agreeing some with Lester. But then again, I don't want to be the one to tell Mozart that his opera has 'too many notes'.
Interesting.
Since the house is on fire - at least let us warm ourselves.

Return to October 2011

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.