Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You


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Post October 18, 2011, 07:42:07 AM

Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

Hmm. This installment is a shade facile for my taste. It's probably good advice, I sure do struggle with being cranky when tired. But there's some modern downsides to those hallowed old words. In the spirit of Green Room discussions that raise post counts, here we go!

"Thank you" - and its little brother "Thanks," (Comma left in.)

"Thank You" seems to have become too formal for a lot of uses, at least in my area. "Your pen ran out of ink? Here's one." "Thank You" seems a little heavy. Seems to me the faster & lighter "Thanks" is sweeping up from behind the race. Or consider emails. We fire off between 5 and 100 emails a day. How do each of yours end? My "default choice" is "Thanks," (Followed by a name). I try to save the Double Word version for "Oh Dear Gawd you bailed me out."

"You're Welcome" got a brilliant new spin with the Saturday Night Live skits of The Company Computer Guy. I don't ever say "You're Welcome", especially after all the 100 emailed "Thanks". I try a little bit of a switchup, often with "Sure!".

"Please" is getting trickier too. It's becoming the standard email pattern too, because if I/you don't include it, it looks like an authoritative command. Then there's the Executive Please. "Hello everyone. We are facing hard times, and can't make payroll, so please pick your choice of weeks for unpaid vacation. Thanks, The Boss."

Thanks!
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Post October 18, 2011, 04:35:01 PM

Re: Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

TaoPhoenix is right on cue. If I say 'thank you' it's more like, "well thank YOU for spreading so many stupid lies about me so that now EVERYONE thinks I'm a..." You get the idea. I always say 'Thanks, Michele' in my email, followed by a little verse a person can take with them like -
'Let the glory of the might rise from the ashes of the weak'
or something like that.
Thanks, TaoPhoenix, for bringing this up.
Since the house is on fire - at least let us warm ourselves.
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Post October 18, 2011, 06:00:40 PM

Re: Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

That's odd, because I am deliberately more formal in my correspondence (and anal about my grammar!) I think this is a (subconscious?) response to the wave of informality and *shudder* txtspik which I see engulfing e-mail communications.

Regards,

Iain
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Post October 18, 2011, 09:49:10 PM

Re: Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

First, for someone to be pissed ff enough to hit me for my writing, they'd have to travel the distance from where ever. And, I would assume, by the time they arrived they be too fagged out from all the traffic, hungry and confused by the byzantine roads, construction, and other anti-destination obstructions, that to even remember why they were here in the first place would be an effort of major concentration and dedication.

Now regarding greetings, salutations and polite good-byes in email, like letters in past, they are butt (sic) formalities. More people are writing today than ever before. And if one is cranking out note after note letter after letter, then the formality of the process takes over from the true feeling. And like "Hello nice weather we're having, or "Nice to see you" it serves a purpose.

The "Very truly yours" was and still is a lot of bullshit to me unless it comes from someone that I know means it.

So Bottomboozers little missives of common sense and political wisdom are refreshing additions to the VRs and what have you.

I personally think a new york "hello" works just fine at times.

In a more serious tone I actually end some of my letters with :Sincerely, RST

It's a bit old fashion but it conveys a feeling. I mean it too, when I use it.

So that's my addition to this polite discussion on grammar, manners and the art of letter writing.

BTW if the person is still pissed by the time they reach my door a number of things are possible:
I don't answer it,
I invite that person to a good Italian meal,
I point a SIG 380, a 19c at a space between his or her eyes and ask them to leave the threshold of my home,
I fart in his general direction,
I go to the Italian eatery of my choice, leaving by my back door, and enjoy a good meal by myself while let the stupid SOB stand there till hell freezes.

Or

from the ramparts of my castle, I order my minions to prepare for the siege, then then pour boiling oil and other stinky stuff upon said idiots head.

And then like most illiterate warriors of old ,after pillaging, raping, and looting, I return to my castle fortress, and get stinking drunk.

Thank you all for listening,

VR,

AMF,

Sincerely,

(your name here)
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Post October 18, 2011, 10:35:46 PM

Re: Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

rick tornello wrote:AMF,


All MY Family??!! OMG!!!!!! ty ty ty ty!!!!!

-- no, but seriously -- I smile and do the formal two word 'thank you' to anyone who does anything when I'm out among 'em. Mostly store clerks. Sometimes I wonder if they think I'm being sarcastic, but most of them seem to take it at face value, and I enjoy a little banter with them sometimes. I use them, too; if I haven't found what I want on the first pass, I'll hunt down someone in store livery and ask. And they get thanked with both words.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
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Post October 19, 2011, 08:53:25 AM

Re: Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

If you think I'm joking about only saying 'thank you' when I'm being satirical, please read the following, hot off the press. It is in response to a criticism I just received, and am unable to attack directly.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I will immediately check out the tackle boxes. Thanks again, Michele

From: (name withheld)
Sent: Tuesday, October 18, 2011 4:38 PM
To: Michele Dutcher
Cc: Subject: Tackle Boxes
October 18, 2011

Dear Michele, Please check all of the tackle boxes to make sure they are stocked properly. The one sent to the registration desk at Annual Meeting did not have AA and AAA batteries stocked.

Since the house is on fire - at least let us warm ourselves.
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Post October 19, 2011, 12:27:00 PM

Re: Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

Bottomboozer

Big deal, your mother taught you manners.

Now that you sent that ever so polite note, you may ignore them.

Customer service 101

V/R, (barf)

RT
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Post October 19, 2011, 08:02:08 PM

Re: Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

rick tornello wrote: from the ramparts of my castle, I order my minions to prepare for the siege, then then pour boiling oil and other stinky stuff upon said idiots head.

"I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries" (sorry, couldn't help it. Monty Python is hardwired into my DNA by now)
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Post October 19, 2011, 08:22:20 PM

Re: Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

re monty python


ME TOO, You find a reference to one of their naughty bits here and there in some of my short stories. I make call a castle the Castle Anthrax or some such; that and Catch -22, and Firesign Theater.

RT

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Post October 22, 2011, 03:01:41 AM

Re: Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

Reverse the order!

rick tornello wrote:
I point a SIG 380, a 19c at a space between his or her eyes and ...I invite that person to a good Italian meal!

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Post October 22, 2011, 03:03:04 AM

Re: Thoughts on Writing #33: Not Making People Hit You

Meanwhile, a couple good use cases came up.

Responding to customer complaints
Bidding for work
Store Clerks/Waiters/_____

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