Blowback by Richard Tornello


Tell us what you thought about the May 2011 issue.

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Post May 30, 2011, 08:20:16 PM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

"Revenge is a dish best served cold . . . "

Great story, Rick. The detail, characterization, and clipped delivery put a fresh face on a well-used plot (used quite well in this case).

p.s. -- Rick, that Russian revolver is a Nagant, if I'm not mistaken. It has the distinction of being about the only revolver that can get any benefit from a silencer.
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Post June 02, 2011, 10:22:48 AM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

Now here’s a story that should be re-read a number of times. It was captivating from beginning to end. A story that holds one’s attention with fluid narration and dialogue that sounds real is number one in my book. What else do we want out of a story? Entertainment at it’s best--- for a story existed for itself! I believe Edgar Allen Poe said that, and what was true then is still important today.

In the second sentence, notice how ‘Well, more banging then knocking’ restates the first sentence, yet magnifies the first sentence into something we can almost hear! Very good technique!!

He used adverb but they worked: Added to the story and didn’t just take up space.

Rick’s knowledge of guns and how to handle them worked in this story, and any reader who is familiar with firearms would not find anything to kit-pick about.

Possible improvement might be a little more sensory input----more sounds, and odors.

When Nancy realizes how strange Mr. Titillo is, a little sweat on Nancy, and maybe the room feeling a bit warmer might add to the suspense created at the moment. These are just some off-the-top-of-my-head suggestion and might not really added anything. But they are something to muse over.

A great story!! Entertaining and that is what a story should do!!!!
Tesla Lives!!!

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Post June 02, 2011, 10:25:13 AM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

Megawatts wrote:Now here’s a story that should be re-read a number of times. It was captivating from beginning to end. A story that holds one’s attention with fluid narration and dialogue that sounds real is number one in my book. What else do we want out of a story? Entertainment at it’s best--- for a story exists for itself! I believe Edgar Allen Poe said that, and what was true then is still important today.

In the second sentence, notice how ‘Well, more banging then knocking’ restates the first sentence, yet magnifies the first sentence into something we can almost hear! Very good technique!!

He used adverb but they worked: Added to the story and didn’t just take up space.

Rick’s knowledge of guns and how to handle them worked in this story, and any reader who is familiar with firearms would not find anything to kit-pick about.

Possible improvement might be a little more sensory input----more sounds, and odors.

When Nancy realizes how strange Mr. Titillo is, a little sweat on Nancy, and maybe the room feeling a bit warmer might add to the suspense created at the moment. These are just some off-the-top-of-my-head suggestion and might not really added anything. But they are something to muse over.

A great story!! Entertaining and that is what a story should do!!!!
Tesla Lives!!!

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