Blowback by Richard Tornello


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Post May 24, 2011, 01:00:10 PM

Blowback by Richard Tornello

Blowback by Richard Tornello

I enjoyed the Sam Spade grittiness of the main character:

“I wake to very heavy knocking on my condo door. Well, more banging than knocking. What is it this time? I've got rugs, the XM Radio is low, and the cats are not chasing each other.
I'm still half asleep. "Hang on, Hang on, I'm coming." It has to be someone in the condo. The Concierge would have called ahead before he let a visitor into the building.
I open the door, not even bothering to check the security viewer. There, in front of me, taking up most of the entrance, is one well dressed human, holding a badge.”

A lot of the dialog and the action are quietly insinuated – I like that, as well:

“It's New Jersey, nothing is odd there. I sip my coffee and give him the so go on.”

Nice detail:

“He states, "A Glock 19 C and a Sig P239 and a Sig P210-5, if I'm not mistaken." It's not a question. He's done his homework.
"Yes again. I sold the P210-5 a few years back when I stopped competing IPSC and Bulls Eye. I have the records if you want to track it. By-the-way, you forgot to list the FWB and Pardini."”

Here’s the nice quirky twist, that thing that sets this story aside as a nicely written tale. Forget paradoxes – or other timelines blowing up the future. It doesn’t try to explain it, it just eliminates the obstacles. Nice! :

“So did four others, what a rush! We each got to pick a time and place in our own past. There would be no jumping to some other reality or past that was not directly related to our lives. The final caveats were no drastic changes to history allowed. We were given a few hours and no one would ever validate this activity. So what ever happened, happened and that would be that. There were no other restrictions.”

This is a fun, gritty tale about an opportunity all of wish we could be privy to: changing our past.
Since the house is on fire - at least let us warm ourselves.
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Post May 29, 2011, 04:56:57 AM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

Rick,

Good story. The dialogue is quite normal, in this one. The characters actually sound like real people. . .mostly.

I liked the easy banter about the pistols. I know a lot of gun freaks, and they tend to use nicknames, and partial words to describe their toys.

'My 800 Mossy has a smoother action than the Winchester-five, but I like the sights on the Bernelli, better.'

That kind of thing.

The familiarity with the implements of death and destruction shows. When they say 'Write what you know.' They mean it. (Whoever 'they' are. . .)

It's also a story about something we'd all like to do. Go back in time and get rid of that one jerk who made our lives miserable.

In my case, I'd need to reload.

Twice.

Excellent tale, man.

Bill
"I am Susan Ivanova. . . .I am the Right Hand of Vengence. . .I am Death Incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me."
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Post May 29, 2011, 11:45:28 AM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

Bill and Michele, thank you both for your comments.

As for going back in time, after writing this story, I had a feeling of calm.

Bill I suggest you take an IPSC class, this way you won't have to reload, unless of course there are more than a magazine full. Double stack, SIG or GLOCK, excellent machines and reliable. Or get a PARDINI if your hands are large, and I do mean large.

I used to compete but the lead content in my blood from painting, racing, and shooting got to be too much. Dr.'s orders, gout.
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Post May 30, 2011, 05:05:13 PM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

rick tornello wrote:Bill I suggest you take an IPSC class, this way you won't have to reload, unless of course there are more than a magazine full. Double stack, SIG or GLOCK, excellent machines and reliable. Or get a PARDINI if your hands are large, and I do mean large.


Rick,

Think small hands. Very very very small.

So small that a Ruger Security-six Nine mil will suffice as my favorite sidearm . . .

Yeah, that small.

Don't forget my saying. . . ."The smaller the hand. . . ."

So yeah, I'd have to reload, . . . . .
twice

NOT because I'm a bad shot. I'm just in a target rich, environment.

You know what I mean?

Bill
"I am Susan Ivanova. . . .I am the Right Hand of Vengence. . .I am Death Incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me."
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Post May 30, 2011, 05:27:09 PM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

As a CCW or open carry? I can't see it as a CCW. The SIG 238 is a good CCW and will not bite back in training like the other mini 380's.

I'm not into wheel guns. Too dirty. Though you won't have spent casings to haunt you as in Blow Back, unless you have to eject and speed load. The Russians developed one where a sheath covered the barrel for each shot, thereby preventing soot and lead from escaping from the gap between the wheel and the barrel. I've never seen one. It would be interesting to see how they made that system work.

RT
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Post May 30, 2011, 08:20:16 PM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

"Revenge is a dish best served cold . . . "

Great story, Rick. The detail, characterization, and clipped delivery put a fresh face on a well-used plot (used quite well in this case).

p.s. -- Rick, that Russian revolver is a Nagant, if I'm not mistaken. It has the distinction of being about the only revolver that can get any benefit from a silencer.
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Post May 30, 2011, 09:53:31 PM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

Rick,

Gotta say,

Wheel guns rule!

When, really do you need more than one in the pineal?

Really?

I mean. . .one in the third eye. . . what else is important?

Talk about a target rich environment.

Dead center forehead is the only target I shoot for. What other is there? Really?

Double Tap to center mass is all well and good.

But it doesn't settle the question, does it?


Single Tap, pineal (center forehead) does. . . . . .. . . . .

BW
"I am Susan Ivanova. . . .I am the Right Hand of Vengence. . .I am Death Incarnate, and the last living thing that you are ever going to see. God sent me."

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Post June 02, 2011, 10:22:48 AM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

Now here’s a story that should be re-read a number of times. It was captivating from beginning to end. A story that holds one’s attention with fluid narration and dialogue that sounds real is number one in my book. What else do we want out of a story? Entertainment at it’s best--- for a story existed for itself! I believe Edgar Allen Poe said that, and what was true then is still important today.

In the second sentence, notice how ‘Well, more banging then knocking’ restates the first sentence, yet magnifies the first sentence into something we can almost hear! Very good technique!!

He used adverb but they worked: Added to the story and didn’t just take up space.

Rick’s knowledge of guns and how to handle them worked in this story, and any reader who is familiar with firearms would not find anything to kit-pick about.

Possible improvement might be a little more sensory input----more sounds, and odors.

When Nancy realizes how strange Mr. Titillo is, a little sweat on Nancy, and maybe the room feeling a bit warmer might add to the suspense created at the moment. These are just some off-the-top-of-my-head suggestion and might not really added anything. But they are something to muse over.

A great story!! Entertaining and that is what a story should do!!!!
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Post June 02, 2011, 10:25:13 AM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

Megawatts wrote:Now here’s a story that should be re-read a number of times. It was captivating from beginning to end. A story that holds one’s attention with fluid narration and dialogue that sounds real is number one in my book. What else do we want out of a story? Entertainment at it’s best--- for a story exists for itself! I believe Edgar Allen Poe said that, and what was true then is still important today.

In the second sentence, notice how ‘Well, more banging then knocking’ restates the first sentence, yet magnifies the first sentence into something we can almost hear! Very good technique!!

He used adverb but they worked: Added to the story and didn’t just take up space.

Rick’s knowledge of guns and how to handle them worked in this story, and any reader who is familiar with firearms would not find anything to kit-pick about.

Possible improvement might be a little more sensory input----more sounds, and odors.

When Nancy realizes how strange Mr. Titillo is, a little sweat on Nancy, and maybe the room feeling a bit warmer might add to the suspense created at the moment. These are just some off-the-top-of-my-head suggestion and might not really added anything. But they are something to muse over.

A great story!! Entertaining and that is what a story should do!!!!
Tesla Lives!!!
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Post June 02, 2011, 12:08:58 PM

Re: Blowback by Richard Tornello

Megawatts

Thanks and the suggestions, I may add a few of them to a revision. I like your comments.

I even appreciate bad comments, cause they make me think about the why behind them.

RT

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