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Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 09, 2011, 01:17:22 PM
by Iskoday
I got a little lost in the story, in regards to the characters. The consequence of the teleportation was funny, but I wonder what actual consequences would occur if this transpired.

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 10, 2011, 11:54:53 AM
by gino_ss
ONE CONSEQUENCE WOULD BE THE CRITIQUE OF UNIVERSITY BUREAUCRACY IN THE LAST FEW PARAGRAPHS.

MY OWN CRITICISM OF THIS STORY WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST ASK BETH TO SIGN A NEW FORM WHILE EVERYONE WAS WATCHING.

FORGIVE THE CAPS. THESE ANCIENT EYEBALLS HAVE PROBLEMS WITH 12 AND 14 FONT PRINT ANY MORE.

gino

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 10, 2011, 07:16:18 PM
by Iskoday
Gino, didn't you write this?

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 11, 2011, 07:39:58 AM
by Bill_Wolfe
Oh. . .Gino wrote it, alright. I can tell.

The mirror-image thing is cool, but the explanation and consequences are a little weird.

. "A genetic on-off switch present in our genome but not in our simian ancestors, probably tripped by the discohesion step."


Activating a gene? What would that have to do with anything? It's not like her body had to re-grow itself from an egg and sperm. . .

And if she writes bacwards and it looks right to her, then how come when she reads words they don't look backwards to her, as well? Seems like she would have noticed that, right away.

Her right thumb print should now be on her left hand, and reversed, so the door should not recognize it. And if she went into the the teleporter with heart monitors and stuff stuck to her skin, they should have been reversed, as well. Were they wireless? Did someone have to go reconnect them?

An enjoyable little exercise, but once again it suffers from over-explanation. Sounds like all she has to do is jump into the machine again, and get re-reversed.

Bill

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 11, 2011, 10:14:50 AM
by bottomdweller
Thank you Bill for having that analytical mind of yours. I read this and just didn't get it. It's kind of like Star Trek Classic's - 'Mirror, Mirror'. I think Twilight Zone also had a dealy where the scientists traded universes and laboratories on both sides were trying to trade them back.
This is a whole lotta talk (good dialog as always) for not a whole lotta payout - as far as a truly fresh idea. But Gino can pump out dialog with the best of them, for sure. I'm just looking for that truly new ending - the twist at the end that no one has ever thought of before - that surprise ending at the end of the writing rainbow.

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 11, 2011, 12:16:14 PM
by gino_ss
THANKS, BILL AND BOTTOMDWELLER. I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU GUYS FOR CONCISE AND VALID CRITIQUES. IN RETROSPECT IT DOES HAVE A SORT OF STAR TREK AND TWILIGHT ZONE FEEL TO IT. I THINK THERE WAS A SIMILAR OUTER LIMITS EPISODE AS WELL.

IF ANY OF YOU HAVE EVER WORKED AT A UNIVERSITY HOSPITAL AS I DID, YOU WILL NO DOUBT APPRECIATE MY ZINGER AT U.C.I. MEDICAL CENTER IN THE LAST CHAPTER.

gino

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 20, 2011, 07:19:28 PM
by gino_ss
WHY IS THIS KIND OF GARBAGE ALLOWED TO CONTAMINATE OUR FORUM?

gino

Re: Rapid Transit by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 21, 2011, 12:01:21 PM
by gino_ss
THE SPAM HAS BEEN DELETED. THANK YOU.

gino