Jack and the Box by L. K. Pinaire

Tell us what you thought about the December 2010 issue!

User avatar

Long Fiction Editor

Posts: 2723

Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM

Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else

Post January 06, 2011, 09:39:25 PM

Jack and the Box by L. K. Pinaire

I kind of want to like this; it's sort of a variant on the genie-in-the-lamp theme, and has some interesting twists. But the action and characterization are weird and not very consistent, and the whole thing has a kind of disjointed feel about it.

I don't get the sense of horror from it where I know it should be, and a lot of the small events occur without any explanation.

This story has potential, but needs reworked to be more coherent.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
User avatar


Posts: 39

Joined: September 24, 2010, 04:14:05 AM

Post January 09, 2011, 03:20:32 AM

Well I read it... Wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Umm...

A man digs up a box in his garden that gives him unimaginable power... Isn't that a little bit Deus Ex Machina? Why should this man be granted this power? And why should it come with a demon who wants to eat his soul?

I think it's a bit like what Carl Sagan said: "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof." He dug up a magic box. In his back yard? O rly?
che frances monro - http://www.chemonro.com

Return to December 2010

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.