Change is Hard

Tell us what you thought of the June 2010 issue!

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Post July 05, 2010, 11:03:42 AM

Change is Hard

After getting through the first three paragraphs, the rest of this story is a delight. It is CSI meets ancient oriental dragon. I liked the modern tone of the piece, using modern techniques to zone in on the killer. Getting to know the whole secret society with their own code of honor was an interesting trip as well.
The story was well paced, and expertly written. The choice of dragons in particular was a good one, because dragons are in the myths most cultures worldwide. It was fun to explore the world of a clan of oriental dragons. Good tale, well told. If it were me, I wouldn't have started the story with such detail about the attack - but I'm old and squeemish - and most people seem to be comfortable now-a-days with lots of gory details.
Since the house is on fire - at least let us warm ourselves.
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Post July 05, 2010, 04:18:29 PM

I didn't care for this one too much.

First, there's the change in point-of-view from the beginning section (third person omnicient) to the rest of the story (first person). That isn't too bad in itself. What bothers me about it is the general sense of the author addressing the audience directly; it has the tone of "I'm talking to you." I might not have noticed it, except for this deliberate breach of the "fourth wall," when, for at least this one sentence, the POV changes again to second person.

Yes, you heard me right. And I wasn't speaking metaphorically. Grandmother's human name is Iris Chen, and she really is a dragon.

This, to me, is a big no-no.

Loose ends and incongruities . . . where did the fur, tape, and manacle come from? Why would a detective simply drop another person's phone at a crime scene instead of handing it back?

Characterization was rather thin in a lot of places as well; I think I understood the dog better than most of the humans.

Also, the information about these dragon/humans seemed to be inserted in a less-than-graceful manner. I know we're supposed to avoid info-dumps, but that might have worked better here.

The subject matter has promise, with shape-shifting dragon/humans hidden in modern society, and sometimes getting out of line. The execution needs tidied up a bit, though.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

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