The Visitor by Natalie J E Potts


Tell us what you thought of the June 2010 issue!

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Post June 30, 2010, 08:17:01 PM

The Visitor by Natalie J E Potts

This story deals with a problem forseen by Asimov, among others. Asimov forsaw a time when humans living on distant planets would would only communicate with each other via holophones. This would happen because there would be so much territory that humans would space themselves out on huge farms, surrounded only by robots. Obviously this would eliminate disease, or pretty-near eliminate it.
In this story, Matthews has a similar problem - he is anti-social, unless it's over the net. 300 emails a day attest to his desire to communicate, but not face to face.
At first I wondered why SXYMerry couldn't take care of herself, and why she was wondering the halls of SkiWalker's home - but it all becomes apparent by the end of the story.
Overall it's an interesting story, well written. The author includes lots of juicy details- you'll see what I mean when you read it.
Since the house is on fire - at least let us warm ourselves.
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Post June 30, 2010, 11:39:05 PM

Hey, wait a minute -- isn't this future here already? At least the part of it represented by Lucas . . . ?


(Note to self: get out of the house more often.)

Excellent job, Natalie.
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Post July 01, 2010, 11:44:38 AM

Note to today's parents:

Get your kids away from those computer games and take them for a walk in the park. They might be sirprised to see that there is an outdoors.

gino
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Post July 02, 2010, 08:12:34 AM

grab the kids

If you're dragging the kids away from the computer (excellent idea, by the way) - you'd better grab the grandparents too. Too many of are elderly are spending their golden years in a dark room, with only a computer for company. Invite the pale to a cookout this 4th of July!
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Post July 02, 2010, 10:02:16 AM

Thought Provoking

I liked this one, too. It makes me want to go out and chop down a tree or kill something I'm gonna eat, later. Very cool.

I thought the writing was tight, and each revelation of what was going on was very well paced. By doing it with the interaction with Marshal, rather than with narrative, it moved the reader into the situation with a steadily more wierd cadence.

That's how to write a story and explain strange situations. Slick. . .and something I will try to steal. . .uh. . .emulate.

Though I had a confusing moment--which brought me 'out of the story'.

What the heck does this mean?


There were three things hanging in the wardrobe and none of them appealed, his draws presented more comfort work pants, but seemed strangely bereft of underwear. Down the back of the draw something caught his eye.


The word 'draw' seems to be used for 'drawer.'

Is this a localism with which I'm not aware? There are drawers that you wear, and then there's the little box thingy that slides out.

Neither of which is a 'draw.' That's just making a picture using some kind of mark on some kind of previously-blank medium.

Any ideas?

Bill Wolfe
Last edited by Bill_Wolfe on July 02, 2010, 11:06:52 AM, edited 1 time in total.
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Post July 02, 2010, 10:40:28 AM

Not a win, not a loss, a draw?

Hmm. The first reference could be taken to mean "the available choices", but the second one definitely seems to indicate a container (specifically a drawer). Unless a "draw" is some super-duper futuristic clothing storage and presentation system...

:roll:
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Post July 02, 2010, 11:13:46 AM

draw

It's funny, but, being from Dixie - I didn't even see this mis-spelling. Believe me, a lot of people around me would say, "Hey, wasn't my weed in this draw?" I mean, ahhhh - "Hey, did someone take my weed out of the draw in the bedroom?" Whoops again, ahhhh...."Has anyone seen my pink sweater, the one that was in the top draw, next to my weed." Oh well.
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Post July 03, 2010, 07:36:30 AM

Hi All,

I made a typo... Twice! :oops: The funny thing is, only a few weeks ago I posted an entry on my blog about the horror of homonyms. Clearly a weakness of mine.

Glad you liked the story!

Thanks,
Nat

Natalie J E Potts
www.nataliejepotts.com
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Post July 03, 2010, 10:10:21 AM

. . . and now we know where bottomdweller's muse lives . . . :wink:
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Post July 03, 2010, 10:19:34 AM

The Visitor

Come on, Lester - I've been trying to bury this comment by critiqueing other stories and posting them on the thread - but this one keeps rising to the top. As far as my muse - it's all smoke and mirrors - playing, peeps, just playing! I think I'm hilarious!
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