Doozy


Tell us what you thought of the December issue!

User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 1334

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Kentucky

Post January 08, 2010, 02:00:41 PM

Doozy

Doozy
The Devil went down to Georgia, He was lookin’ for a tire to steal…
This is a fun, well written story. I did have a few qualms about it, however.
For instance: Jobie (the Northern) asks: “Do you know a garage close by?” It’s a normal question except – Bubba is driving a tow truck. Check it out in the story – you’ll see I’m right.
Another ‘for instance’: Bubba says to Jobie “You don’t sound like a Southern.” Like a Southern? Huh? Like a Southern railroad maybe…or a Southern Fried Chicken…maybe it could be “You don’t sound like a Southerner, sir.” Or “You don’t sound like someone from these parts.” Or “We shoot strangers here, Yankee.”
Along the same lines, Jobie seems a little too trusting. It’s a bad idea to just jump into a truck driven by a stranger…and then follow them ‘around back’ of a garage in the middle of nowhere. If a stranger tells you, “I got something to show you in back of the garage”, just say no.
I like all the banter about names, because you can often tell a lot about a person’s background from their name. Sorry, it’s just that way. “Pop”, “Bub”, and Jobie – all say something about the characters. I really don’t buy the statement, “My name’s Bubba, but lot a folks call me Bub.” Someone might say, “My name’s Richard, but they call me Dick.”
At the end, Bub has a good Biblical name to – I enjoyed the wind-up. I figure, though, $500 ain’t a bad price for 3 tires – especially if you’re in a Biblical service station in Georgia. Afterall: You know what they call a Yankee hitchhiking through Georgia? – stranded.
User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 1334

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Kentucky

Post January 11, 2010, 01:58:59 PM

Huh?

Come on. Some one needs to call me out on this boo-boo.
User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 1334

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Kentucky

Post January 14, 2010, 08:58:45 AM

boo-boo

I still can't believe that 47 people have looked at this critique...and...the story doesn't exist in this ezine peeps! Wake up! I'm laughing at myself.
User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 1188

Joined: October 06, 2008, 06:53:45 AM

Location: Chantilly VA

Post January 14, 2010, 09:13:09 AM

reply

Maybe we though you were jumping realities. Any thing is probable.

RT
User avatar

Editor Emeritus

Posts: 2379

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Post January 14, 2010, 01:59:15 PM

So THAT'S why the title didn't sound familiar...

At first I thought it might have been the title of one of the Serials / Novellas, or maybe one of the poems. Then I thought it was a clandestine flash fiction / performance art thing -- i.e., the post was itself a "story".

Now I see that you've been reading around on us, you promiscuous hussy! Don't your vows mean anything to you? And you must have wanted to be caught, or you wouldn't have rubbed our faces in the evidence of your infidelity.

:(
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)
User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 1334

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Kentucky

Post January 14, 2010, 03:31:29 PM

hussy

I just read around on ya'll when I want a quickie - flash fiction. If ya'll could provide all my needs, I would be true only to you...at least for a while. Sorry...married 4 times and all that. I did have to laugh at myself for doing that bad thing, though...and noone caught me!

Return to December 2009

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.