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Zombie and Demons and Feds

PostPosted: December 22, 2009, 03:47:53 PM
by bottomdweller
I think the reason I’m so attracted to Zombie stories is because they’re the obvious ‘elephant in the kitchen’ syndrome. These stories are like that small, quiet part of the base of your brain, the animal part that keeps yelling that something is wrong in spite of how we go along, day after day, as if nothing is amiss. Zombies and Demons and Feds is like that a lot.
There’s a Zombie in the basement of Earl’s house – a blathering thing that use to be his brother. The thing in the basement doesn’t care what’s going on – it just wants to be fed, period. Whether it’s raw meat on a stick, a cat, or a federal agent, it’s like that little addiction we all have hidden away in the basement of our personalities.
“ Call who? The police? The police come in shooting. They are the last people to be called during a family problem.” Family PROBLEM??: hey, lady, there’s a zombie in your basement and it just ate the cat! Funny stuff, very funny.
There were blotches of words that I enjoyed:
“She had come through angry – well, annoyed anyway –“ (I’ve been there, in fact, annoyed is where I spend a good bit of my life).
“’You’re immortal,’ Jerry said. ‘Older than the human race…’
‘It is unwise to remind a lady of her age’.” …especially when that lady is a demon, I suppose.
“They – the experts, the authors of the zombie literature –“ …I always wonder who “they” are, it’s good to finally be told exactly who ‘they’ are.
“Later at Home Land Security HQ, the spook sub division of the paranormal division debriefing room.” I guess that’s like the X-files, but without all the latent sexually between Mulder and Scully.
Don’t let those Christmas family squabbles eat away at you. Don’t eat your heart out because of some social misstep. Read this story - your zombie in the basement will thank you for it.

Re: Zombie and Demons and Feds

PostPosted: January 26, 2010, 12:37:23 PM
by Robert_Moriyama
bottomdweller wrote:...Don’t eat your heart out because of some social misstep...

The zombie will take care of that. Eating your heart out, I mean.

bottomdweller wrote:Read this story - your zombie in the basement will thank you for it.

Parents of teenagers are advised to check for a pulse before concluding that The Thing In The Basement is actually a zombie. Judging by appearance and / or body odor is not reliable in some cases. Besides, you may be the one demanding "more brains!" (as in wishing that the basement-dweller would act as if it had any).


Re: Zombie and Demons and Feds

PostPosted: January 04, 2012, 10:42:56 AM
by Robert_Moriyama
jymmexy wrote:What do you do when the zombie you need to kill is your past life? I believe in reincarnation after death, so let's pretend that is really what happens (I think it does, but that's beside the point). Anyways, you are living a happy life when the zombie apocalypse strikes. You are run into a zombie, but this zombie is your most recent past life, you were this person before you died and were reborn into who you are now. What do you do?

Hmm. Aside from sentimental value, the body is just a collection of meat and bones with somebody else (or something else) in the driver's seat. The survival of your current incarnation should presumably take precedence -- you 'kill' the zombie, with minimal damage to the face if you can manage it, and give the remains a decent burial if the thought of your former shell decomposing or being consumed by animals is unacceptable.

(Actually, if you are an adult, your former body has been decomposing for the past twenty or so years, so the odds that you can recognize it (unless it was buried in a very distinctive outfit or preserved by freezing) are minimal!)