Go On, Go There by Ben Ayers


Tell us what you thought of the January 2007 issue!

Moderator: Editors

Master Critic

Posts: 889

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Post January 22, 2007, 02:07:04 AM

Go On, Go There by Ben Ayers

started out as a very sure-handed narrative with a quirky sense of surreal horror straight out of a good Outer Limits or Creepshow.

But then came the dissolution and it just became too weird, almost random.

i appreciated the lack of dialogue and lots of the locales described rang really true, as did the protag's lifestyle.

however, it was just too scatter-brained by the end. i guess the cat's soul came back to haunt him/her? i mean, the cat from the pipe.

Lee

Critic

Posts: 175

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: UK

Post January 22, 2007, 11:56:10 AM

Re: Go On, Go There by Ben Ayers

I appreciated that it was all a bit confusing because of the protagonist's 'change' and his confused state of mind, but that's the problem with writitng such a story in the 1st person - if the protagonist is confused, then the reader will be too. Lots of the paragraphs and sentences were well written in themselves, but I'm afraid I was lost by the end. Just like the character.

Gareth

Master Critic

Posts: 889

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Post January 23, 2007, 04:56:44 AM

Re: Go On, Go There by Ben Ayers

good point: something like this needs a more sure-footed narrator to provide a sort of anchor. we could have used a third person perspective. that would have been more solid while retaining the quality writing exhibited.

Lee

Master Critic

Posts: 897

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Johnstown, Pa.

Post January 27, 2007, 03:41:49 PM

Re: Go On, Go There by Ben Ayers

Very hard to follow, and I didn't get the ending, if there was a point to get.

This reminded me of a 'stream of consciouness' story where the author puts down his/her thoughts at ramdom, and sometime his/her thoughts will connect like a story?

The writting was good. The character developement needs worked on, and sensory input sould have been introduced. Even in a dream state we can hear and feel and smell.

The book 'Slaughterhouse Five' by Kurt Vonegut came to my attention as I was reading this story. Maybe going back and forth in time---which Vonegut did--- had something to do with my connecting to two together.

Did he enter a monastery? Was he a soldier seriously wounded in the battlefield, and as his life slipped away, were these his thoughts? I don't know.

I can't say that I liked the story, yet I didn't hate it!
Tesla Lives!!!

Return to January 2007

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.