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Re: An Alien Encounter of the Worst Kind by Joe Va

PostPosted: January 13, 2007, 09:46:08 PM
by Megawatts
An entertaining story with a good moral at the end: Never sing in the shower for you don’t know who might be listening!!

I know, that was a sick punch line but I just had to burp it out!

Great story? Yes, I loved it, and couldn’t stop reading from the first sentence until the end. The characters came alive--as if on a movie screen--and the dialogue between the cat and Bob presented itself naturally without any abrupt changes.

The sentence “He returned to his bunk and tried to puzzle out the situation” gives merit to the author's ability to use words in a new light: puzzle for figure. I like that.

The cat can read minds? Always could? Interesting that the cat never displayed his ability before. And an intelligent Komodo dragon? Well, I’m sure the lizard aliens had a few comment about it.

I love this story? There are many questionable aspects to this story, such as the cat. If the cat had telepathy, then why didn’t he form a resistance group to overtake the aliens? But, I don’t think his story warrants that type of criticism.

A well written story, easy to read, and very entertaining.

Now, the slight changes I would incorporate.

Some odor, or lack of it, should be pointed out by Bob when he first sees the aliens, and some sound or a silence,  generated by the alien, should also be pointed out. Noise, smells, and other sensory input such as feel would be there unless the aliens could cancel those sensory perceptions out, and if they can, then the lack of perception should also be mentioned.

A Bull Gorilla  in the cage across the isle must smell! and that odor would have been the first clue to Bob as he was laying on his cot! If anyone was ever close to a cow, then they would know what I was talking about. And I’m sure the cat had a certain feel when petted.

All through this story subtle sensory elements would have project the story to even higher heights, but believe me, I think this story in its original form is very good!!