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Roiling Gyre Richard H. Fay

PostPosted: August 12, 2009, 04:53:52 AM
by TaoPhoenix
Uh oh. Vocab time! I don't know what a Gyre is. Makes me think of Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll. You know, ...

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wade;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

But that one is a verb, and Richard's is a noun. comes up with:

1. a ring or circle.
2. a circular course or motion.
3. Oceanography. a ringlike system of ocean currents rotating clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere and counterclockwise in the Southern Hemisphere.

Well, okay. 1&2 explain Jabberwocky. I'm guessing #3 is what Richard is after.

Repeating Richard's Poem here for convenience to save Clickiness,

roiling gyre
roused sea beast swallows
floundering trireme


More vocab! What's a trireme? Apparently, ...

–noun Classical History.
a galley with three rows or tiers of oars on each side, one above another, used chiefly as a warship.

Oho! Now we know how THIS got started: ... bage_Patch

The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, also described as the Eastern Garbage Patch or the Pacific Trash Vortex, is a gyre of marine litter in the central North Pacific Ocean located roughly between 135° to 155°W and 35° to 42°N and estimated to be twice the size of Texas.[1] The patch is characterized by exceptionally high concentrations of suspended plastic and other debris that have been trapped by the currents of the North Pacific Gyre.

PostPosted: August 12, 2009, 07:26:18 PM
by RHFay
Yep, vocab time alright! I was thinking the oceanic gyre when I wrote this, hoping to invoke a swirling circular current. And a trireme is indeed an ancient war galley. I wanted to go for a mythic feel, something that sounded as if it were from Greco-Roman myth. Also, I wanted to create a nod to Charybdis, the Greek whirlpool sea monster:

PostPosted: August 13, 2009, 02:53:38 PM
by davidsonhero
roused sea beast swallows

Richard, I really like the rhythm you create in the second line by using the alliterative "s" sound. When I focus my attention on the "s" sounds in this line it helps to create the image of the slow gulping of the giant sea monster.

floundering trireme

My tongue tends to trip on the word trireme which again adds to the image. I imagine the oars sticking in the sides of the monsters throat as it slowly tries to swallow.

Your poem demonstrates the importance of sounds in word choice when crafting poetry.

Great job.


PostPosted: August 13, 2009, 03:06:39 PM
by RHFay

I always try to read my poetry aloud when composing it, to see if it sounds right. I even do this with haiku-type poems such as "roiling gyre". And I have a fondness for alliteration. That is why I went with "roused sea beast swallows" in the second line, and didn't just go with "roused beast swallows", even though the second choice may have been more minimalistic in nature. Plus, I believe that "sea" helps to reinforce the setting.