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Mistress of the Labyrinth by As

PostPosted: November 20, 2008, 12:07:48 PM
by Megawatts
Very poetic and moving, and the constant rhythm of the sentences worked. It didn’t put me to sleep----held my interest.

This story bordered on a poetic feel for life, and the author used his skills to portray a poignant but searching soul that must live in the Twilight existence between the living and the dead.

The writing skill very good, and spacing of the story Okay. But to tell the truth, I don’t have the foggiest idea of what the story suggests or reflects.

The stream-of-conscious writing is evidence here. And mysticism coupled with an REM dreaming state has also come to mind as I read this story.

The referenc to her father, the boys overlooking the river and Theo, all

must symbolize something, but I don'tl know what!

I'll have to re-read this story again when I get the time.

Nice use of language even if I didn’t understand the story!! :shock:


PostPosted: December 03, 2008, 02:02:05 PM
by bottomdweller
I get it that the author is working on his degree in Language Arts. Okay. BUT there is no story line here, just some dreamy-tipsy-arty state of being. No action - just floating around. Megawatts said they would read it again and maybe it will make some sense - but it won't. Maybe if this were the first two pages in a book it would be okay - like setting a scene for the book to take place. But this article as it is, is just a narrative scene, not a story at all.
I need more meat with my potatoes.

PostPosted: December 04, 2008, 09:24:59 PM
by neoadorable
there is certainly a story line and for sure multiple readings will shed more light on what's going on. liked it - some parts were downright intriguing, and the city described seems like a pretty cool place, kinda like Blade Runner LA.

sure it's all very obscure, but it's interesting and there's a sense of sadness about it.

a few words get jumbled, like over ---> overs, every ----> ever etc, but no biggie.

have to admit i need to give it another go, wasn't really focused just now.