[POLL] VOTE: May 2016 Flash Challenge

Congrats Nate!
I as one of the votes that pushed you over the top. A really good piece.

Good job all! Let's do another !

Congrats, Nate you had a very good story. This was another good challenge and also congrats to Lester for the inspiration. Also good job to Daniel Johnson on his first entry and we hope to see more from him. All the stories were better than I originally thought they would be.

This picture challenge forced all of us to think more visually then abstractly. I liked it and hope we have some more challenges with picture as the starting point. Maybe a picture with a caption under it might be worth the effort.

Good job to everyone!

I've been busy reading your flash index library and haven't been commenting so I'll catch up now.

Well, I didn't expect any notice of my story and the fact that some people liked it is rewarding. I think conspiracy theories are great fodder for science fiction writing. As I got into it this time, I found several different ones I'd like to write about.

The picture was dark and foreboding and was enjoyable to try and see lives being lived in it.

The story by Sergio was a brilliant plot concept and I noticed his ability for this on his last story. This story was mostly narrative and I feel it needed to be fleshed out more into a living piece of literature.

Eddie's story showed he has a gift for world building, but you don't need crude subject matter to sell your story. I'd liked to have seen a few sub plots woven into the storyline. It can be done lightly even for a flash size story.

Nate's dialogue was believable and fun to read so he masters literary conversation. The scope of the story was too large for a smooth read and for neatly tying up the details at the end (the same problem I had with mine).

Michele's story would make a great children's adventure like Harry Potter stories. From what I've read of her works in the flash index, this seems to be a consistent theme with her writing, like she is in the middle of a group of children telling them a story and them being wide eyed and attentive. I would say that more time could be spent on plot building so the action is more interesting.

Megawatts story was a philosophical drama posing to humanity that doing something that hasn't been done is not a good enough reason for doing it. There maybe consequences to unplanned actions. The concept was a good one, but I would put a little more attention to plot building as well to make the action more interesting.

I enjoyed this challenge and thank you everyone for reading and commenting.

Daniel

Congrats to the evil icy gnome - maybe two wins in a row will warm his cold, cold heart. My favorite story was 'Demons who Dance and sing', because, well, I guess I like spooky stories really. There were many good stories this time which is a great thing, indeed. I'll get you next time, evil gnome.

[kailhofer]

Here are a few comments of my own:

On Sergio's, I really liked the concept--turncoat returns to visit the place he betrayed his comrades, but I didn't like the execution of the plot. It was all telling instead of showing, and that felt like that created a separation between the story and the reader.

For George's, again, I felt it was a good concept--particle accelerator splits a door to a new reality, but I didn't feel any real connection with the picture. That, and the plot was mainly the discovery of the town instead of something more human I could relate to.

For Michele's, the idea of the thing was delightful. Man of science tricking the masses and picking up an understudy along the way. Dialogue, too was clever. However, like Lester mentioned, the "gross national product", etc. was very jarring. To me it didn't fit with the world building up to that point and it pulled me out of the story instead of further into it.

I had tremendous hopes for Eddie's. It had great, engaging characters and a good, clear plotline. I generally prefer more complicated plots, but there's no reason it can't be simple if it's well done. In the end, though, the story was about poo, and that's where I think the audience was lost, including me. If it had been something else the fairies had made instead of excrement, I think Ed would have won this challenge handily.

Daniel's story to me was a refreshing bit of darkness, a different perspective than we normally have. It's been a while since we've had a real bone-chilling horror challenge. However, I thought the characters lacked depth. Their names were off-putting to me and I would really have liked to see more connection to the picture itself besides an image in a viewer. Still, on the whole, not bad.

For my own, I can honestly say this was the hardest I've ever worked on a challenge piece because I absolutely knew it was trying to do too much, and at no point was I ever completely satisfied with it, but I couldn't find any part of it that could be cut that didn't take away from the character's development. Without the death of the bird to show what was going to happen, I didn't think the danger would be felt. Without the love story, then his defense of the last tree comes off flat. Without the child tree at the end, it's just depressing.

So, I guess I won but feel like I lost the battle.

[kailhofer]

Congrats to the evil icy gnome - maybe two wins in a row will warm his cold, cold heart... I'll get you next time, evil gnome.

I find it funny that a little devil finds me evil.

Ok, bring it. I'll be ready.

I had tremendous hopes for Eddie's. It had great, engaging characters and a good, clear plotline. I generally prefer more complicated plots, but there's no reason it can't be simple if it's well done. In the end, though, the story was about poo, and that's where I think the audience was lost, including me. If it had been something else the fairies had made instead of excrement, I think Ed would have won this challenge handily.

We all have tremendous hope for Eddie in general. He just can't stay away from the lower humor. In the interest of displaying true talent I will be writing the next flash challenge and it will contain no excrement, genital/rectal, or flatulent humor. I can not promise beyond that regarding the level of disturbance.

Yours truly,

David Ulnar Slew

[kailhofer]

In the interest of displaying true talent I will be writing the next flash challenge and it will contain no excrement, genital/rectal, or flatulent humor. I can not promise beyond that regarding the level of disturbance.

Yours truly,

David Ulnar Slew

If the David split personality wins, couldn't it be said that Eddie still hasn't won a challenge?

Ok, that was mean. I'm sorry. (Well, only a little... Hey, Michele keeps telling me I'm evil.)

Ah, if this is your definition, it reminds me of a story we did in the challenges to boost The Aphelion Explorer series (which you can find by clicking the 'series' button in the Navbar of the main site index), the 'Spaceman's Birthday' challenge. I wrote a story called "Always". That might fit your bill. Another was "Love Like Clockwork" by Gareth L. Powell. That was an early tale, for the second challenge. The flip side of it, love lost, might work well if you look at the 'Almost Forever' challenge. Or the 'Get the Girl' challenge... Or 'The 'Real' Valentine challenge... or 'Who Could Love a Monster'...

There's another flip side, love gone wrong. I think of my story "Wife of Wickedness" in the Evil Henchman challenge. Or inspired by love or kindness, like "Dancing Queen" in the Free Skate challenge.

Come to think of it, we've been to the land of romance a fair number of times in these challenges.

I've been looking at stories the last few days and I've read some by you and a few others and I think I have an idea on how to write a complete flash story. You're really a good writer. I'll look forward to getting into these other stories you've written as well as Michele and the rest of the gang (I'm not finding as many stories by Lester, other than the ones I've already read). Thanks for pointing out to me the story titles listed above and the lady writers of Aphelion!

I had tremendous hopes for Eddie's. It had great, engaging characters and a good, clear plotline. I generally prefer more complicated plots, but there's no reason it can't be simple if it's well done. In the end, though, the story was about poo, and that's where I think the audience was lost, including me. If it had been something else the fairies had made instead of excrement, I think Ed would have won this challenge handily.

Listen Eddie sweetheart, crude is a big turn off. I'd like to see a nice story from you by talent alone. When I pick up a romance book and it's starts to get nasty, I put it down and move on. Let me read what you can do without it.

Angel

[Lester Curtis]

Angel,

You're not finding many by me because—surprise!—I haven't written many! Plus, not all my stuff has made it into the flash archive listing.

My stuff is also often not the best. For an example of a nearly unbeatable flash writer, look at the stuff from I. Verse. He regularly walked all over us. Pretty good for a dog, and I wish he'd show up here once in a while.

Still, if you like my stuff enough to want to see *all* of it, send me the list of those you already have found and I'll send you the others by PM.

Nate I have a question - did Eddie Sullivan and his alter ego David Ulnar Slew both vote in the same challenge during the same voting time period, either this time or over the last several challenges?

This should be precious!

Nate?
Do I vote twice, once with my name and the other time with my pen name?

I never even considered that! What have I been missing out on?

Was that an option?

Nate I have a question - ...?

Really? Oh, come on!

I did a search on this site on Eddie Sullivan's pen name and I found him having a conversation with himself using both aliases.

Monthly Issue - August 2014 Topic - David Ulnar-Slew
viewtopic.php?f=129&t=13244

I posed a logical question.

Dear Lord!
Touche!
The man is correct. I forgot all about that little joke.

Needless to say it was always a badly kept secret and Nate wouldn't tolerate such a thing, nor would I perpetrate such a hoax.

I did a Boothworld Industries Story like that too.

Cool that was fun.
Thanks Daniel for reminding me about that. I just re-read it. Got to love that Creepypasta!

For Michele's, the idea of the thing was delightful. Man of science tricking the masses and picking up an understudy along the way. Dialogue, too was clever. However, like Lester mentioned, the "gross national product", etc. was very jarring. To me it didn't fit with the world building up to that point and it pulled me out of the story instead of further into it.

While I'd agree with Leister that the magic words to persons who know about their origings might be silly, I also find them quite fitting in context, telling me a litte about how magic is done in that society and thus actually furthering world building.

Allow me to a look at that aforementioned term "gross national product". It would seem that while the
people in that post apocalypitc world do not have good knowledge of the word pre apocalype, they - or at least some of them - have some ideas obout how things used to be. LIke: once upon a time there were the powers of "economics" permeating all layers of society and "gross national product" was related to those on quite a high level. That makes "gross national product" it a true word of power conjuring ancient forces.

v.

[kailhofer]

I've been looking at stories the last few days and I've read some by you and a few others and I think I have an idea on how to write a complete flash story. You're really a good writer.

I am humbled by such praise.

[kailhofer]

This should be precious!

Nate?
Do I vote twice, once with my name and the other time with my pen name?

I never even considered that! What have I been missing out on?

Was that an option?

One may try, but your results may vary.

[kailhofer]

Nate I have a question - did Eddie Sullivan and his alter ego David Ulnar Slew both vote in the same challenge during the same voting time period, either this time or over the last several challenges?

Just for the record, only one personality is allowed to vote per person.

[Lester Curtis]

Nate I have a question - did Eddie Sullivan and his alter ego David Ulnar Slew both vote in the same challenge during the same voting time period, either this time or over the last several challenges?

Just for the record, only one personality is allowed to vote per person.

Well, Eddie, there goes your insanity defense.

I have always felt my particular brand of insanity was more offensive rather than defensive.

I have an idea for a challenge.

We could do the "How Many Flash Stories Can You Write Challenge?"

The Italian Man is the undisputed fastest writer on Aphelion...or is he? Hummm. This challenge could be with or without prompts, but the challenge is to write as many complete flash size stories in the two week time allotment as possible. Some will be good, some won't, that doesn't matter. It'll be a time to cut loose without second guessing yourself as you write.

You could add 5% of the participant's total score back onto their score for each story submitted and accepted.

So, what do you think?

Also Nate, you said you've been working hard at the site promotion, could I help a little? I've got a couple of auditions next week, which are usually long lines and longer waits. I could print up cards and pass them out?

Angel

That sounds like a good idea. I never participated in a challenge like the one you suggest. Every approach to writing helps the writers, I believe. Sergio will surely win---I'd place a good bet on that one---but maybe someone else might be the thoroughbred! Who knows?

Good idea!

[kailhofer]

I have an idea for a challenge.

We could do the "How Many Flash Stories Can You Write Challenge?"

The Italian Man is the undisputed fastest writer on Aphelion...or is he? Hummm. This challenge could be with or without prompts, but the challenge is to write as many complete flash size stories in the two week time allotment as possible. Some will be good, some won't, that doesn't matter. It'll be a time to cut loose without second guessing yourself as you write.

You could add 5% of the participant's total score back onto their score for each story submitted and accepted.

So, what do you think?

I respect your idea, but scoring based on how many stories written would probably need a different scoring system than you suggest. Winning would probably be just for who wrote the most, which is whole numbers. Adding 5% onto a whole number wouldn't do much. If the 5% was added under the current scoring system, every time you wrote another story you would split your own vote, essentially making it less likely that you'd win every time you wrote another story.

I already have a challenge ready for tonight, but if we can iron out the bugs I'm open to it for a future contest.

Also Nate, you said you've been working hard at the site promotion, could I help a little? I've got a couple of auditions next week, which are usually long lines and longer waits. I could print up cards and pass them out?
Angel

By all means, if you like. Cards, table tents, whatever you would like to make. I can even point you to where our t-shirt logos are stored should you want to have one printed up yourself. We don't have any of our own swag to sell for promotion since we are a complete nonprofit.

May one ask what manner of audition this is?

Well, you would know about scoring the votes better than anyone.

Just thinking out loud, a writer could receive 10 points automatically for each story accepted, so 3 stories by one author would get an additional 30 points added to the author's overall score of their highest rated story. And each story would be graded in the same way it is now. You wouldn't have to average story votes per author, because who ever wins...wins (no matter how many stories they have in the challenge). I would say that if a participant had a number of stories in the challenge, that it is unlikely they would be of the caliber of a single story written by one author.

But the idea is to expand one's imagination and see how many worthwhile stories could be written on a single topic.

You won't hurt my feelings if you don't use it. My ideas are just fodder for consideration.

One of the auditions is a commercial (I don't know what the product is yet) and the other one is a callback for a network series (fingers crossed).