Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]


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Post January 13, 2018, 12:32:55 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

burp... " So?"

"So? What so, parasite?"

"So, how did you like green grapes?"

"Not so much, mine had seeds. But I did enjoy the canned dog food. Never imagined real beef byproducts could be so yummy."

"I'll have to try it but that's for next time. What do you want to do now?"

"What do you want to do?"

This dialogue between a spider and parasite went on and on, starting to sound eerily like some old comedy on the television. After a few minutes a new voice sounded.

"You both are fucking retarded..."

"And who are you? Another creature from Robin's imagination?" The parasite truly was a prick.

"I am a rock," was the stone cold reply.

"Hey, I know you rock. We've talked before." Fred beamed.

"Ha! Spiders with ice skates inside a fish, and now a stupid fucking rock that talks. What's next? Intelligent ice cream?"

"Hey. Parasite. Quick question. Have you ever played rock, scissors, paper?" The cold voice of the rock queried.

"Uh, nope. Sounds retarded like you."

Whack! SPLAT!

(silence)

Fred exclaimed, "Wow, so that's how that game is played. Cool. Rock smashes parasite."

Unfazed the rock asked Fred, "You want to play the game also?"

"Nope. I'm fine. Hey, wanna try some of this canned dog food?"

"No. Rocks don't eat."

"That's cool, lets play chess."

(to be continued)

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Post January 13, 2018, 11:34:19 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

"Hey, you can't do that. A pawn cannot move three places forward and then slide sideways all across the board."

"I'm a spider. I can do any damn thing I want. Oh, by the way, checkmate."

The rock pondered long and hard. Rocks have been known to ponder for centuries so it did not take long for Fred to state again, "Checkmate."

Now, rocks are not the brightest, that's for sure. Their hottest and brightest moment is usually the one where they pop out of a volcano, shriek while falling out of the sky or getting toasted in a forest fire.This rock Fred had made friends with was really no different. At least, as far as this world is concerned. As for the other worlds, that would just bore a reader.

"I beat you. I beat you. Naw na na na Naaaw na..."

CRASH! The rock bounced around the board, smashing all the plastic chess pieces to pieces. "You wanna be next to get squished spider?

Too late as Fred immediately sought safer ground, hanging by fine thread of webbing suspended off the ceiling. "Rock, you're a sore loser. But if you want we can do something you want to do. So, what would you like to do."

"I'd like to go take a nap. All this movement is tiring."

"You go for it rock. I think I'll go raid the fridge. I think Robin left some stale bologna in there. It should be turning green by now.

(to be continued)

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Post January 16, 2018, 12:30:51 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Find anything good in there Fred?

">yEp>... oh, hello Robin. Heard you were traveling. Was it fun?"

Yes and no. Learned a lot. Saw a lot. Last night was a doozy that's for sure. But enough about me, haven't talked with you in awhile, how's it been going?

"Well, first I got buried in snow, then I was made into a frozen flower for a snowman some snot nosed kid made, and then I went ice skating and fell through the ice and got ate by a fish, and then the parasite came along and blew it all to shit and I made friends with a rock who is lousy at chess and now I'm here eating old mac and cheese. Want some?"

Nope. Help yourself. So, where is the parasite lurking today?

"Ha! He played rock, scissor and paper with a rock. The rock smashed him into really tiny pieces of mush. Don't think you'll be seeing it in a while."

Doubtful. That parasite is one persistent creature. I'm sure it will be coming along soon. Anyway, good talking with you Fred. Keep safe. Watch out for mudslides.

Munch, munch, munch... "You too Robin, don't get squished tomorrow when you set those trusses."

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Post January 16, 2018, 10:32:20 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Good day, got a guy to help me set trusses today on a 40x60 shop. He said he'll be back working full time. If he does, great. If he does not, great. Learned a long time ago that people are highly unreliable, unless one considers causing grief to be reliable.

Once had to fire an employee because they said Margareta was possessed by demons and they were going to tear her head off... Kinda hard to have those kind of employee's around. Was fun to see though, and I still wonder who would have won the fight.

Today's inspiration came as the result of helping Joe and Connie deliver a calf that was too large for the mother cow to do on her own. Most wonderful. Haven't done that for years and the memories flooded back as Joe got covered in cow water and shit. Took awhile but after hooking chains with half hitches around the calf's legs and using the ratchet puller, the little bugger slid out.

The mother cow was released and the process complete. Poor little guy took a bit to start breathing even after clearing the mouth and nostril.

For those who never get to witness the miracle of birth, it truly is a wonderful sight indeed.
***

Life

Shell of security cracked to reveal the soft fragile
Umbilical severed causing either life or death

Cell division of untold numbers when it all boils down to number one

Heat to mature
Cold to survive

Winds blowing gale, this wind called
Life

Swirling around as nose meets tail
Consuming death
Creating life
Life ending
Life beginning

Did it ever stop?
This answer is
it is

Life always was
and always
is.
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Post January 17, 2018, 12:26:42 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Somehow "miracle of birth" doesn't sound so appealing when it involves chains and a hand-winch. Those come-alongs can be the perfect ticket sometimes, though, and it's good to know everything came out okay ... and in one piece ... ;-)
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Post January 17, 2018, 10:27:00 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Good point Lester. To have to aid in the natural process does seem... unnatural.

The cow yesterday started the birthing process in the morning and it was not until 4:00 pm that human hands intervened. Sadly, the calf died last night in the middle of the night. Too much too late. Body temp dropped constantly and the lungs had sucked in too much fluid.

But, what is natural and unnatural? Mankind now can fly the skies without the aid of feathered wings due to the mechanical ingenuity of airplanes. With intellect it is only natural to aspire to do the unnatural. In the ranchers case, it was natural to use the knowledge of veterinary science to save the calf.

Joe told me today that if they had not noticed the pre birth mucus protruding from the cow, most likely the calf would most certainly have died, and then started to rot, thus causing the death of the cow. To a rancher it is about life (most ranchers truly love those beasts they care for) and it is about money as that is their source of cash.

Yes, you raise a good point also in that death is truly a sounding board for what genetics are to be passed on and which are not.

Not too long ago, 'primitive' humans bore children. If there were complications, they died and taken out of the gene pool. It was common for some woman to birth and then continue working. Today the science has proceeded to the point of saving so many with technology BUT it has not advanced to the point of solving the reasons why such lives were put into harms way.

Joe told me that in the past he has had to pull out dead, rotting calves out of the cow. He said they usually are so rotten they come out in pieces.

The 'miracle of life' is indeed, a miracle. Today, so many learned and well educated humans have tried to 'create' life. Using all the means available, they have failed. Amazing. It raises the question of how a planet borne of space matter, heat, energy... to somehow come to a moment where life was 'created'. Luck? Coincidence? Fate?

Some say life was seeded from the stars by a passing comet or impact from some other form of life-bearing matter. All well and good, but where did that life come from?

Religion or not. God, or god, or not. It does indeed give a mind something to ponder. A mystery that amazes many to no end.

I find life to truly be amazing. All forms of life. Virus's, bacteria, cells, anything that divides, duplicates, asexual, sexual, as with life so many other stories can be lived and written.

Good to hear from you Lester. And as always, you have provided me the inspiration to write.
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Post January 18, 2018, 01:33:47 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Sad cow, dead baby ... too bad, but, yes, farmers do care about their livestock--aka, livelihood. Dead calf rotting inside the cow, though ... something I never thought of, but can immediately understand.

I've studied astrobiology, and I'm pretty convinced that if we ever get out into space and meet alien life, we'll recognize it immediately as such. From the molecular level up, there are a great many reasons that life will take a recognizable form. Most of this has to do with life being a lazy process that takes the easiest route; it does this because life is in fact a temporary violation of the laws of thermodynamics. It will be made of carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and a few other elements, mostly because they're abundant everywhere and combine and react readily. So, whoever we meet out there will likely drink water and breathe oxygen (there are some that breathe methane, but they don't get far). If they live on land they'll probably be bilaterally symmetric because that form has convenient advantages; they'll be comfortable in roughly the same range of temperatures we are: cool enough to prevent heat-destruction of cells, yet warm enough to allow critical biochemistry. Cell walls, for example ... they form spontaneously from non-living lipids--proto-life can form inside them without having to expend effort to create them. Then, as the life grows more complex, it can develop the ability to make lazy use of this spontaneous process and to manipulate it so as to control access to the outside of the cell.

Astronomers are looking for planets bearing liquid water because that's the kind of place we could most likely find alien life. It's the realtors' motto: "Location, location, location."
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Post January 18, 2018, 11:15:16 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

It all works out though, in a weird way. Joe told me today that they had a cow throw out some twins. So, lose one, gain one.

I agree with what you wrote about life but will expand it a bit. Many of the elements here on this planet are the exact ones out 'there'. Gold, iron, even mixtures of elements such as H2O. However, there are other elements out 'there' that are not a part of our world.

There have been some recent experiments conducted by scientists that under controlled conditions of extreme (pressures, energy, etc...) there have been momentary creations of new elements. But once the conditions are returned to normal, the element does not survive.

Life is and may indeed be a temporary and lazy violation, Democrats are proof of such (Oh, I do enjoy making myself giggle). However, I feel the most complicated things in life become so complex they become simple, again, Democrats and Republicans are proof of such. Drooling, mindless idiots comes to mind.

Mathematics as this planet knows it starts out very simple and logical: 1+1=2. Similar to the biologic map you portray. Yet, it advances quickly into theory and the realm of extremely complex. Dimensional theory. Chaos theory. All so intricate and complex yet all so closely related with roots going to 1+1=2 (and for me 1+1=3).

For me it does not matter if life out 'there' is lazy, complex, predictable, and similar to life here on this rock. As there is also life out there the likes of which humans cannot even fathom the possibility let alone the how and why.

What does matter for me is that life is life. It exists, and then again, does it? Is this dimension a dream? A matrix of electronic impulses? A game? Humans think they exist, but what is existence 'here' may just turn out to be a simple and lazy illusion on a whole other level.

And, thanks again Lester for the inspiration to write what I just did as I tried to point out that such dialogue and thoughts are the mainstay for fantasy writers, for science fiction writers, for philosophers...

There is so much that is known and yet an infinity of unknown.

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Post January 19, 2018, 11:04:29 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Moments of the Clown

With such there comes those moments
where
moments seem to be found
seem to be lost

In a moment, it is
In a moment, it is gone

Raindrops fall constantly until the sun clears
and then with dried tears, it seems as if it never was

Ice cream so solid and hard
only to melt, turning soft and flowing flat

Open heart to receive a broken heart
as the jesters in the background laugh and scorn

They too, have their moments in the sun
They too, will crash and burn.

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Post January 21, 2018, 12:18:33 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

"Ha! You're a moron Robin. How'd that brad nail feel when it went through your finger today?"

Hi parasite. I told Fred you'd be back and of course, there you are.

"You can never get rid of me, you know that. Plus, I'll be around long after your shitty shell of a body rots away in some dumpster."

Good for you. Maybe you'll be able to root through the trash and find a half eaten hamburger. Now, go away, I'm gonna write something.

"Yawn... whatever dude. Your writing sucks. Later."

*

Speed of Light

In a blink, the light pierces the blackness as if instantly was yesterday
White, bright, clean, and fast...
Could anything be faster?

Enter the air compressor, the rubber hose, the brad nailer, the finger...
Never has there ever been such speed.

Not even a blur, a warning, but indeed, there was the scream
Blood moving slower but seeming fast
While quickly removing the finger from the 2" nail
feeling the instant throbbing of pain.

Life moves fast, almost as fast as the speed of light
Everything moving at some pace of speed
As for the brad nail played with today, I'm glad it stopped and is no longer moving,
knowing that slowly eases the pain.
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Post January 21, 2018, 01:14:40 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Yep, you can't outrun power tools. Just ask my short fingers.

Shit, even the Amish are starting to use them. It's stupid. People don't know how to sharpen a tool any more, so they go to motorized ones that will keep going--however sloppily--when dull. Or worse yet, their tools become disposable.

Oh, wait--it's not stupid when you're mass-producing Amish-Built (TM) wood furniture which is no better than what the Chinese make. It's just priced higher, because--Amish, right? They know stuff we don't about building things with wood, right? Wrong, suckers, and everybody loses when we give up "Wait a week and this will last you a lifetime" for "Gimme it NOW, dammit, I'm gonna throw it away in a year anyway."

I got off on a bit of a tangent there, didn't I? And I'm part of the problem, too; I just ordered two more all-plastic toys, myself.

We need to colonize Mars, or the Moon, or some structure in orbit somewhere ... not just to get a supply of our DNA out of reach of The Big One, but to teach ourselves how to live within limits. We need to learn to feel satisfaction through some activity other than acquisition.
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Post January 23, 2018, 12:34:34 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

What's that they say about men with short fingers? Or, is it small feet? (grin)

Must say it felt rather interesting to pull a brad nail out from underneath a fingernail. Glad it didn't hit bone.

I agree about the Amish losing their good reputation. Hutterites also.I remember when my mom was alive she bought a one-pound loaf of bread from the Hutt's and when she got home she weighed it and it came in a a whopping half-pound. That's why I don't trust people who don't swear and or, drink moonshine. I get along much better with rough characters than those 'self righteous' morons like a whoooooole lot of people (writers included).

Some trivia for ya. The two highest marked up items in retail are jewelry (1000%) and furniture (up to 1000%) But ya gotta give the Chinese credit. A few years ago I bought a hardwood tv tray set for about $45 from Costco. They were made in China, shipped to the US, sold by Costco and everyone along the chain made money and I saved money because I can't even buy the wood used that cheap. Don't understand how they can do it.

Good hearing from you Lester, and thanks for the inspiration.
*

Modern World

Amish with their carriage and horse
Black hat and ways
Women with the dresses swaying
with clean-cut children (aka, kids)
trading it all for modern day greed.

Religious zealots going by many names
saying, "You'll burn if you're not like me!"

And the agnostics and athiest's?
Same damn thing.

So who the fuck can you trust today?
nobody really that I can't see
well
of course
for redneck, hill billy hippies who can enjoy flowers, butterflies, moonshine, work, and a good dose of profanity...
and those are a rare breed
indeed.
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Post January 23, 2018, 03:44:02 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Your Chinese furniture reminded me ... the first ukulele I bought cost $40, including shipping all the way from China (I had to wait a few weeks for it to get here). Pretty decent for that price, too, except for the sloppy tuners. The label inside says 'Handcrafted' ... well, not much of it. Laser-cut and machine-carved, mostly. The 'handcrafting' showed up on the profile of the neck, where it was hand-shaped at the heel by someone on a big sanding wheel and not quite symmetrical, but that's not crucial. The important stuff is pretty good. Action is decent; intonation's fair; tone is bright, if a little thin ... lots of resonance and sustain. It's playable and not hard to listen to at all.

How can they do it? Cheap labor, still--but they're modernizing manufacturing, too, probably a lot faster than we are. Slave wages? Still a lot better than living in the country, for them; their city factory job actually does pay them a wage. Too bad they can't breathe the air, but, hey, progress takes time.
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Post January 23, 2018, 01:20:53 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Oh, and those Chinese workers' wages ...?

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from ... e-42779898
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Post January 23, 2018, 11:31:31 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Wow, and to think I've been working for dollars when I could have been working for bricks. The guy in the picture must be rich with all those bricks. Of course, I couldn't see his face but I'm thinking he was crying... I mean, bricks? For payment?
Thanks greatly for the inspiration Lester. Oh, and do you still play the instrument? I'm trying to play guitar and it is sure fire way to piss off my dogs... the neighbors dogs, the neighbors, the birds, hell I think the moon is even pissed off also. But I sure do enjoy the vibrations.
*

"Honey, I'm home," a tired Chinese worker said to his wife, a woman who looked 70 but was only fifteen.

"You get paid?" She squinted as recently all the family had been eating was boiled cat skins that were mostly skin, the hair long ago boiled off and consumed.

"Uh, yep," the man said while avoiding eye contact instead choosing to look down at the dirt floor of the shack they lived in.

"How much?"

"Well, uhmm, well, the good news is that no one can steal what we got paid."

"And the bad news?" She knew her husband well. He looked 92 but was actually only 18.

"The bad news? Uhm, well, really there is no bad news because now I can build you that dream house I've always promised you. You know, a home with solid walls."

She perked up at this news. "Really! How much did you get paid? Did you get a raise?"

After a moment of silence he said, "We got paid in bricks. A lot of really heavy bricks. Now if you wouldn't mind helping me, we have to tote them home from the factory, which as you know is 4 kilometers away and they weigh 3 metric tons..."

This story does not end well for the man as his wife just gritted her teeth and followed him to the brick pile where she grabbed one and beat him over the head until his new name was, Wun Laid Low.
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Post January 24, 2018, 05:04:35 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Play? Yeah, kind of, and I can actually--suddenly--play better now. My new doctor prescribed me some tiny, tiny white pills for my "old-guy shakes," what he termed benign tremors. Just started yesterday with those (the pills, I mean); they make me a tiny bit dizzy, but now I can draw an almost-straight line, and I can now get my fingers on the strings better.

Which brings me to the two new plastic toys I mentioned ... here, have a look.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00OL ... UTF8&psc=1

Haha! I keep torturing myself! This is my fourth uku, and I don't know why, because you can only play one at a time. Well, there is an excuse; this one's a soprano and all my others are tenors. Plastic because I fantasize about taking it to the park and sitting under a tree (far from innocent bystanders) and playing it there. I most likely won't
(< 1% chance), but just in case, you know, there's weather, birdshit ... I might need a self-defense weapon (it's a jungle out there) ... random anonymous critics ...

"Hey, old man, that sounds like crap!"
"Oh yeah? Lemme show you how it tastes!"

Oh, and the price, of course. Gotta waste as few of my Social Security dollars as I can.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01HH ... UTF8&psc=1

There's another story behind this.

I buy books, bunches at a time, 'cause I get 'em cheap with cheap shipping (Edward R Hamilton Bookseller, PO Box 15, Falls Village CT 06031). The most recent batch arrived last week, and one was a book on how to play--excuse me, use the abacus--and it included one; a cute little wooden thing shrink-wrapped against the front cover of the book.

I had put this on my list because, even though I'm not good at it, I like playing with numbers, and, when I was a kid I had one, and I thought, maybe if I try this again I can actually learn it.

Now, this book/abacus package was the first thing that came out of the shipping carton, and I knew it wouldn't sit nicely in the pile with the others, being a lumpy affair. So I had to read it first, and I did.

The book is an absolute hoot, btw; it was written in 1968 and is full of stories about people with abaci (abacists) calculating large numbers faster than any electric computer.

So, I got the principles of it pretty quick, and this book is entertaining but not extremely educational, so I went online looking for more. And what I found is that the Japanese style abacus (soroban) is far more popular than the Chinese style, which I have. Much cooler-looking, as well. The operation is not quite the same between the two systems, with the Japanese version being more efficient. I like efficiency because I'm a living thing, and we're all fighting entropy, right?

So I ordered that pretty plastic one, and in the meantime, I modified mine to behave like a soroban by tying the outwardmost rows of beads to the frame.

Now I just need more practice in adding and subtracting. Oh, and I didn't bother buying a book; there are free tutorials on Youtube.

Oh, and the 23 digits? You do the calculations on the right end and the left end is as a kind of notepad for storing, say, a pair of numbers you're multiplying.

Check it out. You can move heaven and earth with a thumb and forefinger and you'll never need batteries (which is another reason to also like slide-rules).
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Post January 24, 2018, 10:14:12 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Tried the two links and they didn't work. Tried the copy-paste route and Amazon showed some dogs that said it didn't exist. (how do dogs know it didn't exist? dogs are idiots)

Small pills and straight lines... sounds like cannabis in a pill. I love watching stoned people drive. They drive the exact same speed (45mph) regardless of where they are and they drive in very straight lines, right through the stop lights.

What was that instrument that Tiny Tim played? It was the uku wasn't it? That guy was crazy and yet became famous, go figure. Probably had little green pills and could only draw lines in circles.

Okay, now I know that the pills you're taking are, ummm, a bit more strong. An abacus? Reading books about an abacus? Enjoying books about an abacus... If you and I ever meet, we could count how many dead, squished bugs are on the windshields of cars driving underneath an underpass.

And slide rules? Yikes! Give me ten fingers and toes any day for solving math problems, or rocks, or even bricks.

(good to see your getting good medical help and of course, the inspiration)
*

Pills

To get rock hard there is a little pill
To prevent conception there is a little pill
To kill a fetus there is a little pill
To get high there is a little pill
To get rid of the pain there is a little pill

There is a little pill for everything
Helping with little and big things
So many colors and size, with small being the common theme

Pills to make you remember
Pills to make you smarter
Pills to make you sleep
Pills to make you dream

Over the counter
Prescription
Illegal
self made

Pills, pills, pills...
It's a human thing
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Post January 25, 2018, 01:01:26 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

The links don't work for you? Can't figure that; they work okay for me ... if you care, go to Amazon and type "bugsgear mello yellow" for the uku and "23 digit soroban" for the other.
And slide rules? Yikes! Give me ten fingers and toes any day for solving math problems, or rocks, or even bricks.

Yeah, you're on your own to figure out where the decimal point belongs. Okay, chuck the slide-rule and get a book of log tables. Then you can multiply brain-whacking-big (or small) numbers by adding their logs. It's slower, though.

Or you can drop a log on the fire or you can drop a log on the parasite or tell him to go frolic with the logs in the septic tank. Log, log, log. It's better than bad, it's good.
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Post January 25, 2018, 11:58:44 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

"Lester, I'm gonna find out where ya live and then I'm gonna take that yellow piece of crap along with those wooden Sorbo Chinese love bead and shove them up your..."

Okay parasite. Heel. Sit. (patting the parasite on the head as it drools for the piece of leathery bull penis dog treats).

Sorry about that Lester but you spoke the parasites name and thus it becomes a bit frisky and active. I wonder if I box it up and send it to the Army, if they could use it in nuclear testing. Maybe see if it can stay alive?

Munch, munch. "Gotta any more of that dick, dickhead?"

That's it parasite, get back in the bottle or else.

"Or else what moron? Ya gonna smash me again?"

Nope. Don't say I didn't warn you... SMOOCH!

"ARghh! Yuck! Nasty!" Robin had given the parasite a sloppy wet kiss thus throwing the parasite off guard and causing it to become nauseous and it actually gagged and puked. Thus, it was easy to pluck the parasite up, complete with it's half-eaten piece of pizzle, and place it in a glass bottle.

Sorry about that again Lester. Sometimes the parasite is fun and other times, a royal pain in the buttocks. Anyway, looked them up on Amazon. Did you notice the new price is $29.95 but they had two used ones in the $300.00 price range?

The soroban is something I've seen in use by one who really knew how to use it. His fingers flew and it was fun to watch. I did not remember what they were called though.

(enjoyed your use of the word, log. the septic tank log in particular is definitely a good place for the parasite. also, thank for the inspiration)
*

Log

Log in with a password
Log out with button
Logjam in the river
Log to lumber
Log the numbers in the files
Logger loves the sawdust
Logic of the scientist
Logion
Logistic
Logo
Logos
Logy

Log, a base where a home is made, complete with windows, family; a word nested in between lofty and lohengrin.
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Post January 26, 2018, 03:31:17 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Did you notice the new price is $29.95 but they had two used ones in the $300.00 price range?

HA! That's fucking hilarious! "Get yours now! Only ONE for the price of TEN!"

I saw some comment about that phenomenon; it seems there are people who set up some kind of bots to set the prices of an item they have to sell, and ... well, I forget the rest, but it goes horribly wrong and you'll find some book priced at thousands of dollars when it should only be worth a buck ninety-five. I suppose machines are only as smart as the people operating them. Reminds me of a neighbor of mine; he told me about how he was using a chainsaw once to cut a branch that was over his head ... he cut from the bottom of it ... he wound up with the chainsaw stuck there, of course, so ...

... he went and got ANOTHER chainsaw. Some people don't deserve their luck. He's a good neighbor, though; he clears some of the snow off my driveway when it gets deep, and I only have to fix a little bit of it after he leaves. I let him use my driveway for overflow parking once in a while, which is why he does little favors for me.

And slide rules? Yikes! Give me ten fingers and toes any day for solving math problems, or rocks, or even bricks.

Finger-counting, yeah ... look up "chisenbop." I think it's Korean; doesn't much matter. These little kids multiplying and dividing huge numbers with no devices at all, in seconds. Saw that on a TV show once, maybe "60 Minutes" or something like it. It just looks a little weird when they do it.

Mello Yello is due to arrive tomorrow. And as soon as I get it out of the box it'll be headed to the basement, where I'll take the fourth string off and substitute a low G and maybe file out the nut slot a titch. Then I'll have to retune it for a couple months before it'll hold its tuning ... it's those plastic strings. They take forever to get done stretching. I made up a joke:

Q: How do you know it's time to change the strings on your ukulele?

A: It holds its tuning.

Enough for tonight.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

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Post January 26, 2018, 10:12:18 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

What's fun is the stupid stuff we all do and then don't tell anyone about it. For example: walking on a sheet of plywood spanning some trusses but forgetting the last part is suspended in the air and not supported by a truss and then stepping on the end... I would never do such a stupid thing...never... did I mention that I never would would on the end of a piece of plywood and do the 'wily coyote, road runner, fall of the cliff, get hit in the head with a rock thing?

Can you switch from plastic strings to metal guitar strings?

Watched a short video on chisenbop. Watched a 5 year old and enjoyed his skill at such a young age.

Thanks again for the inspiration and letting me know of a new way to use my fingers and toes.
*

Never Too Old

Some say they know a lot
Some say they know everything
Some forget more than most could ever learn.

If you knew at the age 18 what you know at 80
would it make it a better way?

Old knows young
Young knows old
The two together is what the world is today.

Old men and women watching children learn and play
Children listening, and watching old people learn how to be.

(Inspired by learning of chisenbop and watching a cow give birth to a calf. Within an hour the calf was up, sucking, and jumping for joy while the other 'old' cows watched the whole scene)

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Post January 27, 2018, 04:25:52 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Lipinski wrote:...
The rock pondered long and hard. Rocks have been known to ponder for centuries...

...

"I'd like to go take a nap. All this movement is tiring."

"You go for it rock. I think I'll go raid the fridge. I think Robin left some stale bologna in there. It should be turning green by now.

(to be continued)


Hi Rock. It's Tao. I've done a year of resting myself.

Are you done with your nap? Want to study some chess positions? I need to regroup with the Old Game of Rocks and Knights as I prep for getting my final street cred for the month with the park players. And I need someone patient.

I'm an old, tired bird. And my head hurts. Let's set up a nice older master game no one's heard of. Want in?"

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Post January 27, 2018, 04:29:26 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

(ps I wasn't here at Inception. Who's Fred?)
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Post January 27, 2018, 01:17:18 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Can you switch from plastic strings to metal guitar strings?

Of course you could, but you'd destroy the uku before you ever got it in tune. That goes for the wooden ones, too; they're very lightly built. There are solid-body electric ukuleles with steel strings, but I don't know why; they sound quite a lot like full-sized electric guitars.

Unsecured plywood, oh my. Well, you're here writing about it, so I guess whoever that did or didn't happen to must have made it home okay. That's good.

Hello, old firebird. I don't play chess, but I can make it more interesting *points away from the board* HEY, LOOK OUT! *relocates a piece on the board*.

I apologize; that's such a low-grade trick, and so overused these days around the capital. I'll bet the rock didn't fall for it, either. It's also something Coyote would do when he's hungover and can't think of anything better. Thanks, Robin; now I've got to go displace another pest. Hmm ... hey, parasite! Go eat that coyote!
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

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Post January 27, 2018, 11:45:04 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Hi Tao. Let me ask the rock... get right back...

Okay, for what it's worth, here is the rock. Just remember, rocks are fickle bastards and make for some strange conversation. But, an inside secret is rocks...all rocks... love to dance. So, here is rock.

"Tao. Chess no one has heard of is best played with an entire planet. We play where the King is replaced with the pawn, the pawn replaced by fire, the fire cooled by ice, ice shattered by rock, and the balance of winners and losers tallied where the final count becomes the death of a world or the beginning of an entirely new universe."

Anything else rock?

"You are needy."

Anything for Tao?

"You all are needy. I'm going back to sleep. There is a big dance coming and I need to be ready. Tree's will dance. The moon will dance. The ocean will dance. It will be good music."

And there you have it Tao, strange breed rocks. I like em though. As for Fred, he is a spider friend of mine. Been with me since birth and really is fun to have around. Muuuuch better than that stupid parasite.
*

Another interesting fact about plywood Lester. When you stack a unit of plywood outside and a really strong wind comes along, they fly off into the air much like a deck of cards. Got smart and now drive a screw through the top three or four sheets.

Also, there... "Hey Lester, I heard you got a pest in your life? Now ya got me. So. What's your pest? Crabs, bed bugs, roaches... Ooh ooh, no I know, your pest is that cranky old lady in the apartment next to you that drinks her own urine and always wants to lick your shoes!"

WHACK! (placing the immobile pile of goo called the parasite back into the bottle is slid out of.) Sorry about that Lester, the parasite truly is a prick.

Thanks you two for the inspiration.
*

Eyelids heavy as the second hand shows an even rhythm of closure
With tools stored and the sun put to bed, the time for sleep gets closer
Chess in a park where people play through a weekend
Stringed instruments play to soothe the moment
Memories of a day now passed with work, play, food, life...

Pests in the background chewing out the soul
Lifeless words replaced by silence
Through it all, the dogs, mans best friend show companionship
Snoozing on the sofa
Soon all is quiet until morning arrives with sounds of waking take over.
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Post January 28, 2018, 01:04:42 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

The other pest, Robin? Coyote, of course; you brought him into the mix by naming him a few posts back. Gotta be careful about that. Lemme try this ...

Hey, parasite, Coyote likes pizzles too, and he's got a bunch of 'em. Go see if he'll share with you. Be careful, though, he might want sex in exchange.

Ah, high wind and flying sheet-goods ... I can picture that; the plywood sky-dance. It disturbs me that I can't remember whether I've ever had to deal with that problem myself ... I'd just weight them down with a sandbag or a few cement blocks, I think. Tarps like to have fun, too.

Mello Yello is here. Playable enough, but FUGLY. I may post pictures. This thing cries out for a paint-job.
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Post January 28, 2018, 02:00:25 PM

Writers' Menagerie [Contains Adult Situations]

Hey Rock, I like you! And did you know your grandfather inspired a science fiction writer from a few decades ago? His name was Stone.

And you have given us both a beautiful game, and a prologue of melodious music! So if we can ask you to postpone rest, I would like a couple lessons!

You can return to slumber when my flash of energy gives out again soon!

- --------

Meanwhile, Coyote and Crew are not parasites - they have a top tier lineage of grudging respect as Tricksters.
Meanwhile, that could be quite an ...affair, if Coyote propositioned you!
(And Coyote is way sexier than parasite! Lester, we might be winning by slowly outclassing it!)

Gunnerkrigg court's resident Coyote:

http://i1332.photobucket.com/albums/w60 ... 074899.jpg

Coyote's Smiley:

O0
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Post January 28, 2018, 09:06:35 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Meanwhile, Coyote and Crew are not parasites - they have a top tier lineage of grudging respect as Tricksters.
Meanwhile, that could be quite an ...affair, if Coyote propositioned you!
(And Coyote is way sexier than parasite! Lester, we might be winning by slowly outclassing it!)

I've read a bunch of stories about Coyote, but it's been a while. One I recall a little bit of was that he was walking along a riverbank and saw a couple of pretty girls on the other side, so he made his penis grow longer and longer and made it swim across the river ... I don't remember how it ends, but his tricks don't always work well for him.

We need these characters, though; they make us pay attention.

Nice picture; thanks.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

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Post January 29, 2018, 10:36:44 AM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

Definitely a nice pic, though when the parasite hears and see's it... Maybe I should send it and its bottle into orbit?

Yes, the Coyote is truly a trickster.

As for the Coyotes size of penis, I'm thinking the river was really tiny but then again, stranger things have happened.

Good fodder for inspiration
*

Following the circle where the circle never ends
Feet to travel the river of time
Reaching across fertile waters, snaking past rocks and way

Trees branched to feel
Air moving to be
Morning
Day
Night
again it is another day.

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Post January 29, 2018, 11:14:26 PM

Re: Writers Parasite [Contains Adult Language & Situations]

"Okay, out of the bottle and that nerd Robin is nowhere to be seen. And from what I just read I see Lester and Tao are 'thinking' they can 'win' by outclassing me? Really? And lets get this straight, with Coyote no less...HA!"

Parasite? (shaking the head from side-to-side with a look of disgust on his face, robin sighed and said) Will you ever learn?

"Learn? Learn what? How to knit a pink sweater or pick lint out of my belly button? You truly are a dweeb."

Yes, might be a dweeb but I also think Lester and Tao are correct. Coyote for sure is sexier than you will ever be, I mean come on, look at you parasite. Drooling on yourself, dressing like...well, naked, and what kind of 'body' is that? Pasty green with orange spots one day and purple with yellow mushrooms growing off it the next...And parasite? You do have a strange sexual fetish with dolphins. That in and of itself shows your lack of class. Plus, you stink, you ooze strange fluids, and you are a bit rough in your language.

(the parasite started to tear up and something looking like water started to fall from one of its many eyes.)

Truth hurts don't it parasite.

"Hurt? Me? I'm crying for joy because you noticed my mushrooms AND the dolphins, and just to let you know... Coyote and I play the stick game every 100 years of so and from my calculations, I'm owed a whole lot of grub... Hey! Let me go. I, I, I... (muffled sounds came from the parasite and it was once again stuffed into a bottle which was then stuffed into a trunk and then covered in concrete)
*]*]*]

Game of Sticks

Three sticks upon the ground
One, freshly cut with sap and bud
Two frozen from Fall with yellowed leaf attached
Three dry and dead

Gathered in one hand, passed to the next
Given to the opponent eyes closed to enter the world next to the world
Thrown high into the wind

One enters the eye of the Moon
One enters the SuN
One enters the shell of Mother Turtle

Which one is which and how is the game won
Where players multiply in numbers,
swelling
increasing
as time moves along

Until finally the sticks return to where it all began
Falling into a pile
The top grabbed by a child
The middle thrown into the fire
The bottom one sprouts anew

There is a winner and the game is reborn.
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