Electrocuting The Clowns By David Byron

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Post March 03, 2008, 11:49:11 AM

Electrocuting The Clowns By David Byron

This was... a strange story. The clown dolls were especially wierd. But I liked the way that, at the end, the whole story was put into perspective... a perfect example of an unreliable narrator, and very well written indeed.
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Post March 18, 2008, 06:57:10 AM

Re: Electrocuting The Clowns By David Byron

I too found this to be a fascinating sojourn into a skewed mind.  It's a fairly common theme (psychosis from the perspective of the one suffering) and I've never seen it done better.

The whole Did I take enough/too much/any medication, internal dialog was especially poignant, I think.  It lent some verisimilitude to the whole experience that seems lacking in many of these tales.

There was also a nice balance of detail including having to set-up a fan to clear the smoke and the sound/feel of the nails screeching out of the wall.  It made the experience more realistic considering the surreal elements that had to be there.  Good work, that.

I'm not sure of the final outcome--which is usually a good thing--but I choose to believe that the protagonist actually killed the warlock boy and saved the day.  It's a possibility, after all.

Okay, the girl used him and the whole experience sent him over the edge, but he was walking a pretty fine line, anyway.

He almost certainly killed somebody, and everyone else seemed to have been accounted for.

But maybe I'm just being hopeful.

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Post April 05, 2008, 12:45:10 PM

Re: Electrocuting The Clowns By David Byron

I'm glad that I finally got a chance to read this one, because I really liked the title.

I don't care for clowns, but as I understand it, that's a popular sentiment. Perhaps the notion of a clown execution appeals to me on some subconscious level.

Maybe I'm just simple, but I really prefer when I know what the heck happened in a story I just read. This style of story usually leaves me hopelessly in the dark, and then I hate it. However, this particular story, at least I felt like I halfway knew what was going on. The boy was obviously being used, whether for an imaginary threat or a real one. He clearly flipped in some degree, but the warlock element lent itself that maybe the story was exactly as written: Warlock in the body of a clown attacking a semi-loopy kid for the amusement of a tease.

Or maybe he was just ritually sacrificing dolls, people thought that was too crazy to ignore, and they gave him the rubber room treatment. Or maybe the last one was really a kid brother he murdered, or something.

However it actually turned out, I followed it up to that point.

I couldn't say it was particularly scary, though, since I didn't know what was real or not.

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Post April 06, 2008, 03:54:35 AM

Re: Electrocuting The Clowns By David Byron

The way I see it, there are two major possibilities. Either the other boy really was a warlock and he saved the girl... who then betrayed him. Or:

He fell for the girl, and wasn't entirely sane. She had a boyfriend, the other boy. He convinced himself that she really liked him and not the other boy, but was pretending to like the other boy, because... um... because he was a warlock. And... and she would really prefer things if he were out of the picture. If he were dead. And... and, in fact, he's dead already. Yes. Dead already. He died of perfectly natural causes last week. The fellow standing here in the room therefore evidently wasn't him. It... or, no, wait, it was him, his ghost, haunting the poor girl. Yes. It was a clown doll a few minutes ago...

And then the girl and her mother come home from some shopping to find that the crazy guy from school has stabbed her boyfriend...

Both are possible, but I think I like the first a bit more.



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Post October 03, 2010, 02:14:21 AM

"Electrocuting The Clowns" is by Ferrel Moore, copyrighted 2003 and published in "Beyond The Porch Light," an anthology, and not by the "clown" who published it here at Aphelion. Please take a moment to read about this at http://www.thewriterandthewhitecat.blogspot.com. Your support against plagiarism would greatly be appreciated. Honest writers need to stick together in order to protect our works.

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