Level 49 By Lee Gimenez


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Post June 12, 2008, 08:16:22 AM

Level 49 By Lee Gimenez

Why shoot them?

Why, after all that, shoot them?

I liked the story, the characters, everything (I suspect that moving up a level probably required political connections that they didn't have as well) but I was quite surprised at the ending.
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Post June 12, 2008, 11:15:04 AM

Re: Level 49 By Lee Gimenez

Why shoot them?

Why, after all that, shoot them?

I liked the story, the characters, everything (I suspect that moving up a level probably required political connections that they didn't have as well) but I was quite surprised at the ending.


MarsEx (and the governments sanctioning their actions) MUST ensure that people believe that there is no point in opposing or trying to escape their press-gang tactics. Think of it as an extreme version of governments shooting deserters (or at least imprisoning both deserters and draft-dodgers)...

RM
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Post June 13, 2008, 05:22:29 AM

Re: Level 49 By Lee Gimenez

It is extreme. It makes sense, it's just... well... it just came as a bit of a shock, that's all.

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Post June 15, 2008, 04:00:45 PM

Re: Level 49 By Lee Gimenez

You've got a good outline for a much longer work here. There's a lot of telling rather than showing, and a novel (or even novella) would give you the space to avoid those expository shortcuts. a longer version would let you explore the political issues of MarsEx (government control of lives, abortion, treatment of prisoners, etc.) with more depth. I also found myself liking the characters, and so would like to know more about them: the gritty details of what they did that landed them on MarsEx, how they came to know one another, etc. I look forward to reading more of your work (including maybe a longer versionof this tale?).
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Post June 18, 2008, 12:22:30 PM

Re: Level 49 By Lee Gimenez

Now here’s a story that one can build on.  I know that the company I just retired from would love to have the type of power that MarsEx has.

It’s interesting that their apartment complex is called a Hive, and their apartments, Cubes. That parallel to Bee Hives suggests no individual rights.

A draft to get enough workers on Mars? A very interesting concept in economics and one that should be explored further!

I was drafted in the Viet-Nam war at age nineteen, wasn’t married, and really didn’t know nor care about the war. In fact, a bunch of buddies of mine were also drafted at the same time---guys I knew from high school.  We were more interested in the girls we would meet overseas like in Europe or the East, and really didn’t give much thought about the political situation in Viet-Nam, nor if the war was right or wrong.

I can understand somewhat about how the Taylors’s felt, their living conditions, and their boss who doesn’t give a rats ass about them, except to be at work on time. When one gets drafted, one finds out what demoralization is. And that is only with a two year draft!! Ten years? That's un-real, and I can see why MarEx killed the Taylors at the end.

MarEx seems to run in strict military fashion.

The Taylors are in a fix, and at the end company police kill them! No doubt to send or maintain a very strong message to other would be deserters that the company will not forgive. They can always draft others. Stay the course or die!!

Good story telling and good use of language. A little more sensory input would have added some spice!!

Nice job!!!
;)
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Post June 18, 2008, 05:20:49 PM

Re: Level 49 By Lee Gimenez

Thank you for the comments above. I'll keep these in mind in my future writing.

Lee Gimenez

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