Bleach By David Brookes


Tell us what you thought of the August 2008 issue

Moderator: Editors

CCC

Senior Critic

Posts: 258

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Post August 17, 2008, 05:04:31 AM

Bleach By David Brookes

Interesting. I liked the description of the teleportation, although I'm surprised that there was even a working receiver in the building.

They were very lucky with the singularity, though. No way to tell how big an effect it would have had, after all.

Senior Critic

Posts: 263

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: California

Post August 17, 2008, 11:48:25 AM

Re: Bleach By David Brookes

That's neat. A pocket sized black hole (singularity) good for either a weapon or waste management.

gino

Commenter

Posts: 31

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Post August 20, 2008, 03:14:48 PM

Re: Bleach By David Brookes

Although well written, I did not see much point to the story. So he's the clean up guy, and he cleans up. Having his old mates there did not add anything, as they could have been completely different people and not changed the story much, or at all.

I did like the science, although I could not follow too much of it.

Like I said, nicely written, but missing something, at least for me.

Commenter

Posts: 39

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Santa Clarita, Calif.

Post August 30, 2008, 01:47:30 PM

You did a nice job of world building - through the whole story I felt as if the setting was real and complex.
Rob Bignell
Check out my SF Web site, Inventing Reality (http://inventingreality.4t.com/)

Commenter

Posts: 2

Joined: March 06, 2009, 07:42:08 AM

Location: Sheffield, England (UK)

Post March 08, 2009, 07:27:43 AM

Your comments

Hi folks,

Thanks for our kind comments on my story "Bleach"! I'm glad that you found the setting believable; I'm a big believer in creating a tangible world with as much description as the pace allows.

I suppose I can't argue with FatBaldGuy's comment about our protagonist's relationship to the "villain". For the purposes of story I suppose it could have been anyone - but then usually that's always the case. Was Die Hard 3 any better for making the villain's vengeance "personal"? No, but it was still a crackin yarn!

Glad you enjoyed the story folks, I appreciate your taking the time to comment on my work! Incidentally, there's more fiction at www.pantechnicon.net and at my own site, www.spinninglizard.co.uk. Enjoy!

Return to August 2008

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.