Post April 21, 2008, 12:51:27 PM

Re: Bug By Coffee Anderson

A good opening that started off the story in a sincere direction. I fell into the story after the first few sentences and liked the settings. Buckets and all the other characters came alive, and the story continued with interest.

A British accent in the City State of Las Vegas, gave a moderate impression that things were not as they once were in America, or the world!

Some parts were confusing with wrong word choices--some I think to emphasize, but none too far out.

The technical info dump had a purpose:The author broke away from the main plot and added sub-themes to show how a future world might function.

Financial concerns were explored and a look into future companies---one controlled by an ex-gang member with an MBA--were also developed along future possibilities. I usually don’t like info dump, but in this story it worked for the most part.

Instead of using a block style to shift attention such as the one titled ’Ysoi’ I would have integrated them into the flow of the story. But that is only a moot point and a preference of style to me.  I did like ‘Casablanca’ for the reference to romance by bringing up the old Humphrey Bogart movie!

One point: More showing and less telling, and some more sensory inputs would have added much to this story, but the story did have some.

A very interesting story with many themes.

Not bad!!!!  
Tesla Lives!!!