The style was very reminiscent of Hitchhikers, which many folks have already noted. I picked up on the Dr. Who influence as well. I’m not a big Dr. Who fan, so I wasn’t sure which Doctor inspired Trauma Martin. Tom Baker went through my mind and seemed to fit. He was mysterious, knowledgeable, and irreverent. I could see, though, why Ford Perfect would also seen as an inspiration for the character, as they also share some of the same traits (although I remember Ford as being more irreverent than smart). The Time Authority concept was similar to Poul Anderson’s Time Patrol, another good read.
Douglas Adams is a huge influence on me, and I won't ever deny it. Also Terry Pratchett and Robert Asprin. I like comedy, and I enjoy reading *good* genre comedies, and hoped that this would, indeed be one.
Time travel plots and the resulting paradoxes make for both difficult writing and reading, so I’m very impressed that Rob and Jeff pulled it off so well. The plot flows smoothly. The only hiccup I had was the introduction of Hamlet. I was surprised the Dane would know English. However, when I figured out they really Shakespeareans with their own world, I had to applaud the genius of having Hamlet being an actor as opposed to an actor trying to be Hamlet. The use of irony was quite delicious.
There's more to Shakesperion IV than was explained in this story. We may yet write something that explains it more, or at least include a scene in a future story that explains what on
Earth is going on there.
There are a number of other things I thought done well. The installments ended on wonderful cliffhangers, a technique that seems to be underutilized by less experienced writers. I also wondered who the “bad guys” would be and was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was the janitors all along. I had feared we would get an antagonist out of the blue. Instead, it turned out to be a cleverly crafted part of the plot.
It's worth noting that G&5 was written as a serial, rather than a novel that was later split into parts. So the cliffhangers were quite intentional. If you look, you'll see the word-count for each installment gets slightly longer, because the original outline was to the effect of "Ok, here's the basic story. Part one ends here, part two ends here, etc", without realizign how much would be required to get to each point. Part one was originally 3,000 words long. Part Six was over 20k. (For the rerun, we combined the original part one and part two into a single installment. The original run also had no chapter breaks.)
One of my big pet peeves is dishonest mysteries. Also, I firmly believe in the inverse of Chekov's Law. Just as "If you show a gun in Act One, you must fire it by Act Three" is true, if you fire a gun in Act Three, you must have shown it in Act One.
The story has its share of funny moments, albeit the plot turned became progressively more serious as it went along, losing some of its outlandishness. We started out with a dwarf in a closet and a prophetic clown in a dream. However, this could also signify that George’s understanding grew, and what was once alien was becoming more acceptable.
Another thing I wanted to avoid was the plot being in the service of the jokes, rather than visa-versa. So, as the situation grows more serious, the tone does slightly shift, though never so completely that there aren't liberal amounts of humour. But it's a lot easoer to be light and throw in a lot of gags when the stakes aren't as high. As the plot grew thicker, it had to.
A telling moment in the book for me is on Shakespereon, when Trauma reflects in front of the fire. It's the first glimpse you really get of him when he's not playing to some audience....I wanted to show that there's a lot going on underneath that breezy exterior. Trauma isn't quite as offhand as he'd like everyone around him to believe. He also has his own agendas, which aren't deeply explored in this book.
The only quibble I had was the existence of a number of GSP issues scattered about. Other than that, I couldn’t find any fault with the story. It’s a wonderful read that I finished relatively quickly. (No offense to other writers, but it can be painful to slog through a serial entry that’s poorly written). I think it has market potential, but might be considered too similar to Hitchhikers or Time Patrol.
I wouldn't turn down interest in it, but I think Jeff and I have both come to the realization that neither of us really looks forward to the amount of work it would be to get this particular manuscript salable. I might send it off as a query again (I'd be more willing to do serious redrafting on it if someone was offering a cheque in exhancge!), but we decided to rerun it partly because we're no longer actively trying to sell it (or, more to the point, we're
admitting that we're no longer trying to sell it.
Question for Jeff. Was Mia the inspiration for Stephanie? Or is there a shared inspiration for both? They share some of the same mannerisms, including a penchant for computers. They are both tough yet have vulnerable sides.
As Jeff already said, Mia surprised us both. You've heard writers talk about how they had certain ideas for how the story was going to go, and the characters surprised them? Well, that's very much the case here. She surprised us first by running after Trauma and getting caught up in the adventure - she was originally only supposed to be someone to help Trauma at the Library - and then later by falling in love with George. Neither of those plot developments were in the original outline. (And I know for *certain* I had a crush on her.)
Also, is this set in the Mare Inebrium universe? Or was that reference considered more an inside joke? And finally, what’s the significance of the Shady Dragon?
Both in-jokes. I imagine Jaimie is curious about the Order of the Shady Dragon, as he's just encountered the Shady Dragon Inn in the AD&D campaign we started on Tuesday, which I'm DMing. The Order was the role playing group from a campaign Jeff and I were both involved with back in the 1980s, and I tossed it in just as a wink to that. The Mare reference was the same.
Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the comments. I'm really enjoying discussing this story again after all these years.